Repentance
by Nyx the Coyote Kit
Summary: Set a few years after DMC4. Nero, Vergil, Wonderland... Dante's in more trouble than he's ever been in and it's not looking so good for him. Fourth part up, see poll in my profile
1. Chapter 1

There is no real truce possible. A devil is a devil. We are the enemies of mankind, whatever we do. There is no salvation possible, no one to hear our confessions or give us absolution. We just wait to die and go to hell. Devils simply can't go to heaven, no matter what they do. No matter how many lives they save. No matter how many times they save the world. No matter how many beatings they get in order to save even one hour to a miserable human with a lifespan of about 80 years. And that is without taking into account the murders, suicides, illnesses, mortal accidents and all those other whatnots that everyone hears about on the news. They can go to heaven even though some of them are infinitely worse than us. Even though they create stuff like nuclear bombs and such. But us demons, because we're tougher, because our lifespan is much longer, because we come from an alternate world, we are all doomed from our birth and can't ever hope for forgiveness. That would mean feeling sorry for having been born, and we just don't do that. Especially demons and halflings like myself who take pride simply in being alive. That's exactly why I never believed in that crap called God.

Come on, how could I believe some supernatural being was benevolent and all-loving when I myself, because of the demon powers running in my blood, because my dad and mom just had the bad luck to fall in love with each other, was already meant for an eternity of suffering, after my death, by that same God? It was just plain ridiculous to just even think of thinking about it. I did what my soul told me to do, period. I didn't need anybody to tell me what was good and what was bad. They'd just waste their time anyway. I'm stubborn like that. Luckily, the people around me – Trish, Lady, the clients – never really cared where my convictions lay. I did the jobs, I paid my debts when I could, I killed demons and tried saving humans, I never complained about the food or the dirty jobs, I never got into too much of a bad mood when I lost bets. I considered myself an okay guy. Sure I had some shady connections, sure I mostly ate pizza and strawberry sundaes, sure I mostly drank tomato juice and sometimes a beer or two when I felt up to it, but those weren't particularly bad quirks, right? They were just my eccentricities and nobody got hurt because of them, so it was alright. I wasn't developing that much of a bad karma, like some humans would say. And I'd say I saved the world of those stupid humans enough times to repent for them. So then why was life such of a boredom?

"...te... Dante. DANTE!", yelled Lady, right in my ear.

I turned around and looked at her levelly, without even jumping in surprise. You just learned to do that after a while. "What is it that you have to destroy my eardrum for?", I growled at her, not exactly in the mood to be playful.

"I've been calling you for a while now. Couldn't you hear me?", she countered indignantly, crossing her arms and sitting on my desk right beside my legs. Trish was looking at us from the sofa, on my right. I didn't even have to look to know she was there. "Anyway, I was about to tell you about a job I got, but you don't seem to be feeling too well for devil ass-kicking. I'm gonna go alone."

She jumped off my desk and headed for the door. I growled deep in my throat and put my feet back on the floor. "When are you leaving? I'll go with you. I need to pass some frustration onto something," I told her, getting up.

She stopped and turned around, raising an eyebrow as she looked at me. "I'll be passing by Fortuna City on my way," she informed in an innocent tone.

I swore under my breath, then crossed my arms. The little witch had some kind of plan in mind, maybe even a trap. Don't ask how I knew it, it was something I learned to detect after passing years with those two females. No other woman or devil was as evil as those two. And one of them was purely human. "It's okay, I can just go around it at that point and wait for you on the other side of the city."

Hands landed on my shoulders and forced me back down on my chair. I looked up and behind me. There stood Trish with one of those "don't you dare do something stupid like trying to get away because I'll snap your neck and cut your balls off when you're trying to gain back consciousness" kind of glares. I never did like those and the situations they were used in, except when they weren't directed at me, which wasn't often.

Lady took a few steps back towards my desk and put her hands flat on it, placating me with that hard as stone stare of hers that definitely said something like "guys are idiots and you're no exception, Dante". I hated that kind of look, too, though it was a bit less dangerous than Trish's. "Stop spewing bullshit, Dante. Even if YOU haven't realised it yet, us girls can't help but notice it. What's more, we've been your partners, so we know you, and we can analyse your moods as easily as we know how many women you've bedded in the last year. Our diagnosis: you're depressed and sexually frustrated. And you've been that way since you got back from Fortuna City."

I felt Trish shake her head behind me. "No. Even before that. I first noticed after you killed Nelo Angelo, then Mundus. After that, every time you saved the world, you got worse. But it seems like since you left that kid up in Fortuna City, you've fallen even deeper in your bad mood, Dante."

Lady nodded vigorously in agreement. "I don't know if it's the white hair and blue eyes, if it's because he's somewhat of a halfling too or if it's because he's a male ally, but I've been getting the feeling that somewhere inside you, you're comparing him to your twin brother and longing for him. You know he isn't coming back, so get over it and fuck the damn kid, already! Everybody will be much more happy afterwards, and it'd be even better if he became your lover and new partner, but I won't ask that much of you. Yet."

I felt one of my eyes start to twitch and grabbed the armrests of my chair so hard, they'd split any moment. "Why are you girls so enthusiastic about seeing me with another guy? Shouldn't you be matching me up with one of your girl friends or something?"

Lady's eyes were still telling me "guys are idiots and you're a lifetime away from being an exception, Dante" while Trish's were drilling holes in the back of my head. I knew they were. "How many women have you had since you met the kid?", asked the blonde.

I didn't even have time to formulate an answer or a protest because Lady answered for me. "None."

"Have you tried flirting with any woman or responded to their flirts since you came back?", continued the demoness mercilessly.

"Nope," replied once again the explosive brunette.

"Have you jerked off to any of those porn magazines of yours recently?"

They really were asking for it. I jumped to my feet, glaring daggers at Lady since she was the one in front of me. I could sense my Devil Trigger become impossibly ticklish, and that was never a good sign. "What the hell do you two witches care what I do with my libido for! Am I asking you what kind of stick you've been using to play with yourselves recently? NO! Because I know you wouldn't take any excuses and just castrate me instead of answering! Do you really expect me to just stay still as you expose every aspect of my sexual activities to one another in front of me? And you even dare to try and force me into bed with the kid! One, he's already got a goddamn girlfriend! Two, he lives in a different reality than you and I! Three, he considered me an enemy for a couple of days, back there! He even tried to kill me! How the fuck do you expect me to work this shit out! What the fuck does banging Nero have anything to do with my brother's death!", I yelled, my eyes glowing red in anger and my power rising in tidal waves.

The door opened suddenly and all three of us froze as a familiar figure stepped in. It was Nero, and he was looking surprised, a bit lost, maybe even a bit scared. "So this really is where you live, Dante," he said awkwardly, probably not really knowing if he'd come in at an appropriate time or if he'd just stepped into something potentially dangerous.

"Speak of the devil," whispered Lady, turning around. "Yep, this is the lair of the great lady/demon killer, Dante! Don't be shy, come forward. Trish and I were leaving, anyway, since our discussion with that thickheaded idiot is over."

The two girls started to leave, but on her way out, Trish put a hand on the kid's shoulder. "I suggest you don't wind him up any more than he already is if you don't want to fight his full power. He's about to go berserk."

Nero blinked in confusion. "Uh... thanks for the advice?"

Just before she was out the door, Lady looked at me over her shoulder. "Don't forget our discussion, Dante. And don't _bang_ the poor kid too hard."

Her first and only smart move today was to get out before I decided the world didn't need one more woman. But I knew they knew they had gone too far. And they also knew I did know that. The fact that they hadn't apologised or changed the course of the discussion just meant they were serious and they wanted to be sure their point had gotten across to me. I had to admit they were right on some points. Yes, I _was_ sexually frustrated. Yes, my brother's disappearance, then death, had dealt a pretty hard blow on me, more so than I would've ever liked to admit. Yes, I'd once considered, though not seriously, going to Fortuna to fuck the kid right in front of his girlfriend, but that had been on a rainy day, when I was out of cash, out of pizza, hadn't had any clients in over a month, I was reading the same magazine for the hundredth time consecutively and I hadn't had any sleep in a few days. I also had to admit that I had seen myself doing some lewd things to him while I slept. I don't dream, because I don't care what happens in the future. But those three times were isolated cases. It didn't mean that I desired Nero. Oh no, it didn't. The kid believed in god. All he had to do to go to heaven was cut off his Devil Bringer and let the demonic blood in his system be purged. Life was simply unfair. And why am I even thinking about stupid things like that in the first place!

I sighed as I sat back down into my chair and propped my feet back onto my desk. I had to calm down, anyway. "So, why're you here, kid?", I started the conversation off casually.

Nero looked around, then went and sat on the sofa. Right where Trish had sat. But that didn't matter and I could even say that it was irrelevant. "Meh... Broke up with my girlfriend and decided I'd try something new by coming here. Been a while since we last saw each other, huh?"

I could tell he was awkward and sighed once again. "How much have you heard?", I asked him calmly.

He looked aside. "Your outburst could be heard a couple of streets away. I heard all of it."

Sighing, I put my feet on the ground, turned my chair to face him, put my elbows on my knees and my head in my hands. "Look... I won't do anything to you, don't worry. But I won't be mad if you decide to hit me a couple of times upside the head, kick me in the nuts, scream insults at me and leave somewhere where I won't be able to find you. In any order you want. They just pissed me off real bad and I'm not exactly feeling at my best."

"Please dont say that before knowing the full reason I came here, Dante...", he objected quietly.

I lifted my head and looked at him with surprise. He was blushing a little, but staring at me seriously. "Then why exactly have you decided to come here?"

It was his turn to sigh, and he leaned forward, putting his elbows on his knees, and looked at the floor. "As I've told you, I broke up with my girlfriend. Truth is, after you left, I thought about you more and more, and about her less and less. Most of what I did was fight demons off of Fortuna, but after a while of being interrupted, she decided that I had to stop fighting demons all the time and stay with her or go find myself someone else who wouldn't mind all the fighting. I immediately thought of you, and I considered trying it out..."

"So you're saying that girl hates that you fight demons and you decided to come and woo me out of curiosity without even wondering if I batted for the two teams?"

"Gloria- err... Trish... once told me that demons don't exactly care about the sex of their partners..."

"Why that little...", I mumbled under my breath, before sighing and deciding I'd go to bed early. I got up and headed for the staircase. "At any rate... putting talks of intimate relationships aside... I don't mind you staying here for a while. As long as you make yourself useful, of course, and take some jobs too. Unfortunately, I only have one bedroom, which only has one bed. And the couch isn't safe. So we'll have to figure something out."

He raised an eyebrow at me. "'The couch isn't safe'?"

"Yeah, you never know when demons will try to break in here to kill me or when the demonic objects I leave down there may decide to wake up and rampage. Last time someone other than me tried coming in here in the middle of the night, they ended up spooked, with a broken leg and an object used to call demons that had been given to them by someone who hated my guts and later summoned a powerful devil to try and take over the world."

Without another word, Nero followed me upstairs, beyond a door and into a small corridor leading to three doors. "If you want to shower, it's downstairs, but there's a second toilet up here," I said as I pointed to the first door. "Just remember not to flush it if I'm in the shower, k?" I then pointed to the door at the end of the corridor. "That's technically the broom closet, but I keep some swords, un-enchanted guns and ammunitions and a couple other stuff like that. You know... in case the shop gets attacked and it happens to be the one unlikely chance that neither of my guns are with me." I then opened the third door and stepped in. "And this, of course, is the bedroom. As you can see, the bed is pretty small, so you take it and I'll just sleep on the floor or go on the couch downstairs. I'll think of something else tomorrow."

As I was about to turn around, the kid grabbed my arm, his head hung low so that I couldn't see his face. "I don't mind sharing the bed. I don't mind at all," he said shyly.

I wasn't even in the mood to consider it. I simply shook his hold off. "Well I do," I merely said as I left him there and went back downstairs to sleep on the couch.

* * *

The next day, first thing in the morning, the phone rang, taking me abruptly out of my sleep. In fact, I got so startled that I somehow ended up falling to the ground. I didn't remember having a phone so close to my bed... Then I remembered what had happened the day before and the arrival of Nero. I sighed, getting to my feet and going to answer the phone.

"Devil May Cry, sorry but we're not open yet, so call back later," I drawled, trying to stretch a little and keeping a yawn at the same time.

"Well, Dante, I didn't think you would answer at all after spending a night with the kid. Don't tell me you didn't even make it to the bedroom...?"

I knew that voice too well. "Trish, shut the fuck up and stay out of my private life. Besides, I have no intentions of doing anything besides work with Nero. You better make up your mind and accept it."

I heard her sigh discontently and prepared myself for a long scolding. "See, that's the problem with you right there, Dante. You really have no idea why it didn't work out neither with Lady or me, right? And don't you dare tell me it's because we're evil, 'cause you and I both know that's just an excuse," she said patiently. I was surprised that she wasn't yelling my ear off. "I know no one can replace your brother, Dante, but please... just try and get over it, already. It has been long enough, don't you think? Lady and I are very worried about you, you're a dear friend to us, even if we don't often act like we care. You know you can count on us to help you any way we can if you're in a bind, and that goes for if you need to talk, too. Okay?"

"It's a bit scary to hear you talking to me so softly, but, yeah, thanks. I'll keep that in mind, but I don't think I can get over his death. There's something that's preventing me from it, and although it may seem foolish, I feel like if I stop mourning him, I'll forget him and he'll disappear forever and-"

"Dante, give it up. I remember your fight with Nelo Angelo. We both know he can't still be alive, not while knowing that Mundus was still ruling the demon world when he disappeared in it. He's dead and he won't ever come back, Dante."

I flinched. Of course I knew that. I knew they were false hopes, even more after all that time. "...yeah, you're right."

I hung up and simply stood there. When that lowlife devil dropped my brother's amulet, it was clear what had happened to him. He had either been killed and Mundus had given the beast that amulet to nag me, or Nelo Angelo had really been my twin brother and I had killed him. In both cases, he was dead for good. Even if I went down into the demon world to search for him, that wouldn't do any good. I should have found a way to go after him after he fell from that cliff. I should have gone to his rescue.

_["No one can have this, Dante. It's mine. It belongs to a son of Sparda."]_

_["Leave me and go, if you don't want to be trapped in the demon world. I'm staying. This place... was our father's home..."]_

"Dante?"

I flinched as I heard Nero. I turned around and watched him descend the stairs. I couldn't move more than that. I was shocked at having been caught reminiscing, and the worse thing was that I was on the verge of tears. Again. The same as that time after I had come back from Temen-Ni-Gru with Lady. The same as every time the painful memory of the last time I saw my twin brother came to haunt me. The same as when Nelo Angelo had dropped his amulet. His half of the key to the demon world. I didn't want anyone seeing me in such a weak moment. It was my moment, my time to remember my twin brother. No one else had the right to impose themselves during such a moment. No one else had the right to try and be a part of it.

"Dante, you okay? Your eyes seem watery..."

I flinched again and tried to gain back my senses. It wasn't good to be like this with someone else around. I faked a yawn and stretched some more. "Must be your imagination. I was just yawning before you came down. Anyway, I'll go take a shower. If the phone rings, say we're not open yet. I never do business before taking breakfast. If you're hungry, well, you'll just have to wait some more. I'll call the local pizzeria when I get out of the shower."

He nodded in understanding and I marched almost mechanically in the adjoined bathroom, locking the door behind me. I let out a shaky breath as the pain racked my body. The pain of the loss of my other half. Shakily, I undressed completely and stepped into the shower, opening the hot water, letting the scalding liquid overwhelm my emotional pain before turning the knob for some cold water. The sudden change in temperature made me shiver, but it was good. It was good, this physical pain I felt as my demonic blood already went to work to heal my burns. The tingling feeling covering my whole body. I felt my powers steadily building, my frustration and emotional anguish feeding my Devil Trigger. I extended my hand to turn down the cold water, not enough to get burns, but too hot for normal people. Hot enough to hurt. Pictures of my brother when we were still kids started playing in my head as I slowly let my powers take over. My left hand rose to tease one of my nipples, while the right one went down to my cock and started stroking it. Oh, my brother and I hadn't only been twins. A little before our mother was killed and I lost him for the first time, we had been lovers for a while. It hadn't been for long, since it was mostly for experimenting, because we were always really close. We fought all the time and did all kinds of things to piss each other off, but there was no one closer to us. He had started it, and he had ended it. I hadn't minded, since I always had a strong libido and I liked women, but it had never crossed my mind to ask why he had ended it, or most importantly why he had started it.

Yet it's only now, many years after his disappearance and probable death, that such questions swarmed my mind. Now that it was way too late. Yet if he would come back, tell me he wanted me to stay by his side and never leave him, I would be unable to do anything but complying. If he wasn't trying to destroy the world, that is, in which case it would break my heart yet again. My breath hitched and I leaned my back against the wall, letting tears run down my cheeks and mingle in the hot water. The claws on my hands were already pretty prominent and I didn't have to look in the misty mirror to know my eyes were black and red instead of white and blue. The hand on my nipples journeyed down and to my ass, before I forced two fingers in. I moaned slightly, trying to keep my voice down since the kid was just beyond the door, as my claws tore a little at the flesh inside. I jerked a little harder at my cock and poked at where I knew my prostate was and bit my lip as I came, the last sight of my brother's face filling my vision as I blacked out for a minute. My power ebbed slowly away and I just stood in the hot spray of water as I waited for my legs to stop shaking. Usually, when I did such a thing, I would close the water as soon as I was done and wobble my way up to my room to take a nap. But I couldn't do that with Nero waiting for me in the next room. Sighing, I passed a hand in my hair and turned the water to freezing cold. I washed hastily, rinsed and when I finally stepped out of the shower to towel myself, I was shivering all over from cold and I couldn't feel any of my extremities. I dried myself off with the towel and dressed back in my earlier clothes. They were still fresh from yesterday, anyway. I left the bathroom just as sensation was coming back to my hands and feet and I welcomed the pain in silence.

Nero looked up at me from his place on the couch and I immediately noticed that his Devil Bringer was twitching. "What happened in there? I felt your power start to build up, then go back down," he said.

I shrugged as I made my way to my desk, unconsciously bending my fingers to test their flexibility. "Just thought of something very unpleasant that is none of your business. Do you have a preference in pizza? 'Cause I don't mind as long as it doesn't have olives on it," I said, picking up the receiver and dialing the number of my usual pizzeria.

"Anything without peppers, I guess...", he said, dumbfounded at my explanation, yet his Devil Bringer still wouldn't stop twitching.

I briefly wondered why, as I told the usual boy what I wanted, but thought I probably wouldn't know any time soon anyway. I plopped down in my chair and leaned back, ready for a small nap while waiting for the delivery boy to show up. It would take about fifteen minutes. It would take me five minutes to go there and fetch it myself, but they took their time as means to pressure me into paying my tab sooner and I was too lazy to go there. I heard the kid shift on the sofa, but didn't pay it much attention. I wouldn't change my way of life just because there was one more person in the shop. I didn't with Lady, I didn't with Trish, I didn't with Patty. So I certainly wouldn't do it now.

"What do you do all day on a regular basis?", he asked, fidgety.

"I take lots of naps. Sometime I go out to hunt some demons when I get too bored. Other times I get jobs and have to go out to kill demons in exchange for money, though I often end up doing it for nothing since I don't do what is asked of me because it's ratsy or the person asking for my help is asking for the wrong stuff or it's just a demon wanting to kill me but ending up being killed instead. Other times I stick my neck out to save the world, but that usually doesn't end with any reward other than loot that nobody would buy," I replied, scratching my cheek and thinking I might have to shave again soon. I hate shaving. It's tough and it's a waste of time since the hair will eventually grow back anyway, but I never liked having facial hair. I was lucky that it started growing only two years ago, but still... I would rather have remained beardless. After all, I've had hair down there since I was thirteen and that was all the hair I ever needed, besides those on my skull.

"Oh... How many times have you saved the world?", he asked me, obviously trying to occupy himself with conversation.

"Six times. Although, Lady would say it was really only four, saying a reborn Leviathan wasn't much of a threat and the pizzeria pyromaniac wasn't either, but still..." Meh, he wanted a distraction, I would give him one.

I heard him chuckle, just as I had expected him to. "Really?"

"Yeah. It was a few years ago, sometime between the Trish and Patty incidents. I had called to order pizza, as always, but then it didn't get through. I thought they might have changed their number in order to shake me off, you know, but when I finally went there, the building had burnt down to the ground. Many other pizzerias had had the same unfortunate fate, to I set out to find the culprit. Ended up it was the fault of some rich fatass who wanted to open a giant restaurant smack dab in the middle of town and he had wanted to get rid of competition even before having bought the terrain. Needless to say he was banned from ever coming back to town."

Nero chuckled some more, and three knocks at the door made me get up. I went and got the pizzas from the delivery boy, telling him to put this on my tab and that I would continue paying every time I get a pay. They couldn't exactly complain since I was their best client and ninety percent of every pay went to them. They had once asked and I had shown them. The other ten percent went to the other bills, such as the ones my two evil female "friends" kept on sending me. Plus, I sent a birthday gift and a Christmas gift to Patty every year. She'd been living with her mother since the last time I had saved the world. It was better that way, I didn't have to worry about her safety. Hey, I would never admit out loud to anyone, but I really was somewhat of a softie inside. The delivery boy left and I went to the couch and dropped the pizzas on the coffee table. I sat to Nero's right and opened a box, before taking a slice and leaning back to eat. I closed my eyes, thinking of what I would do afterwards. Maybe I could take him to a lair and we could get down and dirty. Hehe, not exactly in the sexual sense, but dirty with demon blood. I did say I didn't want to have sex with him and that wasn't about to change.

"Do you have a lover?", he asked me around a mouthful. I guess he really was hungry...

"You know how I live, do you think anyone would put up with the boredom just to have a daily piece of me? Not a chance. Lady and Trish didn't put up with it, why would anyone else?", I replied. "My only faithful 'partner' is my right hand, and we go way back."

"Then you haven't had sex with anyone in a long while?", he asked, surprised.

"Yeah, in fact the last time was a few years ago and it was really tasteless, involving lots of alcohol and probably some drugs, too. It isn't exactly a pleasant memory, but I was in a bad pass and I really needed some cash..." ...and I was remembering my brother way too vividly for some reason on that night, but the kid didn't need to know that. In fact, the cash had only been a little extra. I had only really done it because I needed some real good pain to forget, at least for a few minutes. My ears are still ringing from the scolding I got from Lady and Patty when they found me by the sidewalk in front of the shop. But it really had made me forget for a few moments.

Nero kept silent and I leaned forward to grab another slice. Many minutes later, as we were finishing the last pizza, I noticed that his Devil Bringer had stopped twitching. Though I couldn't dwell on it much as the phone started ringing. I stood with a sigh and went to answer.

"Devil May Cry," I said, the usual greeting when receiving calls during my "working hours". I frowned as all I heard was static. "Hello?"

I then heard it over the static. Rough breathing, like that of a giant beast. Or more likely, a giant and powerful demon. "There is no password, Dante... But I'm sure you'd like to know what goes on down in the rabbit's hole...", grunted the voice, a voice somewhat familiar, but that I couldn't exactly replace.

"Who the fuck is that? How did you get wind of the password?" Ok, so my password was "There is no password", but who cares about that?

A rough grunt, probably laughter, sounded through the static before the line died. I stared in disbelief at the receiver for a moment. The rabbit's hole? As in the one Alice supposedly went down in to get into Wonderland? What the fuck kind of craze was this? Though Alice in Wonderland business did remind me of stuff, but I couldn't exactly recall what. It was pretty weird, actually. As I put the receiver down, it started ringing again right away.

"Well, are you going to answer or what?", asked Nero, raising an eyebrow from his place on the sofa.

I frowned. Hadn't I just answered? What the fuck was going on? I picked the receiver up again and put it to my ear tentatively. "Devil may Cry," I greeted, quite unsure of myself. I didn't like this.

"You finally picked up, you damn slowpoke!", growled Lady's voice. "What took you so long!"

I clenched my jaw, already getting irritated. "Shut up, I answer whenever I want to!", I barked, trying to tell her she had chosen a real bad time to get all pissy on me. "What the fuck do you want?" I pushed the memory of the weird phonecall to the back of my head. She didn't need to know about it, anyway.

"Wow, you sure seem pissed. Lacking in libido or something? I sure do hope you're not venting your frustration out on the kid. Anyway, I called to see how things were going. You sure you wanna keep him?", she asked, her voice going back to normal.

"I'll do what I want and why would you ask how things are going?"

"Well, you know, with your outburst yesterday and everything..."

"Well I'm sure he'd thank you for your concern, but keep it to yourself. And aren't you on a mission out beyond Fortuna?"

"That was a trap to get a reaction out of you. Anyway, I guess I should hang up before Trish thinks we're getting lovey-dovey and all that," she said, before hanging up.

I threw the receiver back on its stand and went to get my trusty guns, Ebony and Ivory, and as I was about to take the last sword I had been using recently, I stopped. Light reflected off of Rebellion, hidden in a corner and accumulating dust. I decided to grab it instead. I could feel the kid's curious stare on my back as I did so.

"Where are you going?", he asked, and I heard him get up and grab his stuff to follow me out.

I cast him a glance before motioning for him to follow. I had to pass some frustration onto something. That last sentence Lady had said before hanging up puzzled me. Why would she care about Trish thinking we'd go back together? It made no sense to me, and so I pushed the matter in the back of my head to be analyzed later... "later" probably being "never".I didn't like to dwell on that kind of stuff for too long. But then I thought back on that strange phonecall. Alice in Wonderland, the rabbit's whole... yeah, I had read that story when I was younger, but that wasn't the extent of what it reminded me. Kind of like a real shitty job I did, but I couldn't remember clearly. Apparently, my memory was getting worse as time passed, which seemed kinda strange. The fact that I couldn't recall bugged me to no end, but as I trudged the streets with Nero behind me, I decided finally to push the matter back into its corner. I just knew I would find stuff that would remind me eventually. But for now, lack of understanding usually transformed into frustration before long, and I was frustrated enough as it was. Letting my demon-hunter instincts lead me, I walked down the streets silently with my new partner, because that was all the kid represented for me. My feet soon led us to a shady back-alley shop. The lights were off and there wasn't anybody around, which was actually unusual at this early hour. The bustle of the main streets echoed still on the walls around us, but there were no pedestrians here. Also, there was an awful stench in the air. I didn't think the kid could pick it up quite like I could, but it was there, and I knew what it was.

It was the kind of stench that usually permeated murder scenes and demon-controlled grounds. And I don't mean their territory, I mean their immediate area of action, like the perimeter around their nest or something. I raised my hand and tried the doorknob of the shop, only half-surprised when it turned and the door opened easily. Wasn't this kind of place usually guarded by spells? Curses? Or at least common locks? We walked in cautiously and looked around. Yep, this was where the stench of decay came from, no doubt about it. No wonder, too, with all those shelves filled with skulls of various creatures and other things I wasn't quite sure I wanted to meet alive. Yet it was unmistakably a demon's lair, or a shop selling stuff to call demons forth. Maybe even both, as in a demon's lair using this shop as cover. Though it seemed a little too intelligent for a demon to do that. They preferred to lurk and swarm in the dark and attack the unsuspecting victims. Scheming something elaborate wasn't what demons usually liked to do. Powerful beings liked simplicity more often than not. But I couldn't deny the facts: this wasn't a human's shop. Or at least, it hadn't been in a long while. These items were genuinely demonic and residual demonic aura filled the air all around us. Suddenly, movement caught my attention from an open doorway in the back wall. It was subtle and fast, like an animal scurrying in the darkness of the room beyond that doorway, but even with my heightened sense of hearing, I didn't hear the slightest sound other than my partner's breathing and slight shuffling of clothes as he bent down to take a closer look at the objects littering the shelves. I was sure I didn't have to tell him not to touch anything in case the trap wasn't on the building itself, but on the objects.

"Look around if you like, I'm gonna go have a look at the back room," I said, my voice low and absent. I glanced behind my shoulder and saw the kid nodding as he looked curiously at the items. I continued forward, deciding it might be a good idea to try and see if there was someone – or something – still alive in this damn shop. "Anybody here?", I hollered, making my steps heavier on the old wooden floor to signify my presence in case of an attack.

I was armed, after all, and I had many, many years of demon-hunting under my belt, so I wasn't afraid of some little demon's nest such as this. I had gone through much worse than a little back alley shop such as this one. Suddenly, I heard a loud cracking sound under me and the floor caved in and gave out under me. The fall was longer than I would have expected, but I landed not on stone or cement as I would have first thought. I crashed right in a pile of old, dusty crates and the first ones directly under me were pulverised, spilling their liquid contents on the other ones under them. I had hit the back of my head on the side of a crate and it took a while to recover, but as my senses came back to me, I realised one of my feet had gone through a crate and was stuck there. I struggled a moment and managed to get it out, wondering what this slimy substance that clung to me was, but at the same time knowing I probably wouldn't like the answer. I looked up and saw a hole through which filtered some light, most probably the hole through which I had gone through. It hadn't been a trap, it just showed that it hadn't been taken care of properly. But really, who builds buildings with first floors so easy to go through? The floor was made up of wooden planks supported by wooden pillars that went down on the stone floor below here and there and nothing else.

I saw Nero bending to look down through the hole. "Hey, you alright?", he asked, visibly surprised and maybe a little concerned.

"No worries, kid. I'm still in one piece," I said, looking around myself. That's when I saw the old corpse lying a few feet from where I had fallen. An arm and leg had been ripped off and the skull had a huge gaping hole on the side of it, from which the rotting brain had spilt many weeks earlier. "I think I found the guy who owned this place before the demons decided to take over... or what's left of him, at any rate..."

I froze as I heard noise behind me. Something like the sound of slimy matter scraping on stone or cement, a real disgusting sound. Nero seemed to hear it too. "What was that?", he asked.

I turned around and looked through the darkness, but even with my superior eyesight, that's pretty much all I saw after a couple of feet: utter darkness. "Don't worry, it's nothing I can't take care of. Listen, I can't jump back up, so I'll try finding another way. You look around and try to find light and a way down, alright? If you're in trouble, just scream, I'll come a-runnin."

"Same to you," he said, before disappearing from the hole. Then he reappeared. "Hey, Dante... Be careful, ok?" Then he left again.

I sighed, scratching the top of my head. "Don't say that! I'll feel like I owe you something! Geez!", I muttered, troubled.

It was the first time, really, that someone told me to be careful out of genuine concern and not just to mock me, though I really always told myself that my twin's same warnings were only half what he wanted me to think they were, and half genuine fear for my safety. I growled deep in my throat as I jumped down the pile of crates and landed on a stone flooring. This wasn't the time to be reminiscing about the past. I was in a dark place reeking of demons and I had difficulty seeing my hand when I extended my arm. Things could get ugly real quickly in these conditions, so I had to stay focused. I walked straight forward, using my senses to the maximum of their capacity. I could feel my Devil Trigger getting ticklish and that wasn't a good sign, but it could help me navigate in this darkness. At least I didn't have to extend my arms in front of me to feel for incoming walls, I would feel them. Just as I would feel any hostile presence in my immediate surroundings. Oh, sure, my senses weren't as sharp as they could have been, but they were largely sufficient for my needs. Of course, my brother always thought this way of thinking was a sign of weakness and on top of having sharper senses than me from the beginning, he had trained them a lot, but I didn't care. Even if we had been twins, we had always done everything we could not to be alike. Nobody had ever gotten our names wrong, as opposed to every other twins I had ever known or heard of. He had always been the viper preparing to strike, silent, deadly, quick, precise and elegant, while I was the brat boasting and getting underestimated because of it. The snake and the dog, both as dangerous as the other when petted in the wrong way. Our father had always been quite proud of that, and our mother was always proud to see that we cared enormously for each other, enough to be always watching the other and avenging a wrong done to the other, and making sure we didn't do things the same way. Twins, yet different in everything else than the looks and the blood. Me trying to save the world and him... No, I had to stop thinking about that.

"But you know you can't help but think about that," breathed a voice against my ear.

I jumped in surprise and turned around, Ivory already in one hand. But there was nobody there, and I didn't feel anyone. Yet that voice was so familiar... and at the same time I didn't recognize it at all. I kept the stance, ready to fire at anything I would feel out of place or any movement I would see out of the corner of my vision. I knew I wasn't alone, even if I couldn't sense anyone. I could feel that person or whatever it was _laughing_. But then the feeling went away and I told myself I had probably imagined it. I put my white gun back in its holster in my back and continued on my way. I finally came to a wall. I raised my hand to feel it. It was made of rough stones, just like the floor under my boots. I could feel a doorway on my right and I walked to it, keeping my hand on the humid stone. I came to a door made of rough, heavy wood. When I tried to open it, it wouldn't budge. I pushed and pulled at it, but nothing worked. I turned around and took a few steps, before rushing to it and giving it a good kick, but even that didn't do any good. Irritated, I went to take my guns but I stopped. This had the bitter taste of déjà-vu. Hadn't I done something quite like this many years ago? Yeah, in Temen-Ni-Gru... Then Jester...

The hair on the back of my neck stood on end as I felt the same presence as earlier laughing again, then I heard a lock turn and the door swung open outward on its own. There was something malevolent here. I knew it, and it made my human instincts cry to run away screaming while it made my demon blood boil. I could feel my Devil Trigger, impossibly ticklish already, start to take control slowly over me. My power was rising in tidal waves, but instead of getting pumped up by adrenaline like usual, it made my head hurt and I started feeling faint. Deciding to go on, I went through the door and came to a corridor stretching to both my right and my left. My body started walking to the right, seemingly on its own. I could hear the disgusting sound of slimy flesh on stone behind me again, but I couldn't turn around. My vision was becoming blurry and I could feel my demonic side itching for a fight, but somehow it was being restrained, though not by my will, and leading me somewhere of its own accord. I continued walking wobbily forward as the noise seemed to get ever closer behind me, but then I came to another closed door. My clawed and already scaly arm tore it off its hinges and threw it behind me and my eyes widened at what I saw in the small room beyond. Torches burning with purple fire illuminated the room from its four corners and allowed me to see what lay there. A diagram had been drawn on the floor with blood. By the smell of it, it was human blood.

The diagram seemed like some kind of mix between sorcery and alchemy or something, I never was quite versed in those things, with unreadable words and scribbles here and there. I could smell other blood, though, as my head started spinning and my feet took me to the center of the diagram. There, smack dab in the middle, had been written a name in blood that wasn't exactly human – though not exactly demonic either – and it had been crossed out with the same blood. My eyes widened as I understood exactly what this was. It was a diagram drawn during a ceremony to erase a demon's name. From the looks of it, this had been drawn some years ago and a special type of magic had been used to keep it from being worn out. As I fell to my knees, my legs feeling too weak to support me, I concentrated some more to try and guess at the name that had been erased. I had a bad feeling about it and I needed to know. When I made our the first letter of the name, more by sheer will of the mind than really my eyesight, I felt the tears coming to my eyes again as I tried to say the name I knew had been there. The name I hadn't noticed hadn't been pronounced in years. My twin brother's name. But all that came out of my mouth was a sobbing sigh, as I felt my consciousness slip away and at the same time I felt an enemy stopping a few feet behind me. For the first time since its awakening, my Devil Trigger was taking the entire control of my body without my consent, but I didn't care. After all, it was as if I had just learned that my other half, my dearest twin brother, had been taken from me a third time. Just as I felt my body transform fully and I was about to slip into the darkness of unconsciousness, I thought I saw a white rabbit hopping away at the edge of my vision, but surely I had imagined that...

* * *

I woke to the sound of voices around me. Loud, familiar voices, and the faraway noise of someone taking a shower. I wasn't feeling good at all, as if I had poison to drink or something, maybe even motor oil. It couldn't kill me, but it was making me sick. I tried getting up without opening my eyes and the world started spinning. The voices around me stopped and I felt hands helping me into a sitting position. I couldn't understand what they were saying and I didn't want to take the chance to open my eyes. I knew I'd feel even more sick. I needed to throw up, but first I'd have to make it to the toilet bowl. I tried telling it to them and they went silent, then I heard banging and more talking, and I was pulled up and whoever was there helped me walk a little, then helped me down and I felt the cool porcelain of a toilet bowl under my hands. And I threw up to my heart's content, ignoring the little bang I heard as soon as I bent over the bowl. A hand went up and down my naked back as a soft voice spoke near me. I still couldn't think straight or hear correctly what was going on around me, but I did manage to open my eyes. I immediately recognized my toilet, the one that was at the bottom floor of my shop. When my stomach seemed to settle down, I looked up at the person rubbing my back and stared a moment in disbelief. It was the kid, naked save for the towel wrapped loosely around his waist. He must have been taking a shower, for his bangs were still dripping wet and droplets of water were running down his torso and legs. He smiled at me and asked me something I didn't understand, though by the movement of his lips, maybe he asked me if I felt better. I nodded slightly, feeling strenghtless. He helped me back up and propped me against a wall, then I looked at him quizzically as he bent down and took off my pants, talking as he did so. I stepped out of them and watched as he took off his towel and put it aside, then helped me in the bath and opened the water. It felt good against my skin. I don't remember what happened afterwards, but when I woke up again, I was lying on the sofa, my head on someone's thighs, wrapped in towels. I looked up at the person who had lent me their thighs as pillow and met Trish's soft smile.

"How are you feeling this time, Dante?", she asked as she continued playing in my hair.

I looked around without answering her. "What happened?", I asked, not remembering much.

"Lady and Nero went back to that shop to investigate further. Remember? Yesterday, you went to a deserted shop serving as a demon's nest, you fell through the floor and got separated from Nero. He told us that when he found you, you were already unconscious and there was the corpse of a lamia near you. He also said he had felt your powers building up slowly, then stopping suddenly. He was panicked when we arrived after he managed to bring you here, take off your slimy clothes and put another pair of pants on you. Tell me what happened exactly when you were down there."

I closed my eyes again. "So it was a lamia," I said, remembering what had happened then. "Well, it played games with my mind as I was walking in darkness and for some reason, I kept thinking of my brother... and I started getting dizzy... my Devil Trigger got very ticklish, and then started taking over. And then I found..." I froze as I remembered. That last memory before blacking out seemed to me like as surreal as a nightmare.

Trish forced my head up so that I'd look at her. "What did you find exactly, Dante?"

"Say my brother's name, Trish," I requested. I had to test if what I thought was right or not. I knew I couldn't say his name, for it was a wound that opened up at every thought of him, but I had to know if I was right.

Trish opened her mouth, but all that came out was a soft breath. Her eyes widened. "Don't tell me..."

"Yeah, I found a seal of name stealing. Though I couldn't read the name, I thought it might be his. Seeing as you can't say it either, it confirms it: my twin brother's name has been erased." Back then I hadn't been able to think straight, but now that my thoughts were cristal clear, I could properly think of exactly what that fact meant. "Which means that my brother must still be alive somewhere."

For some reason, that fact tasted bitter on my lips. I thought having proof of my brother's survival would make me happy, but somehow it wasn't the case at all. I should have been excited, ready to go turn up every stone of the world in order to find him, but I felt reluctant to make the first step in meeting him again. The first time I lost him was the night Mundus killed our mother. At that time I had been sure he lived still, and I had felt this boyish excitement when my suspicions were confirmed by Arkham coming to my shop to invite me. But it hadn't been happiness that I would see him again very soon, it was the adrenaline of a good battle coming up. When he fell off that cliff after our last battle, grief had taken hold of my heart, for I had lost that undeniable feeling of knowing he was still alive, the one person who could give me a worthy fight. But it had been accompanied by the gut wrenching knowledge that I was now utterly alone, with my parents long dead, and my twin brother, my other half, being lost forever and probably dead... Lady had been my only anchor then, then she went away on her own when I could once again stand on my own, though shakily, and I met Trish. The mirror image of my mother, created by Mundus to trick and eventually kill me. A back stab as well as another lifesaver. Patty had managed to give me back the rest of my senses and I had been mostly fine, but then had come the Fortuna affair... I hated to admit it, but Lady and Trish had been right in saying that the kid painfully reminded me of my twin. But it wasn't just the white hair, the blue eyes or the demon powers and blood he had in him. In a way, I guess you could say I kept wondering what would have happened if mother had had only one son instead of twins. Nero... made me think of that, for he reminded me both of myself and my brother. And it made a wound in my heart fresh anew.

Trish frowned down at me, as she was probably knowing what was going on in my head. She had always been good to decipher every one of my thoughts. Just like I knew she knew being reminded of my mother was less painful for me, since my brother had been my lover for a time... "Don't think about that, Dante. Don't lose yourself in the past. This might as well be a trick to get to you, you know. And if your brother really is still alive, then stop mourning him. I'm sure you didn't get by regretting the past in the time after you first lost him. This situation is exactly the same, though your are older and you have friends you can count on. By the way, while you were unconscious, Nero kept worrying and he told us all about why he is here. We both know you're not uninterested, so why do you reject him?"

I closed my eyes, feeling tired all of a sudden. "I don't want him regretting anything... and besides, you might not have noticed, but my break up with both Lady and you shook me quite a bit. And if my brother comes back in the picture... I've been broken too many times, the next could very well be the one after which I won't be able to get mended properly. And he could be in danger if he got too close to me. Yesterday... I got afraid for the second time of my life. The first was when he let himself fall off the cliff... Promise me you'll never leave me alone, Trish... not just because you look like mom... you're... a precious friend to me..."

I think she whispered something back to me then, but I had already fallen deep asleep...

* * *

I woke up many hours later and immediately knew it wasn't Trish's thighs under my head anymore. Tensing up a little, I almost jumped in surprise when I heard a voice right over me. "This isn't a good idea at all, girls...", almost whined the kid, squirming a little under me. Oh, so those were his thighs, huh?

Soft, fast steps came over and I immediately recognized that smell. So, Patty had come to check up on me too, huh? I briefly wondered what had been the kid's face at seeing that little blonde phenomenon, but I quickly concentrated on still looking relaxed in order to spy on them. "What are you complaining about? Dante always sleeps like a log. You could drop him on the ground and I'm sure he wouldn't even twitch in his slumber. Besides, Trish and Lady told me you liked him, so what's the problem?", she said haughtily. Yep, this was little Patty alright. Although she had already grown into a teenager over the years, her character never changed. Rather, I think it straightened, and I caught myself almost pitying her mother...

"She's right, you know. Don't spit on opportunities to get closer to him! I didn't hear you complaining when he woke up all sick while you were taking a shower and you even made him take one," I heard Lady say from nearby.

Nero stiffened under me. "I wasn't thinking about that at the time! And besides, he was covered in sweat and I figured if he had had any of that stuff on him, a shower would help him recover some!", he countered in his defense. "And I couldn't very well see you girls do that!"

I heard a loud "toc" and figured Lady was playing billard. "What are you talking about? I've already seen him naked many times before. Sure, it was a while ago, but remember that I was once his lover. And Trish was too. We wouldn't care about seeing him naked again. And beside, it'd just be business matter." I heard another "toc" and I was sure the kid was speechless because of embarrassment. "Oh yeah, Patty, I heard you've been quite popular with the boys your age, lately."

"Meh, they're all acting like little boys, it's annoying," said the girl.

"I thought you liked them younger. At least, that's what Dante told me you said to him when you first met."

"I don't want to date an old man, but I don't want to have to babysit the one I'm going out with either."

"Were you aware that men usually liked their partners younger than them? It'll be quite hard for you to find a younger man who'd be interested in you."

"No way. The boys at school are always saying older women are better because they have more experience. Those interested in that, anyway. And Nero likes Dante, who's older than him by a good decade."

I couldn't keep quiet at that. "Hey, I'm not that old, you little pest," I growled, opening an eye to glare at her where she sat on my desk. I felt Nero stiffen again under me and briefly wondered if I should stay the way I was or sit up. After some consideration, he wasn't uncomfortable at all as a pillow. So I decided to stay like that.

Patty raised an eyebrow at me, then looked at Nero. "How old are you, Nero?", she asked.

"Um... I've just turned twenty-one last month...", he replied tensely.

Lady struck another ball and straightened up with a thoughtful look. "If I count correctly, you're actually right, Patty. He's past thirty. But he's half-demon so it doesn't count the same as it does with us three humans," she said, giving me one of those "I caught you there, idiot" looks of hers that never failed to anger me.

I huffed in outrage but didn't budge from my position. "Yeah, so what if I'm considered an old man by human standards? I'll outlive you all anyway, and I may just as well outlive your children, if you have any," I told them, not seriously thinking about it. After all, it was another painful thought. I would outlive all my friends. Well, except Trish, but still...

"Don't take it that way, Dante! You'll make Nero sad," teased Lady, smirking at us.

I felt the kid jump in surprise. "Me! Why would I be sad!", he countered, a little panicked.

At that moment, the doors opened wide and Trish rolled in with her motorcycle before turning the engine off. "Alright, people, I'm back with the food," she said, getting off and shutting the doors. She then turned to look at me and nodded. "Good, you're awake. I've bought your favourite, but it's only because only a few hours ago, you were still pale as the dead. And it's cheap. As for the others... Pasta for Lady, ramen for Patty, chicken for me and... pizza without peppers for Nero." She dropped two extra-large boxes of pizza in front of us as I sat up beside the kid and Lady sat on the other side of me, while Trish and Patty took the other side of the sofa, and she distributed the other meals. As I opened the box on top, I almost smiled as I saw it had neither olives nor peppers.

Lady arched an eyebrow at that. "I thought without olives was for Dante and without peppers was for Nero...", she commented.

The kid blushed beside me and I immediately figured he had been the one to order the pizzas. Trish also looked puzzled. "Yeah, I thought so, too...", she said, before glancing at us and understanding right away. "But at least now it explains why Nero insisted on eating pizza too although he's bound to only eat that as long as he'll stay with Dante..."

I shrugged. "I don't only eat pizzas. When I was on that luxuous boat with Lady, Patty and Morrisson, I didn't order any and I didn't complain."

The small blonde huffed. "Yeah, but that's because you can't eat pizza on a grand casino boat full of rich people and stay unnoticed," she countered easily, slurping her ramen.

"The only time he played cards decently, too," added Lady.

"Okay, so I eat lots of pizza and I lose often at games and bets. But you can't say I'm such a bad guy all over," I said, trying to defend myself some.

Trish giggled. "Yeah, you make women feel so safe they end up considering you a big brother and/or a bodyguard. Or the perfect boyfriend, but they don't want to date you exactly because you seem too perfect."

Patty looked up from her bowl of ramen. "I disagree on that point. He's too lazy and aloof. And he's not refined at all."

"Don't you get it?", said Lady. "That's exactly what they like about him: the bad boy air about him. But although there's that air about him, he's also full of mystery, he's never mean to women and he has that build that doesn't overwhelm them, but makes them feel safe. And his looks aren't bad either. Those women don't know him as well as we do, and I'm sure if you really think about just the first impression he gives to people who see him when he's not out battling devils, you'll see exactly what I mean."

"And he's a romantic at heart, the type they think they can expect a red rose from. Because a bouquet of flowers tends to get in the way and tells of feelings that may be too strong to be really deep. While a single red rose is just enough to ignite a woman's heart," added Trish. "It's not too passionate to be only the spark of the moment, but it does show genuine interest."

The girl's eyes were shining as she drank in the knowledge as if it was really water and not simply words. "You both know so much about it!", she squealed, before calming down and adopting a curious look. "Say, how was it for you both to date him?"

Lady thought about it for a moment as she put her empty plate on the coffee table. "Well... The sex wasn't lacking, that's for sure. But you've lived with him yourself, Patty. You know how boring he can be when he puts his mind into doing nothing for weeks on end. But the real reason why it didn't work out was that he didn't have any passion, his mind was always fixed on someone else. But it was to be expected, since it was right after he lost his brother."

Trish nodded. "Yes, his mind was always somewhere else. Just like now. Though it's true the sex was neither lacking nor bad."

"Very good, even," confirmed Lady.

Nero was blushing deeply beside me, but I didn't mind then talking about that. It stroked my ego in the right way. "Please, girls, could you change the subject?", he asked meekly.

Trish giggled. "Alright, then tell Dante what you found when you went down there with Lady."

The kid nodded, getting serious again. We had all finished eating and I sank comfortably where I sat. "Okay. Well, first off, we went to check on the lamia you killed in the room with the seal, and it just so happened it was a male one," he started off.

I stiffened upon hearing that. The lamia are demons with a human-looking upper body, and instead of legs they have a snake-like lower body. Female lamia are the most common, and they can take a take the appearance of a human and it's a real pain in the ass to get rid of them because they can also separate into thousands of little snakes. As for the male ones... they're pretty rare for some reason or another, but I did know there had to be one hell of a good reason for him to be without a swarm of females. I had heard tales of people finding such creatures and disappearing without a trace along with the lamia. Since the old fart who had owned that shop hadn't been dead for long, I could easily guess what had been the liquid in those crates. Male lamia spit was rumoured to be the equivalent of a shot of adrenaline to demons. For those who survived it, at least. And it was a deadly poison to humans. No wonder I had passed out and my Devil Trigger had taken control. Male Lamia spit is somewhat the equivalent of cum, though it is secreted all over the reptile part of their body while they sleep, or when they get in heat, once every two or three years. Female Lamia can't do that. It also explained the disgusting sounds I had heard down there in the basement.

"Judging by the amount of spit, he was in heat, and I believe that is what killed the shop keeper," said Lady. "He mustn't have been there more than two years. Also, we found corpses of females. Apparently, some did try to get to him, but they got killed for some reason. My guess is either he killed them, or the person he was in love with did it."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "'The person he was in love with'? What the hell do you mean?"

"We figured it was the most probable solution since it seems he didn't care about the females either way and he stayed in the basement willingly. We also checked the sales books in the back room and it was just as we had guessed after seeing it was a male lamia: the shop keeper was selling the lamia spit for a good dough, though we couldn't figure if it was demons who bought it or humans. One thing is for certain, there was someone else living there with the shop keeper. Tell him your theory, Nero," answered Lady.

I turned to the kid beside me. I had the feeling I wouldn't like what he was about to tell me. "I figured the shop keeper was the one who erased your brother's name, and he was the one living there, most probably the one the lamia was in love with. I checked the part of the floor through which you fell, and found out it wasn't where the wood was in its worse conditions. Everywhere else supported my weight and Lady's without any problem. Which means it was probably the lamia which made you fall." Yeah, now that I thought about it, I remembered that lamia could climb walls and hang from ceilings without any problem. Real pests. "He was also probably the one who forced you to think about your brother, though he was pretty young and probably mistook you for him. When I found you, you were passed out against him and completely covered in spit. It had even started dissolving your clothes."

He stopped abruptly as if he had wanted to continue but at the same time he didn't want to. I knew what he wanted to say. He had thought I was dead. Trish's words came back to me, from when I had woken up on her thighs. When she told me he had been really worried about me. Okay, so maybe he was really serious about it and his sincerity was starting to get to me, but I've never really been one to refuse when someone came to me, just like I've never held them back when they left. Suddenly, I felt very tired.

And it must have shown, for Lady put a hand on my back. "Hey, you look pale again. Maybe you should go to bed to rest some more. We'll tidy up and leave in a while, alright?", she said with a kind smile.

I nodded without a word, stood up and climbed the stairs. When I finally made it to my room, I undressed completely before falling face first on my bed and falling asleep.

* * *

I woke to a feeling of heaviness and discomfort. I had dreamt of the last time I had seen my brother, again, though this time it had been followed by fictional images of him being tortured and having his name stolen, calling out for me to help him. I knew it wasn't real, for he would never call out for help, and even less to me. Which was really what made me uneasy. In that dream, there had been a striped cat smiling at me with a sadistic glint in its golden eyes. Another disturbing reference to Alice in Wonderland. And as I opened my eyes to look at the ceiling of my room, the voice of the weird phone call came back to echo in my head. What had it meant by the rabbit's hole? I really didn't get it, but I knew it had to do with stuff that had happened in the past. I knew it did, though I still couldn't piece it back together, that event I couldn't remember had something to do with my brother. That was another certitude. Otherwise, why would it haunt my mind like that? I jumped in surprise as I felt something twitching on my stomach and looked down, almost expecting to see a white rabbit, but sighing as I saw it was only Nero's Devil Bringer. Although I was naked and he seemed to be too, though I couldn't really know since he was under the blanket with me, I knew nothing had happened between us. Lady, Trish and Patty had probably teamed up to force him to lay down in the same bed as me. I pushed him aside softly and crept over him since I had been on the side of the wall. When finally I stood bare in the morning light shining though my window, I glared down at my morning erection. Of course, although I had had a horrible vision in my sleep, this body part of mine couldn't help but react to the sight of my brother.

I sighed as I passed a hand through my hair and went to grab a pair of pants out of my wardrobe. I also grabbed my boots and jumped down the stairs directly in front of the sofa. Yep, I felt way better than before. All that spit must have been evacuated from my body over the night and it was a damn good thing. I went into the bathroom and opened the water so it would be hot, and stepped in the bath. I stood there, getting soaked and sighing in content as the heat delightfully hurt my skin. I let my Devil Trigger activate a little, as it had already been somewhat ticklish since my waking, and started jerking off almost violently. The feeling of my demon blood working to heal my skin even as the water continued to burn it slowly, the feeling of my power rising yet being kept in check though barely, the feeling of my claws on the sensitive skin of my backside, the memory of my twin bending over me from behind... I bit back a growl as it all contributed to building my desire up. My eyes almost rolled back in my head as I tasted the blood from my cut lip and I purred blissfully as I sped up my pace. I came with a groan of satisfaction and licked at the blood staining my left hand, then noticed that something wasn't right. I couldn't hear the water and I felt the presence of two demonic forces, one being upstairs and probably belonging to the kid, the other in the bathroom with me. I shut the water off and cursed myself for not thinking of bringing at least one of my guns with me, although I knew I could probably handle whatever had sneaked up on me long enough to get to my weapons. As I turned around to look at the bathroom, I saw the demon which had dared to step foot in my shop. It was a lean young man, completely naked, with violet striped pink cat ears and tail. He smiled at me from where he sat on the wall, and somehow his name came to my mind without any effort.

"The Cheshire Cat, I presume?", I said, stepping out of the bath and keeping alert for when he would attack.

The boy's smile stretched further and became eerie as it went all the way to his cheekbones. "My, the cat sure ain't got your tongue, huh? Oh, silly me, I'M the cat," he drawled, or should I say almost purred. He put his hands on the wall and jumped to the floor, all graceful and visibly light as a feather, his body so lean it was androgynous and should he have appeared to me clothed, I would surely have wondered if it wasn't a girl I had before me. But his voice, though slightly high pitched, and what was between his legs couldn't be anything but male. "You don't recognize me, do you? Or don't you remember my phone call? It's true that little, wonderful device tends to alter my voice, but here I am, son of Sparda. Do you want to know what goes on down the rabbit hole? You've already had a taste of it, but the snake had just escaped and had been kept by a puppet."

I didn't budge as he approached me, circling around me as his tail caressed slightly my upper thighs. He was a head smaller than me and I couldn't feel much power emanating from him, but I knew he was no bottomfeeder. Bottomfeeders are brainless and all look alike, yet I had never seen a demon like him. "What business do you have with me, kitty cat?", I asked him, crossing my arms and glaring at him as he stopped in front of me.

His creepy smile was still in place. "Oh, nothing much really. Just wanted to see what you looked like. Nice muscles. And I love that magnum you've got down there. Bet you've never seen someone like me. I'm unique. Or am I?", he said, as he seemed to split in two and suddenly there stood two of him in front of me. I arched an eyebrow and he disappeared while laughing, the both of him, and reappeared alone near the bath tub. He leaned down and gathered some blood that hadn't yet washed away and licked it off his fingers. "This tastes good... But I'm sure you'd like to know what goes on down in the rabbit's hole..."

A dangerous glint shone in his eyes, but then I turned around abruptly as the bathroom door flung open. Nero stood there, surprised, and when I looked around, I saw that the cat was gone, and the water was again splashing the tub with its usual noise. I was starting to get annoyed, what with that stupid cat playing with my life like that... I passed a hand through my still dripping wet hair and looked back at the kid. "What is it?", I asked him, as if I wasn't just standing there stark naked and seen an insane demon.

"Uh... I felt your power rising and thought I felt another demon down here with you, so...", he said, looking away. He had his pants on, though they weren't zipped or buttoned, and his Devil Bringer was twitching just as it had been the other time I had taken a shower.

I heard the cat's voice whispering in my ear suddenly. "That one can't resist the pheromones you secrete," it said, visibly hilarious. Pheromones? I didn't understand what it was saying. "When you play with this magnum of yours, of course, silly." I felt soft fur brushing against my belly and shivered. Yeah, now it was clear. After all, Nero himself was human, but his right arm was the arm of a demon.

I sighed as closed the water and went to get a towel. "Don't worry about it. It was nothing much. I can take care of myself," I told the kid as I dried myself. I then threw the towel in a corner to put my pants and boots on and I left the bathroom. "Get ready 'cause I'm taking you out for breakfast."

Nero arched an eyebrow at me as I opened a wardrobe and took out the red coat I always wore when I first opened my shop. "Out? Where?", he asked as he headed for the stairs, probably to go grab the rest of his clothes.

I smiled as I shook my old coat free of the little of dust that had accumulated over it and shrugged it on like I usually did back then. "That's a secret, but I can guarantee that it'll be way more friendly than that reeking old shop we went last time we went out. Oh, and if you plan on taking Red Queen with you, I suggest you find a way not to look too suspicious with it 'cause it'll be full of civilians over there," I told him, jumping upstairs to go fetch my twin guns.

Nero didn't voice any comment and just followed me in the room, where he proceeded to finish dressing up. After I put Ebony and Ivory in their holsters on my back, I went to my room's wardrobe and took out the guitar case in which I still kept Nevan. A smile tugged at my lips as I watched the kid struggle with one of his boots as he tried hurrying up. I felt good, for some reason. But that didn't mean I'd change my mind just to please everyone. I've never been the kind of person to comply to people's wishes just because they said it'd be better that way. I said I wouldn't take my relationship with the kid beyond that of work partner, and I'd keep my word. I was just stubborn like that. Nothing Lady or Trish could say or do would change my mind. When he was finally done, I led him outside and followed a path I had often trekked years before, when I was taking care of Patty part-time. As I entered the diner with the kid still in tow, I waved in greeting at the master and sat on one of the stools, putting Nevan down beside me as Nero sat on a stool near me.

The master finished his conversation with some of the patrons and walked over with a smirk. "Well, well. I was wondering when you'd show up again, Dante. How long has it been?", he asked. "You'll take your usual, I suppose?"

I smirked back at him. "Yeah, the usual. And it's been at least three years. Does Cindy still work here?"

"Yeah, she does. What'll it be for you, young man?", he asked, turning to Nero.

The kid stared at me. "What's this 'usual' of yours?", he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I turned my smirk to him. "Strawberry sundae, of course. Only thing I'll gladly eat, besides pizza. I've been living off of that for the last decade or two."

"That, and tomato juice," snickered the master good-heartedly.

I pouted, obviously going along with the flow. I was in a really good mood and I had missed this place. "Aw, come on. It's always better than having me drunk day in and day out, isn't it?"

Nero smiled. "Well then, I'll take the same as him," he told the master.

The old guy nodded, then went to work on our sundaes. "Cindy's not in at the moment 'cause she's pregnant," he explained. "Otherwise she'd probably be all over you for bringing such a young man with you."

One of my eyebrows ticked at that. Did I catch him meaning right? "She's still with the same guy, right? I'm surprised they're not married yet. Or is she still keeping herself open in case someone better comes around?"

"No, nothing like that. I get the feeling they've thought about marriage, but you know how the younger ones are these days..."

"Hey, I'm not that old, you know," I retorted.

"You're certainly older than this young man who escorts you."

"He's not an escort, he's my partner. And I'm still younger than you, old man."

"Partner, huh? You must have made some women weep with that," he commented, giving us our sundaes.

I frowned. So I really had been right. "Take it whichever way suits you best, I'm not gonna waste my time trying to prove a point you fail to see. Put those on my tab, I'll pay you when I next get paid. You know the drill," I told him, deciding I'd better ignore him and picking up the spoon to start eating.

The master laughed, but didn't add anything and simply went away to attend to other matters. Looking to the side, I saw Nero starting to eat in silence, apparently having missed nothing of my conversation, but keeping his comments to himself. I chuckled softly and also started eating away at my sundae. The kid gave me a questioning look, but I simply shook my head as a sign that we'd talk afterwards. When we were done, we left the diner and walked in the streets back in the direction of the shop.

Nero was watching me as he walked at my side. "Will you tell me now why you laughed?", he asked.

I smirked at him. "Nothing in particular. I was just wondering what you were thinking while you listened to my conversation, and I thought of something funny that happened in that place some years ago," I told him, crossing my arms behind my head.

The kid looked down at his feet a moment. "Well, I was thinking that you usually don't talk much with people."

I looked at him sideways with a raised eyebrow, a little surprised. "What are you talking about? I'm always talking a lot with the girls and Morrisson and even that stupid Enzo when I was meeting him."

He looked back at me with. "Enzo? Who's that? I know of Morrisson from what Patty told me of when she was with you, but I've never heard of the other guy."

I chuckled. "Of course you haven't. I stopped doing business with him just before the whole Temen-Ni-Gru affair. He was one drunkard, Italian asshole I'd never deal with again. The fucker used up all the pains on alcohol before I even got back from the jobs, more often than not. And the jobs he got me were usually pretty shitty or questionable. There was even one time I had to find a lost kid, though I don't recall that one clearly," I told him as we got back in the shop.

I froze as soon as the door closed behind us. Someone was there, probably some demon, too. I motioned for him to stay quiet, to which he nodded and also got into fighting stance. I reached behind me to grab the case and unzipped it to free Nevan. I could tell the kid was perplexed by my choice of weapon, but a guitar in a guitar case was less suspicious when you get caught unwillingly than a sword in the same case. I could feel her getting excited at the idea of finally being used again to fight some demon or another after all those years. Ah, yes, that encounter had been something pretty good back then. She was just the type of woman I liked, who knows exactly how you think and exactly how to act and what to say to get along with it. Unlike two evil women I knew who insisted on sending most of their clothing bills to me under the pretext that I never made them any present. Accusation to which I defend myself by rightfully reminding them that if they'd stop, maybe then I'd give them gifts. Patty had understood that quickly enough. I jumped in surprise as a grin appeared in midair right in front of me. That's right, only teeth making one heck of a smile.

But I knew that smile and I sighed as I half relaxed. "So it's you, kitty cat. I had wondered where you had run off to," I said, putting my free hand on my hip.

The grin turned upside-down and a giant, purple striped pink cat appeared gradually around the grin. He was a cat, that was for sure, though all lean and gracious even if he was the size of a grown Border Collie. Or maybe a Shetland Shepherd... I really wasn't that good with dog species... "How do the humans say this... oh yeah! Welcome home, son of Sparda! I really wish you would give me another nickname, you know. I've grown quite fond of you and I think I might just adopt you. I see you're starting to remember. Say, you still haven't told me if you wanted to know what goes on down the rabbit's hole. You mind feeding me? I'm starving."

I felt Nero getting uneasy behind me. "Dante, what's that thing hovering two meters above the ground?", he asked.

I went to my desk and put Nevan against it before plopping down in my chair and putting my feet on my desk. "My new cat, it looks like. More precisely, he's the Cheshire Cat. You know, from Alice in Wonderland. You can guess it right away at the way he talks and by his appearance."

The kid jumped in surprise as the cat disappeared and reappeared right beside him in the blink of an eye, though this time in his human appearance. "Are you really going to keep it?"

I crossed my arms behind my head as I leaned back, ready to take a nap. "Why not? I think he's interesting. Although I have my doubts as to whether he'll be a good house cat or not, so far he hasn't proven to be any threat at all. So I say, if he's to try and kill me, might as well keep an eye on him instead of kicking him out and then chasing him when I have to. And I'm interested in that Alice in Wonderland business which reminds me of something I can't quite recall."

Suddenly, I felt weight on my stomach and since I was only on two legs of my chair, it almost made me fall back, but I managed to regain my balance in time and looked down at the fur ball there watching me with its two yellow eyes. "Is it nap time? I love nap time! I'll be a good cat. Can I eat something? What are you going to call me now that you're MY master? Can I nap on your stomach? Will you scratch behind my ears? I'm hungry! Will you give me a collar? Who is that person standing there? Is he going to nap with us? I like him too! Are you his mate? What is there to eat?"

I sighed in frustration. Okay, so maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all to keep him. I hate when other people have a bigger mouth than me. But nonetheless, I couldn't deny I really did find him interesting. And I never did have a pet before. "That guy over there is Nero, my partner, not my mate. Yes, it is nap time, but he will do whatever he wants to do as long as it doesn't bother me. Now move from my stomach or I'll think about letting you starve to death. What do critters like you eat, anyway? Milk?"

Nero sighed as he relaxed and started in the direction of the kitchen. "No milk for grown cats, it can give them diarrhea and I don't think you want that. Rather, they're carnivorous," he said as he searched through my kitchen for... something.

I raised an eyebrow as the cat got off of me. "How do you know so much about cats?", I asked him.

"I once had a cat, and Kyrie loved them," he said, from the back of the kitchen. I heard the sound of a can being opened and smelled tuna. I opened my eyes in surprise and turned in his direction as he came out of the kitchen. "Now, the cat has been fed, though I suggest you start investing in fish, meat or cat food. What next?"

I stayed silent as I pondered which one was cheaper, though I really had no idea how much cat food or canned fish cost... I'd have to go and see. Then again, I could ask the kitty cat what he preferred and just buy that, as I did with myself. Yeah, I'd probably do that. I closed my eyes again, relaxing in my chair. "Well, now it's nap time. Do you really have to ask?"

I heard his clothes shifting a little and figured he had shrugged, then heard him go and plop down on the sofa, apparently complying to my lifestyle. A little later, I felt the cat come onto my desk and curl up near my feet, but I didn't move otherwise than to give him a little more space. I fell asleep quite easily and in my sleep I was back to the time before I fought Mundus, before my brother messed up with the Temen-Ni-Gru, before my mother was killed. He had always been fond of books and back then I would sit beside him on his bed, shoulder to shoulder, our heads against the other, and he'd read me books. Mom had taken great care into making sure we would be able to get by on our own, teaching us how to read, how to write, to count and calculate, and everything she thought would be useful. We hadn't yet been old enough for her to entrust the preparation of the meals to us, but we often aided her and stood nearby to watch. Our father had already, back then, disappeared a long time ago and no amount of nagging would make mom tell us if she even knew if he was still alive or why he left. In my vision, the book my twin was holding as we sat there was Alice in Wonderland. We had always been quite mature for our age, but for some reason that book is the only one I remember from the countless ones my brother read to me. I've never read a book after Mundus's attack. How I loved that time spent with my brother... Every day, he would read to me and no one would bother us... and when we grew older and he decided to try taking our relationship further, we had often done it while he was reading to me, to try and avoid mom's suspicions. I never did find out if she had seen through our act or not, but if she had, it hadn't bothered her. I closed my eyes as I simply listened to the sound of his voice, knowing full well this wasn't real. It couldn't be real. I couldn't even whisper his name, even in this vision I saw in my sleep. As I continued listening to the sound of his voice instead of the words he was saying, I noticed our surroundings beginning to change.

"_There's no 'wonder' mood at all. This is a chilled out wonderland."_

I heard my voice say, though I hadn't been the one to talk. My twin's bed suddenly got surrounded by darkness, which gradually got replaced my the inside of some kind of manor. I looked around, my heart beating faster by the minute and my head starting to hurt like hell. I didn't like this. I didn't like this one bit, but I couldn't move the rest of my body. Looking down, I saw my brother and I were both being retrained by the legs of a giant spider. Suddenly, I heard a gunshot and the spider's legs left us.

"_Sorry. I hate spiders. They've too many legs."_

My voice again. I could almost remember the time I had said that, but it was as if something was preventing me from really remembering. I cried out as my brother suddenly vanished.

"_It's a tea party! It's a tea party! Tea party! Tea made of blood... A scone made of bone... We can have a tea party! We can have a tea party!"_

Cried gleeful voices all around me. The pain in my head was getting unbearable, I was starting to panic for no apparent reason and I was starting to hurt the same as when I thought about my brother too much on top of that. Couldn't I just wake the fuck up!

"_Even though he's a freak of nature himself. His scone won't be g-good. A-Alice's is better after all. It's white, soft and h-high quality. If it is b-bad quality our t-tea party would have been w-wasted."_

Alice! Why the fuck did that fucking name remind him of more than just the damn book! Why couldn't I remember! Why was my brother mixed up in all this! I closed my eyes tightly and grabbed at my hair with both hands.

"_You showed up."_

I froze, my eyes wide upon the stone floor as the rain pelted down on me. I looked up, dropping my hands at my sides and staring wide-eyed at my brother, though I couldn't see him clearly, unlike the real scene that had happened years before. The moon was hidden by the dark clouds and there was neither any torches or lights or even lightning to give us light. I suddenly noticed that Rebellion had appeared in my hand and as he lunged at me, it was all I could do to block the blow that would otherwise have been very painful, though my instincts were more to thank for than my quickness of reaction. My mind was still frozen. We were locked like that, our blades pressed together and making sparks, then he turned his wrist and Rebellion flew out of my hand, and he stabbed me in the stomach with Yamato. I gasped as my body was racked in pain. Not just physical pain, but emotional one. My old wound that had never closed up was made fresh again and I gasped, suddenly unable to draw breath. He grabbed the back of my neck to keep me standing a little longer, taking his face nearer to mine, brushing his lips teasingly against mine...

"_Why do you refuse to gain power? The power of our father Sparda?"_

I shivered in excitement and agony as he turned his sword a little and breathed against my ear.

"You always were the weakest of us both, my dear brother."

I woke up in a sweat and hands upon my shoulders kept me against the floor. I was frantic, I felt sick, I hurt all over and I had difficulty breathing for some reason. The one holding me down kept saying something over and over, as another figure just stood aside, motionless. I suddenly recognized Nero, as he kept calling my name, saying it's alright and it's over and it was just a nightmare. I calmed down slightly, recognizing the kitty cat in his human form behind the kid, visibly really worried. Yes, it had just been a vision in my sleep. An awful vision, true, but a simple vision nonetheless. Dreams and the like cannot harm you directly. As I started breathing correctly, I pushed the kid aside, got up and stumbled to the bathroom, not even bothering closing the door all the way. I needed to throw up and some real pain. Some good, real life pain on my physical body. I opened the hot water of the shower, undressed completely and stepped in the bath, hissing as the scalding water hit my skin. Yes, I was alive, I was real. What had just happened hadn't been real. It had been... how had my brother put it again...? Oh yeah, a projection mixing souvenirs, fears and/or hopes for the future. Nothing more. A scene my brain had come up with of its own accord. As I stood under the water, my skin getting burned faster than it was getting healed, gradually calming down, I could feel my power building up and my Devil Trigger becoming ticklish because of the healing the demon blood in me was doing. My nails became claws and I could feel myself changing slowly. I clawed at my chest, revelling at the fact that my whole skin hurt so much the fact that I was breaking it didn't even hurt. It even felt good. I turned the water to freezing cold and growled at the sudden change of temperature, hurting myself even more as I started shivering from the cold. I felt good. It hurt so good. My head was empty of any and every thought and no image came to me. I could almost say I was at peace, even as I could feel my consciousness slipping away. Hands grabbed me, warm hands, and pulled me out of the bath. The water stopped somewhere in the distance. I didn't resist at all when a towel was wrapped around me and I was taken away, then up some stairs and finally put down on what I guessed to be my bed. I vaguely thought about the fact that I would have to wash the bed sheets since all my dead skin would fall on it as I healed from my burns. I stayed motionless for many minutes, gladly letting myself stay in this thoughtless state. When I opened my eyes again, once I was almost finished healing and I could feel again, I saw Nero with a worried and sad expression.

"What happened, Dante?", he asked softly. "Why did you do that to yourself?"

"Physical damage helps to forget emotional and psychological damage, and it also heals way faster. It's the only solution I found to stay sane after all these years," I answered, uncaring that this was the first whole truth I had told about this case. "I told you about the last time I had sex, right? Well this is the same, except I don't have to find a sadist who won't kill me or try to keep me. Not that he'd succeed, anyway, but you get my drift."

"What kind of trauma do you have that you have to hurt yourself this much to forget for a little while?"

"The loss of my twin brother."

Nero stayed silent a moment, probably turning the information in his head to examine it under every possible aspect. Of course he knew I had lost my brother, since he had his sword. And if he hadn't fully known it, he must have gotten one hell of a good idea of it. But to him it probably just was the loss of a family member, which in itself is quite a hard blow. But we were not only talking about a brother here, we were talking about my twin brother, my other half. The being who was meant to be one but ended up being two. The two sides of the same coin, the dough and the tomato sauce on a pizza. We were meant to be together, though opposed, for the whole of our lives. Yet I had lost him four times. The first when Mundus attacked our house and killed our mother. The second when he fell off that cliff in the demon world after the Temen-Ni-Gru episode. The third when Nelo Angelo dropped his amulet. And the fourth when I had found that diagram under that fucking shop. My brother had been taken from me those four times. I had suffered the loss of the other half of my soul those four times. When I was younger, I hadn't really cared. I had truly resented my brother for betraying my own ideals, but now that I was older, I understood that it had been meant to happen. If I was good, he was bound to be bad. Just like I took more after our mother's human side and he took more after our father's demon side. I saved the world, not the humans as they are, and made sure to protect the fragile balance between light and dark while he could care less about other and had always stayed true to the one thing you could be certain about a devil's character: lust for power. Always more power. And the power of our father, the Legendary Dark Knight Sparda, the one who had single-handedly protected the human world from demon invasion, who had killed the Kind of the demon world. The power which still lay dormant in the depths of the demon world ever since it had been sealed there when our father closed the doors to the demon world for good. I didn't care for power all that much. I was already powerful enough without seeking to become stronger. My strength along kept me running in my escapades and world rescue and that was all I wanted. Though it had been the opposite with my brother. I still couldn't really understand why he would even want such power since he was already mightily powerful as he had been back then.

The kid's voice interrupted my train of thought. "This isn't like you, Dante. The Dante who fought me back in Fortuna wouldn't get this down and suicidal over something like that. If you don't want to tell me, there's nothing I can do to force you into saying it, but I'd like you to at least let me comfort you a little," he said, and I saw his cheeks coloring themselves as he looked away, most probably embarrassed by the words that had left his mouth.

He was sitting beside me on the bed, as I lay, naked, under the covers. I could feel them on my sensitive skin. Again, I noticed that his Devil Bringer was twitching, even as it rested on his knee. "I don't want to have sex with you, kid. I thought I already said that before, and I'm the kind of stubborn guy who very rarely changes his mind," I told him, my voice low, but with an edge I had almost forgotten. The kind of edge I always used in my younger days, although I was far from old. The kind of edge I kind of lost over time after my brother let himself fall off that cliff.

Nero's eyes shifted back to me with surprise, and his lips twitched into a small smile. I could almost tell what his mind was thinking. I knew he'd be ready to talk about it over and over again if it contributed to making me feel better. If it could bring back the cockiness and recklessness that I had somehow lost, what he had really loved about me and missed the most. Oh, I knew what his kind was and why it hadn't worked out with his girl. What he needed in his relationship was challenge and action, he didn't want it easy, but he wanted whole-heartedness. His little doll back in Fortuna wouldn't have been able to tame the wild side in him that had woken up with all that had happened, no chance in hell. She was too soft, too vanilla. To him, I was the spiciness you feel on the back of the tongue after eating a slice of pizza, before you drink something to cool it down. But that wasn't all of me and that was exactly what had attracted him to me, what had made him leave his little lost town of Fortuna, where he didn't feel fortunate at all anymore. Yet in his expression I could read the disappointment of being turned down. He wanted me, but he knew he could never force me. I was stronger, more experienced, and above all he didn't want to hurt me, at least not enough that I'd cringe. He was too much of a nice guy. Had I been in his position, in another state of mind as the desperate one my twin's disappearance had left me in, I'd have punched the lights out of the fucker refusing me.

The light in his eyes dimmed after a short moment and once more, he looked down and away. "Why are you refusing with such vigor? Do I repulse you? Is it something I've done?", he asked me quietly over the silence reigning in the shop.

"If you repulsed me, you'd already be dead. And if it was something you did, I'd have kicked your ass back to Fortuna myself way before now. I just don't want to do it, kid. By the way, what's the cat doing? It doesn't feel right for the shop to be this quiet," I said, changing the subject. Because I couldn't quite explain why I didn't want him, even to myself. But I had a right just to not want to, didn't I?

His Devil Bringer clenched into a fist and he stood up, avoiding to look in my direction. "Seems like he found some paint and canvases. He's downstairs painting who-knows-what that's going on in his crazed little head. Oh, and while you were out, I went and bought him some food," he said bitterly, starting to walk towards the door.

This didn't feel right. Something was amiss. And although I couldn't put my finger on what it could possibly be, I felt like I had to tell him something, anything, before he stepped out of my room, or something terrible would happen. The same kind of feeling that had taken hold of me when I defeated my brother down in the demon world and he had started inching towards the edge... "Don't you dare go disappearing on your own, kid," I growled, anger suddenly flaring up in me at the thought of losing someone else. I somehow felt like his older brother, for fuck's sake, and it was suddenly stirring things in me that were too painful to recall, but they stirred nonetheless and it hurt. Fuck it hurt and I wanted it to go away, but upon seeing that small light in the depths of his eyes when he stopped and looked at me over his shoulder, I knew physical pain wouldn't cut it anymore. If I hurt myself even more, I'd lose him. I'd lose him and he'd never come back. For the first time since I met him, I realized I needed him. "Don't you dare leave me all alone. I may not be willing for _'us'_ to be more than friends and business partners, but I'm sane enough to know I'd rather kill myself than be left alone once again."

I hadn't realised it before then, but his mere presence was mending my shattered heart, little by little. I know, it's really cliché, right? Yet the look he sent at me upon hearing those words... I can't exactly put it into words, but it was like a balm over my bleeding wounds. A miraculous effect all that physical pain had never done to me before. I wasn't alone, and it felt good to know it. Fuck, dude... I'm talking like a love-struck woman here, but it really felt like the presence of your best friend after you broke up with that one girl you would have bought the moon for. Just his mere presence at your side, with or without the alcohol, helps you feel better. Or maybe like chocolate to a sad chick. Yeah, that's it. That's what he was to me at that moment: the one thing that kept me together. If words had been spoken after that, it would have ruined it for me. But he didn't say anything, came back to the bed and lay down beside me, and for the first time in forever, I slept like the dead, a dreamless, but refreshing sleep. Oh, sorry, visionless. Because like I said, I don't dream because I don't give a fuck about the future. And it was proven even more true then, as he watched me fall asleep, since I didn't want the present to change into the future or the past. Yeah, I can get pretty cheesy at times. My brother often complained about it. About the cuddling, the whole holding hands thing, little pecks on the lips when in public and nobody's looking. All that cute stuff kids do when they think they're in love. My twin brother was always the rougher, more lustful one, and although I must admit I liked it back then when he took me raw, I liked it to be slow sometimes too. Maybe... that's exactly the reason why he decided to end it. One of the reasons why he calls me weak. But is it really being weak, putting your life into someone else's hands and expecting them to do the same? Okay, yeah, maybe I spent too much time around those three evil women...


	2. Chapter 2

It is true that after having admitted a whole truth to the kid back then, I felt much better and had a visionless sleep. Most of my bitterness had left me and I felt, for the first time in what seemed like forever, at peace. Both with myself and what had happened to my family. I didn't dwell on it much back then, but it was kind of strange to feel so much at ease, when my twin brother, the one person I ever held dearest to my heart almost more than my beloved mother, could be in dire need. After all, he had had his name stolen from him and who knew what state his mind was in after what he had endured upon our last separation, in the demon world. And _what_ indeed. I really couldn't fathom what he could have been forced to go through. Yet I laid there, naked, unarmed, unguarded, beside the kid. Never once did it register in my mind that just then, a demon, or a hoard of demons for that matter, could have attacked the shop while I was so defenseless and I could easily have been killed as I fell deeply asleep like a trusting child, ruining everything I had ever done, putting my dear friends in great danger. For although it was true they could take care of themselves and they were far from weak, I was still the strongest, and my death could mean the end of the world. I'm not trying to brag or anything, I'm serious. I'm really afraid that should anything happen to me, something terrible will also happen to them afterwards. But this fear only developed fully in me much, much later. Back then, I was blissfully (frighteningly) unaware of any such fear. I had found a haven of peace where old wounds only throbbed, where I could have hope of being whole once more. It was that kind of feeling that made me fall asleep then, as Nero laid down beside me and I felt him timidly draping an arm over me. When I woke, many hours later, just before the first rays of the sun started illuminating the skies, I felt good. Not the same type of "good" as after having massacred legions of demons and having almost bathed in their blood, no. Not even the same type of good as after a good lay. It felt like the kinder, saner, tamer type of "good" that you feel like it will last for the rest of your life, or at least a couple of days. A bit like the "good" in "and they lived happily ever after". I felt good and I was in a good mood, but I was also starving as if I hadn't had anything to eat in days. Which was really kind of weird since I knew I had eaten the day before. But oh well! I got up and put on some pants before leaving the room with Sleeping Nero, and let me add that this particular thought always makes me snicker, quietly waiting for the waking "first kiss of true love". I was about to go down the stairs when I suddenly noticed something strange about my pants. Then I heard a laugh and felt... my pants moving about my legs, becoming furry. I sighed.

"Kitty, why did you take the look of my pants? You were perfectly fine as a cat," I said, crossing my arms and looking down at the kitty cat as he regained his true colors and started changing back to his human shape.

He looked up as me with his mischievous golden eyes. "But it was lonely to stay downstairs by my lonely little self! I wanna play! Will you give me some food? Is the other still asleep? Play with me! I painted a lot during the night, it was quite fun! I'm hungry! Are you planning to go down the stairs without any clothes? Do you want to see what I painted? Why do you always wear clothes? What kinda game did you play with the other? I want to be able to sleep with you too! Why is the other living with you? Will you call pizza again? Is he your mate? Can I have a taste?"

I sighed a little and went back to the room to pick up other pants. "I wear clothes because that's what humans do. You're a cat, you wouldn't understand. Also, Nero would scold me if I gave you a taste of pizza. I don't think cats are supposed to eat that. And the kid isn't my mate. He's my partner," I answered as I put on some pants that were lying on the floor. I frowned as I got a different feeling from these pants. All my pants were the same, so why were these ones feeling weird? Oh well, probably just my imagination.

The kitty cat followed me as I went down the corridor towards the stairs. "Too bad I'm a cat, then. Why do you say that? Partner? I'd really have loved a taste... You're not even human! It looks like it tastes good. I'm sure you'll be surprised by what I painted! Isn't that the same thing?"

I stopped at the top of the staircase and frowned at him. Talking to him proved to be pretty confusing, since it was like having four or five conversations at once. I'd probably have shot him if he wasn't so damn cute. Then again, I probably had a soft spot for cats without knowing. After all, I had never had one before him, so how could I know? But his way of talking was starting to get on my nerves, even if I really did find him interesting. How could any normal person keep up a conversation with him without losing his mind? One had to separate every sentence and regroup them up so that there aren't two sentences on the same subject that follow one another! How the hell did the kitty manage to talk like that so easily!

"I can't follow everything you just said, Kitty. I know it might be rude, but are you missing a few cogs in that pretty little head of yours?", I asked him, crossing my arms.

He looked a moment puzzled, then the mischievous glint came back to his eyes and his lips stretched in that unearthly smile of his. He started disappearing from the feet up, until only his smile stayed visible, his eyes disappearing last. I saw it literally turn upside-down counterclockwise, then pass through the ceiling. Weird cat, really, that Cheshire. Why was he called the Cheshire cat, anyway? I never did got hold of that knowledge. But oh well. He asked me to give him a new name, and I decided to simply call him Kitty Cat. Which reminds me of my reconciliation with Lady. Which ended up in being why she now calls herself Lady, if I piece it up together... As I turned back around and trudged down the stairs, I wondered how the two evil women would react upon meeting my "pet". The thought made me snicker and I looked up as something caught my eye. My jaw dropped at what I saw on the far wall. There was a big hole in it and I could see the alleyway beside the shop through that hole. I ran to it, and realised something was off with that hole. As I stood directly before it, I felt the kitty putting his elbows on my shoulders.

"Didn't I tell you you'd be surprised when you saw what I painted?", he simply whispered in my ear, visibly pleased with himself.

I ran a hand on the (in fact) intact wall. I was astonished at the details. "Impressive, Kitty. Very impressive. And you did this in just one night?"

"I knew you would like it! I'm a good kitty right? I found it a bit empty without any decorations other than those demonic trophies. Will you pet me to praise me? Let's take a nap later! I love being petted! I can paint almost anything! I want to sleep curled up on your stomach! Do you have something you want me to paint on your walls? It's the warmest place on the human-looking bodies! Could I have paper and canvases, too? I love naps! Let's eat something!", he exclaimed, passing over my head and hanging upside-down in mid-air right in front of me. How did he always manage to do that? Wait, I rather not know. With his way of talking, he'd make a really sucky teacher.

"Calm down, calm down. And come down, too. Not nice to hover in front of someone who can't do it. I'll call for pizza and give you some food while we wait, alright?", I asked him as I walked over to my desk.

"Then I'll go wake up the other so he won't skip breakfast!", he cheered as he landed on the wooden floor without a single sound. Well, he _was_ a cat, after all, even if he had somewhat of a human body.

Just before he ran off to go wake the kid, I held up my hand as a sign for him to wait a little. "Hey, Kitty, why do you call him "the other"?" Well, I was intrigued about that, since he visibly didn't hate him, but he didn't call him by his name or anything.

He cocked his head to the side, probably not understanding my point or deeper meaning. "Because you are the master and you said he wasn't your mate, but that you needed him anyway. I don't hate him or anything. The master is the most important. I actually appreciate him quite a bit. The other is just someone who's also living here. But I like the master much better. He isn't quite important to me."

I raised an eyebrow, but didn't comment on that. Instead, I motioned for him to go on and wake the kid. I picked up the phone and dialed the pizzeria's number and ordered four. Just as I was putting the phone back on its stand, the kitty cat jumped down the stairs and onto my back. I growled in warning, then tried to shrug him off. When that didn't work, I tried prying his arms from around my neck. I didn't quite get why he was being so sticky, but it was getting on my nerves. I didn't like to show my back, to anybody. And I liked it even less when someone (or something) I didn't entirely trust was in immediate reach of my back. After all, I still didn't know _why_ the kitty came to me. He could very well double-cross me, even if I was really starting to like having him as a pet. And he hadn't even been living with me for twenty-four hours. Then I heard Nero's voice from above.

The kid was in his underwear and scratching his head as he came to the top of the staircase, glancing behind him in puzzlement. "Hey, Dante. Have you seen my pants? I'm sure I was still wearing them when I fell asleep, but they seem to have disap... peared...", his gaze had shifted to me as he had been talking and suddenly he grew quiet. Then a frown showed itself on his face. "Why are you wearing _my_ pants?"

I looked down at the garment covering my lower body with understanding. Well, it explained why they had felt weird when I put them on... "Seems our little Kitty felt like playing pranks last night...", I simply commented as I shrugged.

I suddenly felt the weight around my neck disappear. And suddenly there was mad laughter echoing in the room and cool air around my legs... I didn't even have to look down to know what had happened, as I saw pants floating up and towards the ceiling. That cat didn't just have a few screws loose in his head... he was utterly mad. And seemed to like seeing me utterly naked a little bit too much. I sighed as Nero jumped, caught his pants, landed a few feet away from me and put them on, while trying to avoid looking at me. There was a knock at the door just as I was about to say something, and both Nero and I froze.

Nero then coughed a little. "You should hurry upstairs to put something on. I'll take care of the pizza," he told me.

I nodded absently and rapidly made my way up the stairs to find one of _my_ pairs of pants.

* * *

I shivered as I felt Dante's hot skin brush past me, but tried to not do anything to indicate the sensation really had taken place. He could say anything he wanted as excuses not to sleep with me, but I really _wanted_ him. And seeing him naked sauntering naked like that was almost too much of a temptation. Almost. But I didn't want to force him, not only because he would overpower me and make me regret it since he was Dante and I knew that's exactly how he would react, but also because it wasn't just sexual desire I felt for him. I didn't just want his body. I wanted his heart, his soul, everything that makes him purely and invitingly Dante. I wanted to know everything about him, to feel that overwhelming power entwine with mine, to be the one to soothe his back while he cries, or simply be the first one to see his tears. I wanted to whisper sweet nothing in his ear, feel his claws on my back and hips, his teeth in my neck, his breath on my skin... I was addicted to him without even having had a taste. That's how bad I needed him. I had started wanting him way before even considering leaving Kyrie. She noticed my longing for him before I did, and her rejecting me just showed me she wasn't really the one meant for me. It made me become aware of this addiction. My skin still tickles every time I think about the contacts of our bodies when we fought. That's what plagued my mind every time I went and had a wank. I couldn't keep my mind away from his incredibly blue eyes, his immaculate hair, his toned muscles... The body of a living Apollo as some would say. And it was within my range and out of reach at the same time. His refusal to give in to me just put more wood to the fire of my passion. But I was inexperienced, so I didn't know how to do it with a man either way. I always thought men who liked men were perverts who wanted to fuck every male in sight, but I could now see how wrong I was. I wanted to have him, and I wanted him to have me too. My body literally ached for it. But I forced my eyes to concentrate on the door as he went upstairs to put some pants on. Seeing him in my own was somewhat of a turn on, but nothing equaled his totally naked body. Shaking my head to try and take those ideas out of my head to concentrate on the task at hand, I went and opened the door, after having made sure he was out of sight.

The usual delivery boy stood there, holding two pizzas. "I put it on the usual tab?", he asked boredly.

I nodded as I took the boxes and opened one of them. I frowned upon spotting olives. I switched them and looked in the other one only to see it also had olives. What the heck was that about? Dante hated those things and he had been the one making the call, so he couldn't have forgotten. Then was this one of those methods he had talked about that they sometime used to pressure him into paying? I couldn't be sure without asking.

So I looked back up at the boy with a deep frown upon my face. "Are you sure this is what was ordered?", I asked him, trying to stay polite. "Aren't they supposed to be without olives?"

The boy took out a small recorder and pushed the "play" button. The tape started and I could hear a female voice asking for the address, then the order. "Two large pizzas, without peppers," said Dante's voice clearly. The female asked if he was sure, if they should put out the olives too. "Nah, don't worry about it," replied the half-devil's voice.

"That guy already tried swindling us, so we took the habit of recording all the orders, especially his. Now if you'll excuse me," said the boy, before turning back on his heels and going away.

I closed the door after he was gone and put the boxes on the coffee table before sitting down. Something was off. Then again, maybe he was just trying to be gentlemanly with the lady and would take off the olives once the slice of pizza was in front of him. Yeah, that was probably it. I sat down as I heard him coming back. He jumped down the stairs and joined me on the couch.

He stretched lazily and raised an eyebrow at me. "What took so long at the door?", he asked me.

I shrugged as I opened the box on the top and took a slice. "Nothing much. Don't worry about it," I answered him.

I kept an eye intently on him as he himself reached into the box and picked a slice. He licked his lips hungrily, then took a bite. I was rather astonished, but then as he chewed, his face changed from glee to a frown and he opened his mouth and picked out... a piece of half-chewed olive. He looked at it as if it was some kind of alien, visibly puzzled.

"This thing tastes awful. Why the fuck is it on my pizza?", he demanded, clearly outraged.

I arched an eyebrow at him. "Well, of course, since why else would you always ask for there not to be olives?", I demanded him, chowing away at my own slice, seeing as I didn't mind olives.

"Olives?", he asked, dumb-founded.

This time, I lowered my hand, and frowned at him. "Well, yeah. But this time you didn't tell them not to put any. I thought it was weird... wait, did you forget to ask them? You must be going senile to forget your own tastes!", I teased him.

But he kept quiet a moment as his gaze stayed on his slice of pizza. Then when he finally raised his voice again, I realized this was no laughing matter. "I really had no idea."

This was wrong. No, wait, _way_ beyond wrong. If there was one thing Dante knew everything of, it was himself. It was a known fact for everyone that he was a bit of a narcissist, and his standards were pretty high, even more so when it came to stuff concerning himself in body, mind, or tastes. All his pants looked the same, all his coats were similar, he never drastically changed his haircut, he always ate the same stuff in the same manner from the same places. He had his own fighting style and god forgive anyone who tried copying him and got caught at it by him. For him to forget from out of nowhere that he loathed olives... I had made fun of his age because he was older than me and always calling me "kid", but this was another matter altogether. But then again, maybe he had just been forgetful, or distracted by the Cheshire cat. I didn't want to start worrying for such a small matter as olives on pizzas. Yet after three days of doing nothing and seeing him have the same reaction because he, once again, forgot to tell them not to put olives, I took matters into my own hands and made it my job to call the pizzeria. I also noticed in those three days that he didn't jack off, unlike what he did every day. Which was a good thing, because every time he had done that, my Devil bringer had reacted to his excited scent spreading in the whole shop despite the walls. Or maybe it was the enticing power waves that were emanated from him when he masturbated. Either way, it was making my Devil Bringer react and I had feared it would betray me and cope a feel, or even force him down by itself to molest him. At least now I didn't have to worry about that. But on the morning of the fourth day, I came down the stairs to the sight of him sitting properly at his office and petting the pink-and-purple cat curled up on his thighs. I called his name as I came a bit nearer, so as to get his attention, but he didn't react. I called again three or four times, without much more results, until I screamed his name at him. That seemed to wake him up.

He looked up at me. "Oh, right, that's me. What is it?"

No "kid", no "don't shout at me this early in the morning", nothing. Now I was starting to worry. So after the breakfast, I forced him to dress up and we took off to some random bar while the cat stayed at the shop. Just as I suspected, we got attacked almost instantly by a group of female demons. As I feared, his fighting spirit wasn't at its top, he lacked his usual cocky attitude and he mostly just swinged Rebellion around. Maybe I should have started worrying when he forgot he hated olives after all. When we got back to the shop, I took up the phone and called Trish to tell her what was happening. Dante just flopped down on the couch as the cat went and cuddled with him when he let himself fall to the side.

"Nero, talk clearly. What's going on for you to call me like that? Something happened to Dante?", she asked me, a little out of breath.

I tried calming my panic. "Trish, I have no idea what's going on. First he forgot he hated olives, and now he's got difficulties remembering his own name and fighting styles. Shit, the cat would have been more helpful down in that bar!", I said in a harsh whisper, trying not to get Dante's attention.

"Wait, cat? What are you talking about?", she asked, clearly missing the main point.

"Yeah, Dante somehow decided to adopt the Cheshire cat or whatever when he came sauntering and that cat's been hanging around ever since. Now listen to me! He's forgetting stuff! Important stuff! I've got no idea what's going on or even how this happened!"

"Nero, calm down. It won't do anything good if you panic. Unfortunately, Lady and I are a day's trip away from the Devil may Cry right now. Let me just talk to her about it and I'll call you back to tell you what we think is going on, alright? Just relax."

"How do you want me to relax?"

"Just do it! While you wait, you can try coaxing him to see what he has forgotten. Just ask him random questions about what you know of him until I call back. Try making him remember stuff, too."

And she hung up. She fucking cut me off! I growled in frustration as I slammed the phone back in place, then grabbed at my hair and tried breathing deeply and slowly to calm myself. Until I felt arms around my waist. Oh, I hadn't been prepared for _that_. I ignored the shiver that ran up my spine upon Dante's smell hitting my nostrils. Those big, muscled arms couldn't belong to the cat, anyway. Ok, so maybe I had somewhat of a muscle fetish, but damn did that six pack feel wonderful against my back. I suppressed another shiver as I felt his breath against my ear.

He ran his tongue along the shell of my ear slowly. "What are you doing over there?", he whispered huskily.

A keening sound almost made it past my lips as I felt my pants getting tighter and my Devil Bringer start twitching. I unconsciously leaned back against him and felt as unmistakable bulge against my ass. Had the bastard forgotten his inhibitions too? "Dante, don't do this...", I whispered, my voice refusing to work. I'm sure it would have been very convincing, anyway... But I knew he didn't really want this. He had rejected me enough times for me to know that for certain. It was only because something was wrong with him that he was coming on to me like that. Nothing more. I felt tears of frustration and dejection try to spring to my eyes, but I fought them.

I felt his lips move to my neck, then his teeth started nibbling at the skin there. "I'm not doing anything. Besides, don't you want this too?", he asked, one of his hands wandering to the front of my pants and unzipping them.

"Yes, yes, I want this very much, there's no denying that," I growled between my teeth, half trying to fight his hands off, but failing miserably. "But you aren't yourself, because _you_ don't want it. You wouldn't do this if you were ok, which you are not. So let go of me before we do something we'll both regret."

I moaned as he started rubbing me gently with one hand and fumbling with the button with the other. "What are you talking about?" I groaned as he pressed his erection a bit more against my ass. "I want this _very_ much."

I gripped one on his arms tightly with my Devil Bringer as he took my own penis out of my pants, while my other hand went in his hair. I had to come up with an excuse, and _fast_. "Trish is supposed to call back any minute, we can't do this now, Dante."

I yelped when he slammed me down on top of his desk and pushed the phone off. "I have no idea what you're talking about, babe, but I'm not stopping now. You're way too sexy."

I always did like his cocky way of speaking. And I knew I couldn't stop him if he really put his mind into doing me. Don't blame me for turning around then and kissing him like mad, back then. I really couldn't hold back anymore. And so I gladly let him take off my pants, and I even helped him take his off. Fuck the boots and shirts and coats and holsters. All that was needed was for one of my boots to go, and the guns stayed where they were. He took me raw, and it hurt like hell, but at the same time it was so good, especially when he big into my shoulder to calm himself a little. We stayed motionless for a while, my Devil Bringer clawing at his back as the pain slowly started to recede. It wasn't the pain that made me ecstatic, let me just make that clear. I'm not and I never was a masochist. It was the simple fact of _finally_ being joined with him intimately. It was nothing romantic or beautiful, when he finally started pumping his hips. There was only raw passion, and the sound of his heated breath on the bleeding skin of my shoulder as his name flowed from my lips like a mantra, with every thrust he made. The pleasure was building, soon overpowering the pain, and before long we reached our climax. His name didn't slip from my lips, and out of his came a soft "brother". Just as I was blacking out, I felt tears fall from my eyes. I had finally understood what had happened to him. He had had his name erased, along with all his memories, and the last one to be erased wasn't of me. That had been two real painful blows. The fact that I hadn't thought that the person who had erased his brother's name could erase his next... I really hadn't seen it coming. But what hurt perhaps even more, was that it hadn't been me he had seen there, under him, but his twin brother...

* * *

I woke to an overwhelming feeling of uneasiness. As if everything surrounding me was wrong, alien. I slowly opened my eyes. I was lying on a wooden floor that was rather dusty. Didn't anybody ever clean in here? I slowly sat up and tried to remember where I was and what had happened. Some leather pants were pooled around my knees, but they seemed as unfamiliar as they seemed familiar. I didn't know the boots at my feet either, but it was obvious they fit me perfectly. Then again, those hands I saw in these fingerless black leather gloves gave off the same contradicting feeling as everything else. I got up sluggishly and tugged my pants, for they must have been mine even if I couldn't remember them, back on. I looked at the guy sleeping on the big wooden desk sitting in the middle of the room and noticed that one of the legs of his pants had been taken off. I had no idea what had happened, but I felt like I knew this guy, even if I was sure I had never seen him before. And his hair was a pristine white despite the fact that he was visibly pretty young. Talk about weird. I stared blankly at the other furnishings in the room – the jukebox, the battery, the coffee table, the red velvet couch – with the same feeling of uneasiness. This room didn't feel right. I marched towards a door that was half-open and entered that room. It was apparently a bathroom. I went to the sink, opened the cold water and splashed some on my face, before freezing as my eyes caught sight of my reflection in the mirror. Who the fuck was that! White hair like that young man back in the other room, but longer, bright blue eyes, smooth, pale skin... That couldn't be me! I was...! I was... Wait, what did I really look like? Mirrors couldn't lie about major things like colors. This had to be me, reflected in the glass, right? I yelped in surprise as I felt something brush my hand and took many steps back, staring wildly at the culprit. It was a cute, naked kid with pink hair, cat ears and a cat tail. Really weird. He was looking at me with his wild, golden eyes, his head bent a little to one side, his tail swishing back and forth. What was going on! Where was I! What had happened to me? WHO was I!

"Are you ok, master?", he asked timidly, one of his ears twitching as rustling came from the other room. "You look like a rabbit in a fox's den." A groan came from the other room and the cat-kid turned his head in that direction. "It seems like the other has finished his nap, too! Let's play!"

There was more rustling as I stayed quiet, trying to register what was happening, since I had no idea what _had_ happened. After a while, the young man I had seen on the desk stepped in the room and his eyes fixed on me. They were pretty red, as if he had cried a lot. "Hey," he whispered, his expression sad.

It almost broke my heart to keep looking at him, but I was really freaked out and I had difficulties just _thinking_. "Who are you? Where am I?", I asked him.

His face fell even more if that was possible, and he carefully walked over to me, before gently putting his head against my shoulder. "I'm sorry I didn't notice earlier... I'm so sorry..."

I took hold of his shoulders and forced his to back off at arms' length. "Wait a second. What's happening here? Answer me, dammit!"

I heard the front doors burst open. "Nero! Nero!", called a female voice.

The young man took my hand and tugged me out of the bathroom. I noticed in passing that the cat-kid had disappeared. I didn't even see or hear him leave the room! When we got back to what I assumed was the main room, two women were standing there. One had long, blond hair and sunglasses, while the other was almost dressed like a school girl, if it wasn't for all those guns strapped to her thighs. They both opened their eyes wide upon seeing me, but I let the younger guy lead me to them. I felt I could trust him.

"I'm sure you already figured everything out...", he said, his voice breaking with overwhelming sadness. How a young man that old, for he certainly didn't seem like much of a kid, could look so cute and vulnerable, I had no idea.

The two women nodded while they kept their gazes on me. "Yeah, his name was erased too," said the blonde. "Unfortunately, we can't do anything to reverse the process unless we find the circle that was used to erase it."

"We decided to come here when the phone kept ringing occupied," said the brunette as she went over and sat on the couch. "We passed by the old shop on our way. The other circle was taken elsewhere."

"What do you mean, 'taken elsewhere'?", asked the young man beside me.

"I mean exactly that. Someone cut the rock on which the circle had been drawn and placed it somewhere else," answered the brunette. "You look like shit, kid. What happened between when you phoned Trish and the time we got here?"

"I'd rather not talk about it right now," he answered, looking down. "Is there a way to find them again?"

"None," answered the blonde, shrugging.

The cat-kid appeared suddenly out of thin air right in front of us. I jumped in surprise, and the two women put their hands to their weapons, but the guy beside me motioned for them to calm down. "This is the cat I talked to you about on the phone. The Cheshire cat, more precisely, even if he really only called him 'Kitty Cat', I'm sure you know his great naming skills."

Even if no name was spoken, I somehow knew he was talking about me. The cat-kid jumped up and down happily, a freakish grin spreading from one cheekbone to the other firmly planted on his nonetheless adorable face. "I know where they were taken! I know! I can paint really well! They were taken down the rabbit's hole! I showed the master! I'm hungry, let's eat! I wanna play! I painted that hole over there, but it's not the same hole the rabbit dug long ago. Let's take a nap later! I want some more of that cat food the other bought! I love taking naps! I want to paint on canvases, too! The Queen ordered for them to be taken down there! Will you pet me? I can show you! I will purr if you pet me, I promise!", he said happily.

Cute kid, but a real nut case. The two women looked at each other, then back at the cat, and at the guy beside me. "Don't ask, he's been talking like that since the beginning," said the guy.

"Alright... that's kinda weird, but let's do that. Kitty! Paint wonderland for us on these very walls! Show us where they have taken the two circles! In exchange, I'll give you some tuna, ok?", said the brunette, smiling at the kid. "Me and Trish will go out and get you some, along with canvases. Do you need anything else?"

"Paint! A bed for me! Lots and lots of paint! Yay, tuna! I don't have anywhere to sleep when master and the other sleep together in the bed upstairs. What is tuna? I can paint almost anything! I've never tasted tuna before. You'll be proud of what I'll paint! Does it taste good? Will you pet me and let me cuddle you? The master and the other played together and they didn't even play with me! I love cuddling!"

At that moment, the phone rang, startling everyone. The brunette was the first to recover. She went to it and answered. "Devil May Cry," she said. A frown appeared slowly onto her face. "He can't right now. Something happened and you'll have to do without him for a while until we manage to solve the problem." I also frowned, feeling as though she was talking about me. I can't what? What happened exactly? "We? Trish, Nero and me. Yeah, as long as at least one of us can stay behind to keep an eye on him." Why did they need to keep an eye on me? "Ok, I'll tell them. We'll be over there in about an hour." Them she ended the phone call and turned to the four of us. "It was Morrison. We've got an urgent mission at the south edge of town. But I think you'll both agree that we can't leave him alone in here, in case of an attack."

Attack? As in heart attack or something? No, it didn't seem plausible. They all seemed too tough and rough to be medics. This situation was really starting to get on my nerves.

"You go, I'll stay behind. I think it wouldn't be wise to do this any other way, and Nero, you need some distraction," said the blonde softly. The other two nodded in agreement.

They both headed towards the door, but on the threshold, the brunette turned around to look at the cat-kid. "Hey, Kitty, I'll bring you back some paint, canvases and tuna on our way back. Alright? But you gotta promise me you'll start painting right away and you won't stop unless you're finished or you run out of paint."

The kid nodded with a huge smile that eerily stretched to both his cheekbones. "Aye, aye! Captain!" After which he disappeared, and reappeared near the walls with paint and a paint brush in his hands, already deep in concentration.

The brunette left with that other guy, closing the double doors behind them. The blonde went to sit on the couch and motioned for me to join her. Which I did. I sat an about an arm's length from her. Seeing that, she reached out and forcefully tugged me down so that my head laid on her thighs. Somehow, I knew I was supposed to like that, but I really just felt very uncomfortable. I tried to sit back up, but she forced me to stay down.

"Stay like that, please. It makes me feel a little better," she said, her tone soft with what I guessed was sadness.

I frowned, deciding to do as she said and forcing myself to relax in this strange position. "What's going on?"

She stayed silent a moment, before her fingers went into my hair and she started playing with it. That, too, felt weird. "Tell me what you know and remember."

"I don't know anything and all I remember is that I woke up on the floor with my pants around my knees and that other guy with his pants mostly off, sprawled on the desk. I don't even remember what I look like, what my name is, where this place is. I don't know or remember anything. I can't even remember any of your names right after to say them."

She stayed silent another moment as her fingers continued playing in my hair. "I'll tell you everything, though I have no idea if you'll be able to remember any of it. You're a half-demon. Your father was a great and powerful demon, and your mother was a human that looked exactly like me. Your name has been erased. That means nobody can say it even if they try really hard. It also means, since you're half-demon, that you cannot remember anything about yourself and what you knew, and that your powers have dropped to close to none. You are still able to move and live because you're also half-human, but that's about it. Your twin brother, who also had his name erased, is probably being controlled by the person who erased his name, and it's probably only a matter of time before they come looking for you so that they can also control you. I have no idea how they'll proceed, so if you feel like doing something, tell me beforehand because they could be already getting into your mind to control it."

It was my turn to keep silent a few seconds as I tried taking in everything she said. As she had suspected, already most of her words were lost to me by the time she had said them and the whole just seemed to me like a jumble of nonsense. "That's the most gruesome story I've ever heard. But it seems I really can't do anything but trust you since I already don't remember the majority of what you said."

"What does it feel like to not remember anything like that?"

I thought about the question a moment, but decided to say the words as they came to me, for fear that I wouldn't say everything and the whole would be incoherent. I already didn't trust myself. "Well... At first, everything seemed somewhat familiar, but weird at the same time. But now, everything's just strange and out of place. What is even more disturbing, though, is that I don't remember who I am, or even who the people around me are. I'm sure this position is supposed to seem familiar to me, but all I feel is discomfort. I don't know how I considered that cat-kid before, but now I think he's just a bit cute and REALLY creepy. He's a total nut case, too. I know I should feel something towards you or that brunette, but I don't feel anything at all. I don't even know what that other guy is supposed to be to me!"

"He's in love with you."

I froze, as if she had hit me real hard in the stomach. My breath had been knocked out of me by these words and I had no idea why.

"But you always refused him, no matter what. Probably because you considered it wouldn't be fair to him since the number one in your heart has always been your brother."

I tried forcing my lungs to work again and managed to take a small, shaky breath before they blocked again. I grabbed at my throat, starting to panic. What was happening to me?

"Last night, as you had completely forgotten your own inhibitions, you took him. At least that's what I think happened."

I suddenly felt very sick to my stomach, but also very faint. I was hot and cold at the same time all over, and I was seeing black spots trying to take over my vision, probably from the lack of oxygen. It was strange, but suddenly the fingers in my hair felt good and I could think clearly. My heart ached, too, and even though I knew I would die soon if this continued, I felt like the thoughts of myself, the real me, started to come back. But then I rolled over, fell to the floor and started heaving. I puked up some black, gelatinous liquid. After I was done, I looked back up at where the blonde still sat and, to my utter horror, I saw myself still there, with my head on her thighs, my eyes lifeless and lost in the vague as her fingers continued playing in my hair. I started to feel them too, from where I was haunched over on the floor, and suddenly I heard a deep, rumbling voice in my ear.

"I'm sure you'd like to know what goes on down the rabbit's hole."

I came back to myself with a start, my body covered in sweat and my breathing ragged. I was back on the couch, my head on the blonde's thighs. She froze in surprise as I coughed, my lungs finally functioning correctly. What had that been? What had just happened? I looked down near her feet, but I didn't see any black, gelatinous substance on the floor. Had what I had just seen and felt been a dream? Or maybe an hallucination? I really didn't know.

"Are you ok? What just happened?", asked the blonde, obviously worried.

"I have no idea," I told her frankly as I tried relaxing once again, bewildered.

The cat-kid was suddenly crouching right in front of us with a weird, serious look on his face. "He just got a communication from Wonderland," he said gravely.

"Communication from Wonderland?", asked the blonde.

"Yeah, the people in Wonderland can communicate directly with some individuals in this world, taking them in a somewhat alternate reality and then telling their message. To other people, either that person stopped moving or doing anything for many seconds, either they just froze for a fraction of a second in what should have been a fluid motion. But to the person, either they moved, saw themselves where they had been a moment before and they returned there with the blink of an eye, either they thought they had done their movement, but realized they really hadn't. That's what happened to him the first time I communicated with him. I used the phone when somebody else called, and he had to answer the phone again after having talked to me," said the cat-kid, looking up at the blonde.

"Why don't you talk like that more often?", she asked, surprised.

"Talk like what? When are they going to come back? I'm starving! I don't understand what you're trying to say. I wanna be petted too! What is tuna?"

The blonde sighed, pulled me off her thighs, stood up, forced me to lay back down and walked to the kitchen, followed by the cat-kid. Communication from Wonderland? Somehow, that word rang bells in the back of my mind. But some kind of exhaustion rapidly took over me and before the blonde ever came out of the kitchen, I sank into a deep, dreamless sleep.

* * *

I sighed as we stepped out of Devil May Cry. Lady looked at me a moment in silence, but her eyes said it all. "Are you gonna be alright?" Alright? How can I be alright when everything is so fucked up? _He_ lost his name, right after his twin brother, and I never saw it coming. I just stood by, trying to accommodate him as he lost every day a little bit more of himself, until he finally forgot himself entirely. The bitter-sweet memory of him taking me was making pleasurable chills run up and down my spine, but my heart was broken by my own uselessness. Even though it never left his lips, I knew it was his brother's name he said upon his climax. It just had to be. It couldn't be me. After all, how many times had he pushed me away when I tried getting closer to him? I had been weirded out when he suddenly changed his mind, but also thrilled. I had thought that maybe he really did have some desire for me somewhere deep down. How could I have been more wrong? I'm too naive. I've always been. I should have told the girls sooner. I should have tried to make him remember. I should have jumped down there when the floor gave out under him. I'm an idiot. This unrequited love will be the death of me.

"Nero, get your mind out of the gutter. At least he's alive and in our hands, not in theirs. We'll think of something. We'll find a way to bring him back to the way he was before," said Lady as she walked over to her motorcycle.

I followed her. "You don't understand. He said _his_ name. I didn't hear it, because it has been erased and no one can say it, but I know he said it. It wasn't me he saw then, it was _him_."

I flinched as her hand collided with my face. "I said to get your mind out of the gutter! You're not making this any easier, even for Trish and me. In case it slipped out of your mind, your so-called rival has been missing for over a decade. That prick wasn't there when he needed him the most, he never was. You don't seem to understand they got off fighting each other until one of them collapsed. And since they are half-demon, the both of them, a lot of blood has to flow to make them even a little faint, and they never hold back. It wasn't a healthy relationship. Meanwhile, what wrong have you done to him? None. You came to his aid even though he never asked you and you were there when he needed you the most. Imagine what could have happened if you hadn't been there upon the final stage of name-stealing. We would probably have lost him for good. So now get your head up and let's get this mission over with as fast as possible, ok?"

"Yeah, you're right..."

"Of course I'm right!"

* * *

I woke to a completely different feeling than when my head was on the blonde's thighs. It was a comfortable feeling, although maybe a bit alien. My head was lying on a hot pillow that I figured was someone else's lap. My chest felt a little stuffy and my back hurt for some reason. I opened my eyes slowly and blinked a couple of times to try and clear my blurry vision. There was no sound around me, and everything seemed dark and colorless.

From a distance, I heard the echo of a voice. "Let's stop this fucked up relationship and just be brothers. I told mother, anyway, so you that you won't try anything silly. Being lovers didn't work out as I thought it would and now I'm just sick of it. Go fuck some women if you've still got too much of a sexual appetite for your hand to handle." I felt great pain from the back of my head for some reason, even though I didn't know this voice.

"But -!" I frowned as I heard that second voice. There should have been a name there instead of that silence. "-! Why? I thought we made a great couple!" There should have been a name there.

"Don't be such a crybaby, -." The name was missing there too. What's going on? "You always were way too involved in this relationship anyway. You're too clingy, too romantic. We're demons, for fuck's sake, not little human girls!" Something wasn't right. Who were these people talking?

"Just explain to me, -! I want to understand why even though you were the one who proposed we started this, you're the one who wants to end it!" Why did this guy sound so much like me?

"Just shut up, already! I'm fed up with it, and that's all there is to it. Now get off of me before I get violent on you."

An ugly, misshapen face appeared in front of me. I had seen this guy before. _"Even though he's a freak of nature himself. His scone won't be g-good. A-Alice's is better after all. It's white, soft and h-high quality. If it is b-bad quality our t-tea party would have been w-wasted."_

I felt hands probing at my flesh, hands so cold they seemed to burn my skin, but I couldn't move. Then the face disappeared and was replaced by another, though this time it seemed like some sort of giant stuffed rabbit with glasses. _"That's right. I wanted to take a look at Sparda's descendant."_

Sparda? I didn't understand at all. Who was this Sparda? Who were all those people talking? I didn't get it at all. But just as I was wondering about that, I felt myself falling. I cried out in surprise, sure the fall would kill me even if I couldn't see a thing now. But then I hit what seemed to be a wooden floor. I opened my eyes in a hurry, gasping for breath, disoriented. Where was this? What had happened? I stood up hastily and looked around myself, starting to panic. What was I doing in a bedroom? Where was this place? I noticed the young man sleeping in the covers of the bed then and froze. Who was this guy? I flinched in surprise as he shifted in his sleep. I had to admit that whoever he was, he was kind of cute, sleeping all defenselessly like that. But it still creeped me out to realize I had been sleeping on the same bed as he, although it was obviously too small for two grown men, before having fallen to the floor. I scratched the back of my head, grabbed the first pair of pants I saw and put it on. For some reason that action seemed awfully familiar. But I had been under the covers, NAKED, with another man! And I didn't even know him! Silently, I left the room and closed the door behind me. I looked around, before walking down the corridor in the direction of a half-closed door. I opened it and saw some stairs going down. I took them, but then tripped over something I hadn't seen and fell down the rest of the way. I hit my head on the floor at the bottom and winced in pain as my vision swam. I rubbed my head while sitting up. I couldn't see a thing in this darkness. Well, it is true the sun had not yet risen. I froze as I noticed a shadow right in front of me. I quickly got back on my feet, ready to defend myself, but then noticed the shadow hadn't moved. I got closer to it, and froze when what I saw got clearer. There stood a man. A man in a long, blue coat, with gelled back white hair and icy blue eyes. Suddenly, I couldn't think. My whole being froze. I knew this man. He was a _part of myself_, my _other half_. I had no idea how I knew. A name rung in my ears, but at the same time I couldn't quite make it out. Everything was confused in my head, and I had a feeling some great malice, hatred and danger was attached to this man. Panic constricted my lungs and a great lump formed in my throat. I tripped in my own feet as I tried taking a step back and landed on my butt on the cold hard wood of the floor. A scream finally made its way out of my chest and tore through the night. Two women and the young man from upstairs appeared almost instantly, but I didn't really see them. My eyes were kept prisoner of this other man still standing there and _looking_ at me with that superior gaze of his. Everything went black around me and I lost consciousness. It was all too much for me. When I came to again, I was laying on my back on the sofa, and my head rested on the young man's thighs. At first I didn't recall what had happened, but then my eyes moved to the ceiling, where was depicted a purple sky with pink clouds and a black sun.

The young man bent down a little, probably to take a better look at me. "Is everything alright?", he asked quietly.

I had no idea why he was asking that question. So I didn't answer him. I simply stared blankly at him, before looking to the side at the rest of the room. A cat-kid was eating something out of an opened can, two women were looking more closely at the painting that covered all the walls along with the ceiling. There was a garden with red roses, a great castle, and some king of great, misshapen statue with what seemed like two identical diagrams for eyes. Great canvases were placed here and there, and a bed sheet had been thrown over one standing at the bottom of the stairs. On each canvas was painted someone. There was what seemed to be a queen in a red dress decorated with hearts, playing cards with faces, arms and legs, a white rabbit, and the other I couldn't see because they weren't facing this way.

"Kitty painted all this over the last three days, while you were sleeping. You really startled us last night when you suddenly started screaming, you know," he murmured. For some reason, I heard some great hurt in his voice. But I didn't really care. He was a stranger to me, after all.

I sat up and continued looking at the painted scenery around me. It all seemed somewhat familiar. The two women turned my way when they heard me sitting up and rushed over. "Are you alright?", asked the blonde.

"What is all this?", I asked, still staring.

"Wonderland. Or more precisely, the place where what was used to erase your name and that of your brother were taken," replied the brunette, motioning to the beast with the diagram-eyes.

"More or less," added the cat-kid around a mouthful. "Tuna is good! The master frightened me last night! The Queen of Hearts has ordered for them to be taken to her. It took a lot of time to paint all that! I was sleeping on the desk when the master fell down the stairs, then screamed. I love tuna! The Queen is not a good person. I haven't seen myself where they were taken. The master is a lot more gentle. I was exhausted! She beheads anyone who doesn't obey her how she wants."

"Yeah, well, all in all, now we've got to find a way there. At least now we know where to start looking once we actually _get_ there," growled the brunette as she turned to look at the best again.

"You just have to go down the rabbit's hole," said the cat-kid.

"And exactly where is that damn rabbit's hole you keep talking about? You say that's what we gotta find first, but you never say where it is!", raged the brunette as she turned to glare at the cat-kid.

Wonderland? Rabbit's hole? What the heck was going on? Had I stumbled into a madhouse or something!

"You gotta follow the white rabbit. He knows where it is."

The brunette took the canvas where a white rabbit was painted. I suddenly noticed the rabbit actually wore a vest and was holding a watch. "This rabbit here?"

"Yeah! That's not the real thing, of course."

"Of course I know that. But how do we find this white rabbit?"

"He already knows where you are."

A tense silence fell over the room. It was all a little bit too much for me to understand, so I plopped back down and rested my head on the young man's thighs once again. He seemed startled, but I felt like sleeping and no one would get in the way of some well-deserved nap. Without another thought, I closed my eyes and went back to sleep. I think I had a vision in my sleep.

I saw... two young boys, a white-haired, dignified father and a beautiful mother with long blond hair. The boys were running around, fighting each other with sticks, under the attentive gaze of their smiling parents. I knew these people, yet at the same time I had no idea who they were. The father suddenly disappeared in a cloud of light dust, carried away on some ethereal wind I couldn't feel. The look on the mother's face changed from pride and happiness to worry and fear. She went to her boys, her lips moving as though she was talking to them, but I couldn't hear a sound. I felt some great shadow looming overhead and shivered involuntarily. I blinked, and when my eyes opened, I was inside some cupboard with the doors opened a crack. I tried to voice my surprise, but movement on my right caught my eye. One of the young boys was crouching there, trembling like a leaf. He was motioning for me to keep silent. He could see me? He pointed towards the crack from where faint light came. I leaned forward a little in order to look through it, and froze upon seeing the blonde woman being butchered by some demon. _Mundus_. Its name came to the tip of my tongue, but I kept it in. I had to keep the boy's hiding place a secret. I turned my head around to look at him, and saw that he was crying, hands pressed tightly to his ears. He was so familiar. Oh, so familiar... Yet something was preventing me from remembering from whence I knew him. And where was his brother? Fear crept into my guts as I saw the young body sprawled on the floor, in a pool of blood. But I had been wrong. They no longer were young kids, but young men. I felt bile come up and my eyes opened to the painted ceiling of purple sky and pink clouds. I rolled to the floor with a wretch, then rapidly made my way to the bathroom. I knelt in front of the toilet and vomited all I could. So much blood... so, so much... But that young man in the cupboard hadn't been looking.

No, he hadn't been looking. And when he was sure the bad guys were gone, he kept his eyes closed and ran away, certain that his brother was dead along with his human mother. Yes, that is what had happened. And I knew because... because... yes, because that young man hiding had been me. I heaved even more as my memories came flooding back to me, but my stomach was as empty as could be. When Nero came to rub my back soothingly, I jumped a little in surprise and murmured his name along with a few half-hearted curses. I felt like shit. I smelled like shit. My head hurt as much as if it had been smashed to pieces by a speeding car, then brought back together and used as a trampoline or something. His rubbing increased upon hearing his name, and I half heard him yell that I had recognized him or something. The last few days seemed to me like some kind of fevered vision or some real nasty bad trip because of some drugs or others. I think I told so, too, to the kid and it made him laugh nervously, but I'm not too sure about that. It was all pretty fuzzy. And I wanted pizza. Lots and lots of it. And tomato juice. And strawberry sundae. And maybe a beer. Or maybe not, after this bad experience. What happened to me, anyway? I managed to get to my feet after a couple minutes of throwing up nothing, and shakily made my way to the bath. The kid caught my thought immediately and helped me get undressed, then under the shower. The water on my skin felt good. The proximity of another living being, one that wasn't there to try and cut my throat, felt good. But something was amiss. And I knew immediately what it was. Except some flashes, I had no idea what had happened at all in the past few days. Or maybe it had been more than that. It kinda felt like waking up from a coma, although I couldn't say for sure since I had never been in one. But I was disoriented and I felt vulnerable. I must have dozed off because when I opened my eyes again, I was laying on my sofa, my head on someone's lap. Looking up, I saw it was Nero that served as my pillow again.

"How are you feeling now? You recognize me?", he asked softly, hope shining in his eyes. He really was rather cute like that. But I didn't feel like playing games with him.

"Yeah, I'm fine. But it seems I've forgotten some things. Was I drugged or something for the past few days? I can't seem to remember what happened exactly," my eyes fell on the painted ceiling and walls, and all the canvases dispersed all over the room. One of my eyebrows twitched. "And who thought modifying the decor was a good idea without even asking me beforehand?"

"Oh, come on! It's not like we had any other choice. We had to know where your name and that of your brother's were taken, and the only way to do so was to ask the cat to paint it for us, since he proposed it himself anyway," said Lady's voice from above us. She slid down the stairs' ramp and landed on the floor with a soft thudding sound, then turned around to come and sit near us. "Trish is out getting us some food right now, if you're wondering."

"What did you say about my name?", I asked, frowning. I must have heard that wrong.

"Your name got stolen, or erased, or whatever you prefer to call it. The diagram was then taken someplace else. You do remember your brother had the same thing done to him, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah. So the reason I can't remember the last few days is...?"

"Probably more like last few _weeks_, actually," she said, crossing her legs and leaning back.

"Do you remember Kitty taking the look of your pants?", asked the kid, a strange look I couldn't quite decipher on his face.

"He did what!", I looked at him funny, then laughed. That must have been hilarious if it had really happened!

"Yep, this is our -," said Lady. Upon hearing the silence, all three of us frowned. "Ok, so it seems that although your memories are back, you still haven't had your name back."

"Well, a name's just a name, and I'll be getting it back eventually anyway. So if you absolutely need one to call me, you can always use Tony Redgrave," I offered, shrugging.

"Tony Redgrave? Isn't that the name engraved on Ebony?", asked the kid.

"It is." I didn't seem to make much of it, but some kind of dread was slowly creeping up in me. To demons, the name was everything, and they were powerless without it. Just like that giant statue I found a little before Temen-Ni-Gru emerged from the ground. I frowned then and sat up. I had had a mission before that damn statue. I stood up and walked to my desk, opening drawers and searching inside them. I should still have it somewhere. I knew I had put it in there afterward.

Lady and Nero came to stand near me. "What are you searching for?", asked Lady.

My hand came upon a framed photograph and I took the papers stacked on it and put them on the desk, then picked the frame. It was a picture of Lady, some ten to twelve years ago. I then saw exactly what I had been looking for and picked it up as well.

Lady took her photograph from my hands and looked at it in disbelief. "Since when have you had this?", she asked, more surprised than outraged.

"I've found it about a year before meeting you for the first time. During a mission consisting of finding a lost child named Alice." I handed them the second picture, where a little girl holding a stuffed rabbit sat on a chair. "Wanted" had been printed at the top of the picture, and "Alice" had been scribbled by hand at the bottom. "'Alice in Wonderland', I thought back then. Only job that really paid, and it paid well for almost nothing, too. I can't believe I had forgotten about it before now. I met the Mad Hatter and the March Hare having a tea party with scones made of bone and tea made of blood or something of the like. Creepy stuff."

Lady studied the picture a moment, before she once again lifted her eyes to look at me. "What happened to the girl?"

"It ended up that stupid rabbit had been the one to issue the mission, only because he had wanted to see one of Sparda's descendants or something. Weird guy. And I ended up forced to kill the girl because she had become a demon. The kind of demons we kill on every outing," I told them as I searched some more. "Back then, I didn't yet know Morrison. Instead, I was relying on a guy named Enzo to find jobs for me. An Italian drunkard that often ended up spending even my share of the mission money on babes and booze. I stopped making deals with him after that mission, though. But I think I still have his number here somewhere... by the way, where's the Kitty?"

"Sleeping on your bed. So you think maybe we could get some clues as to where to look from here by talking to this guy about a mission you had some ten years ago?", she asked, arching an eyebrow.

I shrugged. "That, and we can go take a look at that mansion where I met the two MH."

Lady nodded. "Yeah, that might work. But le me just tell you the cat told us that the white rabbit would lead us to the rabbit's hole, which in turn leads to Wonderland."

I frowned as I remembered a detail, something I had thought of as being trivial. "I think I saw a white rabbit." They both looked at me as though I was crazy. "I'm not lying, I think I saw a white rabbit in the basement of that shop, where I got attacked by the male lamia. Just before I lost consciousness, I think I saw a white rabbit hopping by. I'm not too sure because my thoughts were really confused back then, though."

"That makes three leads," said Lady, putting the photographs of Alice and her younger self on my desk. "Got any other?"

"Not right now. I'll tell you if I think of something else. Now tell me what happened in the weeks I had no memory. I have the feeling something important happened, but I can't think of what it could possibly be," I said, looking at the both of them.

Nero lowered his head, before turning around and walking away towards the stairs, while Lady simply seemed like she didn't know what to tell me. I didn't like the meaning of that one bit. It meant something big really did happen, and it hadn't been anything great or good. I glared at Lady, trying to pressure her into telling me, but it was obvious it wasn't working at all. It unnerved me, and I suddenly felt murderous. This wasn't right. Something important had happened, but they refused to tell me what it was. And I had a feeling it implied Nero in some way. Maybe I would be able to get Trish to tell me about it later on. Speaking of the devil, she stepped in just as Lady was about to turn around also. She stared a moment at us, probably noting that Nero was nowhere in sight, but still came forward with the boxes containing what I knew to be pizza. We all ate, and eventually Lady took some slices upstairs for the kid, leaving me alone with Trish on the sofa. I looked intensely at her. I wanted to know what had happened, and she would tell me, dammit!

"Tell me what happened in the last few weeks. I know Nero was involved in some way. Now just tell me what happened!", I demanded of her.

She sighed deeply, before looking me in the eyes. "You raped him. You pushed him down on your desk and raped him, yet you called your brother's name, well the best you could, anyway, since his name was also erased, while you did it. Do you have any idea how much that broke his heart? He was crying, for fuck's sake, when we got here the next morning!", she growled.

Suddenly, I wasn't so sure things would go smoothly anymore. I wasn't even sure if I would be able to keep the pizza I had eaten in my stomach. I must have turned green or something, because her gaze immediately softened to worry and she came nearer to rub my back, asking if I was ok. So I really had done it. I had raped the kid, even after having been the one to refuse his advances. Betrayal, rape, and double betrayal, since I had called another's name. My own twin brother's name. Maybe that is exactly the type of stuff that lead us demons and half-demons to hell even if we save the world more often than superman. Maybe that was the kind of stuff that made the invisible guy up there lounging on his cloud futon hate us who possessed demonic blood so much. It was the fact that we were more prone to act upon our instincts and hidden desires more easily than humans. But I swear, I really never had any intention of doing anything to the kid in that way. Not consciously, anyway, but it seemed some part of me still really wanted to mark him as mine. Or maybe it was because of his resemblance with my brother. Yet again, I had never dominated my twin. Maybe it was because I missed his presence so much. Or I don't know! I was never any good in these kinds of speculations! Why were feelings so complicated? Why does fate keep on hitting us upside the head over and over again, without giving us any chance to breath or even repent for our mistakes...?

* * *

**Go to my profile and vote in the "Who do you want Dante to end up with in my fanfiction Repentance?" poll there.**


	3. Chapter 3

"The world was born of darkness." I raised my eyes to look at him. _Not the one I want most_. A smirk adorned his lips still. Did it ever leave them? "You are aware that it was killed, are you not?"

_What?_ The lamia. Of course. He was talking about that pathetic, slimy thing that got attached to me. "So it is dead," I murmured. I didn't care. About anything, really. All I wanted was to find myself again. I knew they had erased my name. They had forced me to guard the seal, then watch as they took it away. _Through the rabbit's hole_. Yes, down the rabbit's hole.

His smirk became cruel, almost blood-thirsty. "You don't care?", he asked. I remained motionless.

How could I move with my arms chained to the ceiling, high above my head, and my feet bolted to the ground? _It hurts_. And he, he just sat there in that stone throne, his flashy blood-red mantle sprawled on it under him as he relaxed there, legs crossed, elbow on one of the stone armrests, his cheek on his fist. He hadn't moved from there for days, just looking at me. I had become accustomed to his scrutinizing stare already. After all, it had already been years since I last saw the outside world. Not that I could really miss it really, since I couldn't remember it. It was almost an abstract idea, really. And I couldn't even remember what I looked like myself, nor where I came from or what my name was. I just knew that I was powerless against them, but that I had to get out. I had to get away. _I need to find him_. I needed to find someone. I didn't know who, but it was a shadow that had been dancing in and out of my head since, it seemed, forever. _I need to get back to him_. But there was no way they would let me go. Not after all these years. Or was it really that long? I didn't know anymore. I just knew that my chin was itchy because of that damn facial hair that kept on growing, and my hair was getting in my eyes again. I had started getting annoyed at these pretty recently, too. I didn't know why. But what rights did a man without name have? A powerless man without a name, chained in a cold room, fed only once a day, constantly watched upon by another guy. _A demon_. I was actually starting to think I was getting insane, really. What with this voice talking of its own accord in my mind and all.

"Hey, focus," snapped the guy, growling and leaning forward. _Danger_. "I'm talking to you, shithead!" I sent a glare his way in answer, and his playful smirk came back. "She wants you to go and get us some stuff up there. You think you're up to it?"

_Where?_ "You mean... outside?", I asked him, lifting my head a little. _They're letting me go?_

A cruel glint shone in his eye at that. "Yeah. Outside. But you better don't mess this up or do anything unnecessary, or you'll regret it dearly. Remember when you bit me? I'm sure you still feel that stab in your belly. Well, it'll be ten times worse, believe me. And that's IF she doesn't decide to behead you instead."

_She won't do it. She needs me. I have to find him._ "What do I have to do?", I asked him, feeling my muscles protest as I straightened up. I wanted to go outside. I NEEDED to go outside. _I must find him._

"Oh, it's pretty simple. That white rabbit disappeared again. It isn't doing its job. Find it and set it straight. I don't care how you do it. And if you find Cheshire... well, you can exterminate that cowardly traitor," he said, snickering evilly.

I blacked out again then. It actually happened pretty often. Usually, I would hear a pleading voice or angry growls when it happened, the whole time I was out. But this time, I didn't hear anything. I felt... lonely. Lonelier than I'd ever felt before. It felt as though I had been cut off from half of myself, even if I had no idea who I really was. I hurt really bad. The kind of wound you can't see, but you feel it ever more vividly. _Let me go back to him!_ It was a terrible feeling. _I'm so sorry!_

_

* * *

_

I jumped in surprise as there came a knock from the door. The cue hit the ball askew and it went into one of the holes. Swearing under my breath, I looked at the door as a laughing Lady went to answer the door. An old lady was standing there, holding a thick, white envelope. I raised an eyebrow as the old woman took a step inside, looking unsure, eying all around her. I fetched the white ball and put it on the billiard table. Lady and I had been playing a little, to pass the time while we waited for the two others. Trish had gone to get some info from Enzo, with some directions and warnings from me, and the kid had gone to look again in that old shop. I had been left behind because since I had lost my name, although temporarily, they feared I would be near powerless. As if I'd ever be impotent! But they were probably right. Ever since I had gained back my memory, I couldn't feel the demon blood running in my veins as strongly as I did before. Instead of its presence, I felt a great emptiness. It made me somewhat lonely and scared. I feared we would get attacked any time and I'd get killed as easily as a human being. Or worse, that I wouldn't be able to protect my friends. If I hadn't really been aware of that fear while having all my demon powers, I couldn't do anything but to feel it now. This feeling of uselessness put a bitter taste on the back of my tongue. Then there was the fact that at any moment, those that had erased my name would try to control me as they were no doubt controlling my brother. I would then forget again, and probably turn on my friends myself. I couldn't stand it. Which was why Lady had stayed behind with me. To keep an eye on me in case I started acting weird or we got attacked. Leaving Nero behind... wouldn't have been a good idea at all. Even more so after what I had done to him, even if I couldn't remember it. It had taken me a while to accept the fact that it had happened, but the fact that it had been _me_ was still stuck in my throat. I felt like if I thought about it too much, I would throw up again. Not because it had been with a man, a younger man at that, or even because it had been with Nero himself, but because I had _forced_ him. That's what I couldn't accept. Yet there was still a good point in that: it kept me from thinking too much about my twin. Trying to shake the bad thoughts from my head I focused on the old lady standing in the doorway.

"How can we help you, granny?", I asked her, leaning against the billiard table.

The old woman turned suddenly to look at me, as if she hadn't seen me there. "It's really you! Thank goodness I found you! You left before I could thank you properly. But I thought I had seen you somewhere before, and lo and behold! I find you here easily enough!", she said, coming towards me and holding the envelope towards me.

I raised an eyebrow at her, not really sure of what was going on. I mean, there was an old lady standing in from of me handing me what I guessed to be thank-you money, but I had never ever seen her before. "What do you mean, granny? You lost a few too many braincells to old age and have started to forget stuff?"

"Don't talk like that to your elders, brat!", she growled, managing to whack me upside the head with the envelope even though she was a little more than half my height. "Just take it and stop looking at me as though I was deluding. You're the young man that got rid of all those dark plants that had been growing in my garden and killing animals and other plants." She pushed the envelope to my chest and turned around before leaving. I managed to catch the white envelope before it fell to the ground, and looked through it. I couldn't believe my eyes. That thing really was full of thank-you money!

Lady approached me and whistled in surprise as she saw all the cash. "Wow! She sure values her garden a lot!", she commented.

I looked at her funny. Had she really been following the conversation between the old granny and me? "Lady, I never saw this woman before. I have no idea why she would want to thank me with this much money," I told her seriously.

Lady raised her eyes to me. "She recognized you, though," she noted.

I scratched the back of my head. "I tell you I've never seen her!"

She crossed her arms. "I know. You aren't thinking right now, Tony. She recognized you, but you never met her. Consider the options of something like that happening to anybody. They're pretty damn near zero. But _you_ have a twin brother that looks exactly like you. This means he was around here not too long ago. The thing is that we have no idea how much time it took that old woman to find this place, so we can't really say for sure, but-"

She got interrupted as another knock came from the door. We looked at each other, and I went to answer the door. A big man stood there. "Yeah?", I said, not too sure what this was about, but having already some vague guess.

"So this is really where you live. Here, you forgot this," said the guy, handing me a thick roll of paper money. He then turned around and left.

"See? That means your brother's around here," said Lady as she positioned the white ball, then hit it.

I closed the door and stayed silent a moment. I didn't really know what I was feeling right then upon realizing she was most probably right. Anger, relief, happiness, sadness, fear... It was all a great jumble in my chest, and also in my head. My thoughts got pretty incoherent right then. I mean, my brother was in the area! He was within my reach again! After all this pain he had caused me, all that fear, this sadness, this helplessness and distress, I was in the possibility to see him again! I had a possibility to set things right again! I froze as I felt a great pain in my right shoulder, then ringing in my ear. I grabbed my shoulder, but took my hand away quickly as I felt that my shirt was wet there. Looking at my fingers, it confirmed it: I had been shot.

I turned around quickly and glared daggers at Lady, who was still pointing her fuming gun at me. "What the fuck was that for!", I yelled at her.

She made a move with her gun. "Look at your other hand," she said calmly.

I looked down at my right hand, and froze. It was twitching badly and the muscles were contracted to the point that had I still had feeling in it, it would hurt like hell. But as it was, I couldn't feel that hand for some reason. Then it dawned on me. While I was thinking about my brother, they had taken the opportunity to try and take over my body. Growling, I whirled around and smashed my hand on the door's knob. The twitching immediately stopped and pain shot up my arm. I cursed under my breath as I held my hand. I had put too much force it it and broke a few bones, as well as break the skin. Now it was bleeding like crazy. I heard Lady put her gun in the back of her shorts and come towards me.

She made a motion for me to extend my hand. "Let me take a look at that. With your powers gone, your healing speed is probably reduced, too," she said softly, then felt the wound in my shoulder and nodded. "As I thought. At least I made sure to aim so that the bullet would go right through. We'll have to bandage that, too."

"You didn't have to shoot me, you know," I growled as I let her lead me to the sofa and I plopped down on it, wincing a little as I did so.

She snorted. "Just be glad I didn't shoot you in the head. It might have killed you. Now be a good boy and don't move from there while I go fetch some bandages. I'm sure you didn't use them since I left."

"Not true. Trish forced me to accept being bandaged when I almost got slashed in half, in some mission where I had been too careless. I think it left a scar, too, fucking demon," I retorted.

"Maybe, but you said it yourself: she forced you. So it doesn't count. Ah ha! Found it!" She came back from the kitchen and I briefly what that roll of bandages was doing there. Well, Trish had often weird hiding places for things she thought I might throw out even though it might be needed one day.

"By the way, it seems to me you two girls are always together. Why's that?", I asked her as I took off my shirt to let her bandage the bullet wound.

"Well, we found out we got along quite well. What's wrong with that?"

I looked at her funny as she started on my first wound. "You mean you and Trish...?"

She sent me a glare and pouted. "What, you're against it?"

"No, not at all! I mean, you've got the right to do whatever you want... I'm just surprised. I never thought you would start something like that when you two met for the first time."

"Well, now we don't argue about clothes anymore because we share them, since we've got the same tastes in clothing."

"I'm amazed how girls can think of anything to solve problems like that."

"What, you haven't thought about sharing clothes with Nero? I mean, you two were sensibly the same size of clothing. I'm sure it would make Nero hot if he saw you wearing his pants."

"Don't start with that, Lady. I have no intention to go there with the kid. And besides, I've got a feeling he wouldn't be that happy to see me in his clothes. At all."

"Alright, I'm finished. Now lie down and get some sleep. Isn't this usually the time you take a nap?"

"Shut up. I take naps when I'm bored, and then it doesn't matter what time I take my naps at," I growled, getting down nonetheless.

The kitty cat jumped down from the top of the stairs. "Nap time!", he yelled happily as he turned completely into a cat halfway down, then coming to cuddle on my stomach while purring loudly.

Lady stayed silent a moment, surprised, then laughed as she went and sat at my desk. I smiled a little as I scratched the kitty cat behind the ears. He was just so innocent and cute, sometimes, it made you forget he was a total nutcase, or even that he actually came from Wonderland, where the people who had erased my name and my twin brother's name were. There was a possibility that he was actually a spy or something along those lines, but I couldn't exactly see him in that role. It didn't fit him. He was just way too out of it to keep to a serious task for very long, and I couldn't imagine him killing anything a cat wouldn't normally kill. But then one had to wonder why he was allowed to stay out of Wonderland, when they obviously had no pleasurable plan in store for me. If I asked him, that cat probably wouldn't answer me. But that wasn't what irked me the most. What got on my nerves was that I would probably see my twin brother, whom I hadn't seen in over a decade, very, very soon and I couldn't even think about it because it allowed those fuckers down in Wonderland to hack into my body and take control of it forcefully. I couldn't allow them to do that. But at the same time... it was real hard not to think about him. Damn those fuckers. Damn my power-hungry twin. Why had he jumped off that stupid cliff? Why had he held back his blow? Why had he broken up with me?

* * *

I stared at the run-down old shop. It still had that same reek of demons it had when they came to take me from it. _He came here._ I briefly wondered if that lamia was still in there and alive, but I pushed the thought away as soon as it popped up in my mind. _He lives in this town._ I didn't have time to think about such trivial things. I had to find that stupid white rabbit, punish that stupid cat, and make sure the rabbit does his job. Of course, it had taken me a few days to find this place. I was unfamiliar with this city, and demons had popped out every now and then on my way. A giant centipede had attacked an old woman's house while I was walking by and had decided to make me one of its victims. I had no choice but to exterminate it. After that, some cyclops or whatever decided to destroy the street just as I was in the process of crossing it. But I had now finally arrived to this run-down old shop. _He lives nearby._ I opened the front door and stepped in silently. That white rabbit had been supposed to get his job done here, but had failed, obviously, and had then disappeared. I was to find his trace from here, and follow to wherever he had gone to. The first thing I noticed was that nothing had been moved, but there was a hole in the floor, as though something _or someone_ had somehow gone through the floor. I got closer to it and examined it to confirm my suspicions: someone hadn't simply gone through those wooden planks, they had been weakened, most probably by the lamia, to make someone fall through them. _Maybe it was him._ I stood back up and walked around the hole to the back of the store. I opened the door and went to the stairs that led down under the shop. I looked down into the obscurity therein, listening closely, but I didn't hear anything. No slimy sound, no scales scraping on stone, nothing. The lamia was probably dead. Nodding in satisfaction, I made my way down the stairs, then through the dark stone corridor. I walked past a few doors that didn't lead to anything interesting, and came to the room at the far end, where a big hole in the stone had been dug, but the torches still burnt brightly. I stopped before the small crater as I heard a gun being cocked beside my ear. I turned my head slightly and looked at the young man standing near me. The barrel of his gun was pointing to my temple, but it didn't touch me. His light blue eyes had a hard look in them and his hair was abnormally white for his age. He couldn't be older than twenty, really. _Who is he?_ He had a sword almost as big as himself strapped to his back in an oddly familiar way. Then I noticed his right hand. The hand of a demon, obviously, although aside from that hand, I couldn't sense any demon at all. _He has something that belongs to me._

He hesitated a moment, before lowering his gun. "What are you doing here?", he asked as he uncocked the weapon. "I thought we agreed that you would stay at Devil May Cry with Lady so as to not get in danger. You know you lost most of your strength when they erased your name, Tony. So what the fuck are you doing here? And what's up with these weird clothes? I never saw them before and I would never have thought those would be included in your style."

I looked down at the tight-fitted leather pants, the white cotton shirt and the bright blue cloak I wore. I never really did notice them, really. "Tony?", I asked, not really sure what he was talking about, but somehow that name rang bells in the back of my mind. _He once used that name_.

"Yeah, isn't that the name you told us to call you by since your real name got erased? Come on, don't play games with me. It's not funny. And where are Ebony and Ivory? I thought you never went out without them?", he said, examining me up and down. _Those belong to him._ "You know what? Something's off here. You never stood that straight and you never keep silent except when asked delicate questions. You're way too cocky for that. So what's up? What's going on?"

He grabbed one of my arms with his right hand then, probably intending to shake me, but he immediately let go with a cry of pain. He let go of his gun and grabbed at his glowing arm, grimacing in what must have been intense pain. I simply stood there, watching him, unsure how I was supposed to react to this. But then something started to come out of the hand of the young man. The hilt of a sword, then its scabbard, and it came flying to me. I caught it easily and it was as if something in me finally got complete. I stared at the sword – _katana_ – and something clicked in my mind. _This is mine._ It was my sword. I unsheathed it and looked at its curved blade. Beautiful. Elegant. _Mine._ The complete opposite of my brother's sword. Brother? Yes, my baby twin brother. The memories I had lost came back to me slowly, as the young man stood up, grabbing his sword and getting into a battle stance. It wasn't too bad, but the one-hand grip on that big thing obviously upset his balance somewhat, even if he wasn't aware of it. His eyes were glaring daggers at me.

"You said Tony, right? Were you talking of Tony Redgrave?", I asked, tasting my own accept on my tongue and delighting in it, in my cleverness, in my _superiority_.

"So you're not Tony after all," he growled. So he wasn't really a total idiot, but there seemed to be lacking more than a few braincells. "In that case, you must be his lost twin brother. The traitor who tried opening a permanent gate between the human world and the demon world to go and grab Sparda's power."

"Yes, that would be me. Although those are pretty harsh words you're using. But I guess you wouldn't know how it is to know your father was the most powerful of demons, but he still sealed his own demonic powers in order to live among humans with the woman he loved. I don't think you would resist the temptation much better than me, kid. But enough of that. If you know "Tony", then I guess you _are_ of some value to me. _And_ I must thank you for returning my memories to me, although it is obvious I still haven't gotten my name or powers back, but that can still wait."

"What?", he said, surprise scotched to his face. Ah, yes, youth is ever more good with words, and it seems to get better all the time.

I sighed as I put my sword back in its sheath and put it in its rightful place at my hip. "My brother is still alive and pretty much in the same kind of situation as I, I believe? And you are one of his... friends, right? Well, because you just did me a great favor by returning my memory to me and by having kept my precious sword safe in my absence, I will let you live. But you have to do me one small other favor and tell my brother we shall meet soon and to expect the proper preparations for the oncoming party, this time," I smirked as I told the kid that.

_["You sure know how to throw a party. No food, no drinks... and the only babe just left."  
"My sincerest apology, brother. I was so eager to see you, I... couldn't concentrate on the preparations for the bash."]_

"Do you have any idea how much your selfishness hurt him!", he exclaimed, visibly in great anger. I stopped smirking and raised an eyebrow at him. My selfishness? "He tried killing himself many times and mutilated himself to try and appease the pain _you_ caused him by disappearing on him! I have no idea what happened upon your separation, but it hurt him really deeply! What are you gonna do about that? How are you going to make it up to him?"

I laughed. This was simply too hilarious. Did this kid really think I cared? "How am I going to make it up to him? Why, the same way I've always made it up to him: by keeping to my own business. My brother always was way too emotional for his own good. Much like our mother, actually, and humans in general. He always let himself be thrown from side to side by his emotions and moral beliefs. He doesn't care about power, even though he's obviously extremely strong, maybe even more than our father. He has an idealistic vision of relationships that doesn't always take reality in consideration. But I guess you already figured that out, since I'm pretty sure you know him pretty well. I'm the older brother, so I've got the right to overlook him, to think of him as being less than I am. I was never cruel to him, and much less selfish. You know nothing of how it was for us growing up, so don't you dare try and tell me I did something wrong. The only wrong thing I did was getting involved with Arkham to accomplish my goal. Then again, I wouldn't have reached it without that idiot. So shut the hell up about me being selfish to him. Besides, I got tired of looking after that big baby long ago, it's time for him to grow up and stand on his own for once."

"He considers you as more than just a brother!", he yelled, trying to hit me with that big sword of his, but I just sidestepped to evade it.

"Tch! Of course he does! He always takes his relationships as more than they really are. _And_ we are identical twins. Two beings that were supposed to be only one. The two halves of the same creature. As such, it is _expected_ for us to be closer than normal brothers usually are."

He turned on himself and tried slicing me in half again, but this time I evaded by jumping back. "Is that why you started a romantic relationship with him?" He lunged at me, as if to impale me, but again I sidestepped.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "Where the heck did you hear such nonsense? It was never a romantic relationship, more like a sexual one."

I felt some kind of ethereal force grab me and my feet left the ground as he raised his right arm as though it were grabbing me. What an interesting ability. "He believed there was something more between the two of you!"

This kid was starting to get on my nerves, really. And that rarely happened, usually. But he was the kind of naive, gullible, idealistic, emotional idiot that made my blood boil. Just like my stupid twin brother, really, but this was the first time someone aside from him got on my nerves this bad. "What the fuck is it to you? I just told you he always was a bit on the delusional side when it came to relationships, taking them for more than they really are! And besides, that's something that has to get settled between the two of us. You're an outsider and you've got no business in that matter, so stop bothering me with it. I might just reconsider my decision of letting you live."

He threw me to the ground and I just rolled to my feet as he lunged at me one more time, before hitting him upside the head with my sword, that I didn't bother taking out of its sheath. I didn't want to kill him, anyway. I watched as he let go of his sword and fell face down to the stone floor, knocked out. I put my sword back in its place at my hip and looked around the room. There was obviously no trace of the rabbit left, if he ever came here. I lowered my eyes once again upon the young man laying unconscious. I had to decide on a course of action. I would never admit it, but what he had said worried me. Had my disappearance really been that hard of a blow to him? What had happened to him in all those years we had been apart? Somehow, I had to find an answer to those questions and those like them that ran in my head. After all, that last time I had seen him, as I had jumped down that cliff, had almost broken the heart I hadn't known lay in my chest. It had been harder than I would ever had thought to fight him that last time at the door of the Demon World. I hadn't had the heart to try and give him a last blow. I couldn't do it. I had already betrayed him enough. I had already broken too many promises. Jumping down that cliff had been the only thing I could do. I had been my only option. Repentance wouldn't have been possible if I had done anything else.

* * *

I woke with a start as the shop's front doors were thrown open. Nero walked in with a horribly displeased look on his face. He waved to Lady, who had gotten up in a hurry as a reflex to his hostile entrance, then came toward me. I sat up with the kitty cat still on my lap and looked up at him as he simply stood there. He took a deep breath and hesitated a moment, and I couldn't help but wonder if what he had to tell me really was that hard to say. But I had a feeling that it was really important. After all, he would probably had given up had it not been important. I looked out the window as I waited for him to get over his hesitation. It was pouring buckets outside, and I noticed the kid was drenched and dripping all over. I thought I saw someone with white hair and a blue coat walk away, but that vision disappeared after I blinked.

He scratched the back of his neck with a sigh, obviously giving up on some tactic he had wanted to use to say whatever he had to say. "I just met your brother, in that old shop where you got attacked by the lamia," he blurted. I froze and looked back up at him in surprise. Well, I thought it was surprise, but I think what actually showed on my face was more along the lines of incredulity, relief, maybe even excitement on top of it. "Apparently, ha had also lost his memory, but remembered everything when he got hold of his sword, which got out of my arm forcefully, on its own accord. I have no idea what really happened there. I talked with him, and we even argued, but I can't understand him. I thought it was you, at first, too..."

We all kept silent a moment after that as the information sank in. So my brother really was nearby. I felt a pang in my heart, but I also felt light as a feather. I let a smirk tug at the corner of my lips. "Tcheh, so that bastard managed to keep safe. I'm glad," I whispered, half to myself.

Nero lowered his head. "He wanted me to pass a message to you."

I raised an eyebrow at him. "He did?"

The kid nodded slightly and hesitated a second. "He said: "tell my brother we shall meet soon and to expect the proper preparations for the oncoming party, this time." I have no idea what he meant by that. Do you know?"

I relaxed back in the couch, a smirk stretching my lips. "Just a reference to our last meeting."

Nero looked confused, but he didn't push the matter. Then he noticed the bandage on my hand and his eyes widened. He grabbed my hand softly and looked at it closely. "What happened!"

"Nothing, really. He tried something stupid and ended up smashing his hands against something and breaking a bone or two. I wrapped it up to help it heal properly, since his healing abilities have slowed down," said Lady as she adjusted one of her guns' straps. "I'll go fetch us some supper, since Trish should be getting back anytime now. You boys be good while I'm gone, alright? And Tony, you should go take a shower and shave a little. The beard really doesn't suit you."

I moaned as she made her way to the door. "But I hate shaving! And it always grows back anyway!", I protested.

Lady looked at me over her shoulder. "You never though of scraping the skin off you face to see if the hair would grow back afterward, have you? It's amazing you manage to stay alive even though you often forget you're half-demon. Now stop being a big baby about it and just do it." And with that, out she went.

We stayed silent a moment, simply staying there, me sitting on the couch and he, half-bent over me, my still-wounded hand in his. It was a strange feeling, that of being injured for more than a few minutes. I couldn't really describe how strange it felt to me, if I was asked about it. It's similar to a healthy human learning they've got an incurable sickness, maybe, but way less fatal. Or I dunno, I've never been really good at talking about my feelings, be them physical or emotional. But right then, as my hand was held in his, I had mixed feelings about him. No, wait, that isn't right. I had always had mixed feelings about him, really, but what I felt for my brother had always overshadowed everything else. It had always surpassed everything and he had always been the first thing on my mind at any given moment. But since I had gained my memory back, I felt as though I had moved on. As if somehow, his presence wasn't the center of my universe any longer. Yeah, moving on is the right expression. Which was weird, really, since I would meet him very soon and I would then have a chance to clarify some things with him. There was the fact that I couldn't think of him too much for fear those idiots from Wonderland would try and forcefully gain control over my body, but I felt at peace. And somehow, my constant refusal of Nero's advances seemed out of place. I rose suddenly and made my way toward the bathroom, uttering to him that I was going to take a shower and closing the door behind myself. This wasn't right. The most important was my brother. The one I lusted after was my brother. The one I longed for was my brother. But somehow, it all rang so false in my head as I tried convincing myself it was true and it echoed aimlessly in my skull. I opened the water and shed my clothes, before stepping in the shower. I put my forehead to the cold tiles of the shower wall with a sigh. Everything was getting upside down in my head. I couldn't be with Nero. I just couldn't. I didn't have to find any excuses, that was the way it was. My other half was my twin brother. But it almost seemed that I had been running after him for so long that now that I could finally see him again, the will to be reunited with him was starting to fade. Maybe it was a side effect of my name having been erased, but I was tired of wishing for my twin brother to return to me. After all, that hard-headed fucker probably wouldn't listen to a word I would tell him and still try finding a way to get ever more powerful. He would jeopardize this world's future in doing so, and I'd be stuck picking the pieces up after him. That was the way he was. Did feelings of that nature have an expiration date or something? If so, how long would this indecision I felt toward Nero last? I was a little ashamed to admit it, but I was scared shitless. I couldn't protect anyone in the state I was in, let alone myself, and my feelings weren't as solid as I had always thought they were.

_["Brother, I'm scared."  
"Come on, you big baby. It's just a thunderstorm. There's nothing scary about that."  
"I'm still scared! Where are mom and dad?"  
"You know father went away and won't come back, and mom's gonna come back in the morning. If you're really that scared, you can come and sleep with me."  
"Really?"  
"Yeah. Now c'mere under the covers with me. Aren't I a good older brother?"  
"You're the best brother ever!"]_

My eyes widened as a knot formed in my throat. I felt tears escape from my eyes and mingle in the shower's water. We had always gotten along really well when we were little.

_["We are the sons of Sparda. Within each of us flows his blood... but more importantly: his soul! ...and now, my soul is saying it wants to stop you!"  
"Ahahahaha... Unfortunately, our souls are at odds, brother: I need more power."  
"And we're supposed to be twins..."  
"...Twins...right."]_

I turned the water off and stood there in silence a moment. It hadn't been supposed to turn this way. My twin and I hadn't been supposed to ever get separated. Yet after puberty, he had started to change and the distance between us became ever greater as time passed. And now... I gasped in surprise as my wounded hand moved of its own accord and grabbed my throat, trying to strangle me. I fell out of the bath and onto the tiled floor, trying to gasp for breath and get my own hand away from me, but failing miserably. When the bathroom's door opened, my vision was already starting to fail me. I couldn't think anymore. Nero rushed to me and managed to force both my hands above my head. He held them there with his Devil Bringer as I caught my breath again. I shouldn't have been thinking of my brother. But as I lay there on my back on the bathroom floor, butt naked, with the kid straddling my stomach and keeping my hands above my head, I couldn't help but think back to the first time my brother and I fucked. Because if later it became what I like to believe to be an act of love, right then it had simply been our hormones taking hold of us. He had forced me down and practically raped me. So in these conditions, nobody can blame me for reacting to the position alone, even if it seemed to shock the kid. Damn libido. Damn Wonderland. Damn myself for answering to the kiss Nero gave me right then as he still restrained my hands. Karma really was against me.

* * *

A shiver ran through me as I fought a smile off my face. I had followed that young man back to my brother's so-called shop. I had never really come here, but I had to admit it was kind of nice. And there he was, alive and well, though obviously suffering from the drop in his powers. I could see the bandage on his left hand and the stiff way he moved, trying not to move his left shoulder too much. It had been such a long time since I had seen him. Looking myself in the mirror didn't cut it. My reflexion never held that cocky fire in the depths of its eyes.

I leaned my forehead against the glass with a satisfied sigh. "It's been a long time, brother...", I whispered to myself, before turning around and going away.

The rain was pouring down, but it didn't matter. I had finally seen him and saw for myself that he had been able to get by ok without me. Though I would never admit it to anyone, that had been my greatest fear when I left him behind to be on his own. Suddenly, I felt eyes on my back and cursed myself for my thoughtlessness. That idiot was looking through the window! I ran around the nearest corner and waited there a moment. He had seen me. I knew he had. I just hoped he would think he had imagined me there under the falling rain. After a few minutes, as I didn't hear him coming after me, I relaxed a little and looked up at the sky. If he had believed his eyes and come after me, my plan would have been ruined. I had to find that damn white rabbit and bring it to him. Because I couldn't break those seals by myself. I hated to admit it, but I needed his help to get my name back. And his too, since it had also been erased by those bastards. I briefly wondered if he really was doing alright all alone with his business, and I decided to help him somewhat. After all, we had the same face. I just had to save people by killing demons and hint at the... Devil May Cry, was it? Yeah, that's what was written above the front door. I wondered then why he had chosen such a name. It was obvious he had decided on it a long time ago, but I remembered he hadn't yet decided on the name of his shop when we had that party in Temen-Ni-Gru. I shook those thoughts out of my head and decided it was time to leave. Just as I was leaving that alleyway, the front door to my brother's shop opened and a girl stepped out. I remembered her. She had been an uninvited guest in Temen-Ni-Gru. Arkham's daughter, if I recall correctly. I didn't have time to go back into hiding for she spotted me right away. I turned my back to her and tried getting on my way. Maybe she would leave me to my business and not interfere.

But I heard her hurried footsteps as she ran to catch up to me. "Wait!", she said. I stopped, but didn't turn around. She rapidly caught up with me and came in front of me. I glared at her. "Aren't you here to see Tony? Why don't you go in?", she asked.

"I saw he was well and that is all I wanted to see. And I also wanted to see where his so-called shop was. What's up with that weird name, anyway? But I never had any intention of meeting up with him. At least not yet. There are still some things I must take care of beforehand," I told her, then I pushed her aside and got back on my way.

"Wait! Don't you want to know why he named his shop "Devil May Cry"?", I heard her yell behind me. I stopped and looked at her over my shoulder. Yeah, that name intrigued me. "He decided on it right after we came back from Temen-Ni-Gru. He started crying silently while looking at the sky. I asked him if he was crying and he said it was only the rain, although it had already stopped raining a long while before. Then he said that "Devils never cry." I then said something like: "Maybe somewhere out there, even a devil may cry when he loses a loved one. Don't you think?" I think that's what inspired him, even though he never said anything about it. And you know... he still has the cut glove he wore back then."

I started walking again without a word. So my little brother had named his shop while thinking about me, huh? This time, I didn't fight the smile that tugged at my lips. It was just too much like him to do something like that. The following days, I searched all over for the traces of the white rabbit. My demonic powers would have been a great help, but as it was, I had to do without them. My twin stayed in my mind at every minute and I could feel something I hadn't felt since we were little kids: love. Oh, I had never really stopped caring about him, despite the way I treated him since we were teenagers, but it hadn't been the same giddy feeling as when we were little. We were always together back then and he often came to sleep with me on my own bed because he was somewhat of a scaredy-cat. I never really got around to tell him why I had wanted to start that physical relationship with him, and it would probably stay my secret forever. But as I killed demon after demon, making as though I was him even though I used Yamato instead of his overgrown sword or twin guns, but I hinted to the people I saved that they could find "me" at the Devil May Cry. When I finally picked up the trace of that damn creature, I think about a dozen people had gone to pay him for his "kindness". I started hunting the white rabbit after I picked up his trace again, and it kept me too occupied to continue the comedy. That damn rodent had somehow managed to travel to the edge of town and hide itself there. Every time I was about to corner it, it slipped out into some emergency exit he had planned in advance. It frustrated me and I almost came to wonder why I insisted, but I never stopped trying. After all, I had to catch it. It was the only creature that could lead to the rabbit's hole that led to Wonderland. After all, he had been the one to dig it, even if it was an order from the Queen of Hearts. Alice never got to understand that in the story. And I had to point it out to my brother every time I read him that story, too. I often wondered if he remembered all those times we sat on my bed and I read stories to him. I couldn't deny I had been pretty fond of those times. He would just sit down beside me, lean his head on my shoulder and listen without uttering the slightest sound as I read books after books to him. The rest of the time he would run around, he would be loud and obnoxious, but when I was reading to him, he wouldn't move a muscle. So much that he often fell asleep against my shoulder while listening to me reading aloud. Mom would sometimes peek in our room and smile fondly at us then, and leave to do whatever mothers do while their kids play. I never really came around to asking her what she was doing all day while we played together. And now she was dead and I could never get the answer, but it was alright. I still had my brother. My dearest little twin brother, who had mourned me for a decade. I had to make it up to him. I had to tell him it had taken a lot out of me to go against him in order to get our father's power. I had to tell him it had been because I was trying to find myself. I was trying to find somewhere to belong. But now I knew I couldn't find it without his help. I'd never get it done as a human and I needed him to get my demonic powers back. I needed to be in his company for a while. I needed to hear my name out uttered by his mouth. I needed to know he still considered me as his dearest big brother. I was scared, dammit! Scared because I had nowhere to return to, scared because I couldn't rely on my strength alone anymore. It had been my only support through all the years I had been cruel to him. I had only relied on my strength, because I was the oldest and our father wasn't coming back. I had been insecure since he left, and I already couldn't remember him clearly. How many years had it been? I didn't know. And I guess he wouldn't know either. He had always clung to our mother's skirts more than to our father. I, on the contrary, had always clung to our father more. But that was now in the past and all that mattered to me now was to get back to him and get my name back. But in order to do that, I had to capture that white rabbit.

* * *

I groaned as I rolled over on my side. I looked at my left hand and flexed it tentatively. It responded as it was supposed to, even shooting pain up my arm due to my earlier injury. I sighed in relief, resting my head on the cold tiles of the bathroom floor. Once more, I had barely escaped being controlled by the bastards who had stolen my name, though this time I hadn't had to smash my hand against something. But the fact that it had tried to strangle me worried me. If I lost consciousness while they were trying to take over me, what would happen then? It was a scary thought. I frowned at that thought. Decidedly, the recent events made me experience a lot of fear. I looked up at Nero, who looked either about to cuddle me, or run away screaming.

I chuckled and pulled him down beside me. "You know, I haven't been fucked this good in a long time!", I said lightly.

He tried resisting me a little, but soon gave up and just lay down on his side, facing me. I could see worry and guilt in his eyes. "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me... It's just... my Devil Bringer started twitching when you got into the shower and... I couldn't control myself..." Was that why his Devil Bringer was twitching madly, before?

I put a finger to his lips. "You saved me, Nero. The bastards who erased my name manage to forcefully get into my body when I think of my brother too much. Just now... I wasn't careful and they were about to succeed in taking over, but you came in, immobilized the hand they were already controlling and somehow drove them out," I told him, deciding he had a right to know the truth. I sighed and rolled on my back. "It's unbearable... I can't even think or reminisce about my twin without putting us all into danger..."

He grabbed my left hand softly. "Is that why you're hurt?", he said, ghosting his fingers on my bullet wound. "In an attempt to drive them out forcefully?"

"Yeah... and at the same time it showed us that my healing capabilities had dropped drastically. Heck, it's just slightly faster that a human's! If I get shot in the head, I might just not survive it. It's maddening."

"I still shouldn't have-"

"Nero," I interrupted him. "Stop it with your guilt. At least this time I won't forget. That's what you should be telling yourself. I thought you had a thing for me."

"I do! It's just-"

"Then stop beating yourself about it. You're a man, for fuck's sake, and still a teenager on top of it! I always wondered why you weren't running around fucking everything living. At your age, if what happened hadn't happened, that's what I would have done. I've been a regular at Love Planet for many years, you know, until they shut down about ten years ago. I can understand sexual frustration, so there's no need for you to apologize or feel guilty about it." What was I saying? Hadn't I been fiercely opposed to having sex with him? I didn't understand myself anymore.

And he didn't seem to understand either, because his browns furrowed. "Since when are you okay with this? Weren't you against it? What happened? Why have you changed your mind? This isn't like you at all."

I sighed and passed my right hand through my hair. "I don't know myself. But since thinking of my brother proves to be dangerous, I guess I should make more efforts to move on. Your safety matters to me more than memories, even if I might not have shown it. It's just... he was my twin brother... my other half... he wasn't just a simple brother. You have to understand that," I told him, closing my eyes and trying to hold back the tears as pain assailed my heart. The wound was still there, after all, and it would take a long time to heal, even if he really did come back to me.

I flinched as I felt the kid wrap his arms around me and pull me close. "I'm not so full of myself as to pretend I can understand that feeling, because I can't. But I can try and imagine how it must have been to lose half of yourself. I'd probably feel the same way if I lost my Devil Bringer, or if Fortuna disappeared off the map, or if... you disappeared, or maybe all these together. It must be a pretty devastating loss. But don't keep it all to yourself. Tell me about it. I care about you more than is probably healthy, and seeing you suffer in silence alone in your corner hurts me a lot. So let me in and don't keep it all to yourself. Ok?"

I smiled a little and nodded, not trusting my voice to utter my agreement without trembling or, worse, breaking. This kid really was something. It was amazing I hadn't noticed sooner, really. Had I been blind all this time? After that, he helped me shave – oh, what a dreadful activity – and we dressed back up in time to greet Trish and Lady back. While eating, we discussed what had happened while we were separated. It seemed the rabbit wasn't in the basement of that old shop anymore, if it had really been there. As for Enzo, he remembered that last mission I had done while dealing with him. And after a little persuasion on Trish's part, he finally told her that he had had the job from some shady guy giving him an envelope, saying it was a job for me. Also, the guy seemed to have gotten over his drinking problem and had lost some weight, but he was still as lecherous, from what I understood of his description by Trish. Also, he seemed to now work in a small office as the secretary of some small-time business man or something. I really could care less. But apparently Enzo couldn't remember what the shady guy who delivered the job looked like. Our next lead was that old manor where I had gone to "retrieve" Alice and met the Mad Hatter and the March Hare. The girls went to investigate the next day, but not only didn't they find anything interesting, but also it had been ransacked and was scheduled for demolition a couple of days later. We didn't have any more leads now. As the days went by, the girls tried studying Alice in Wonderland and other books referring to it. The people coming to deliver thank you presents were quite a few, too, until they suddenly stopped coming entirely. Their coming had meant that my twin was in the area, though I couldn't exactly think of why he would kill demons and save humans, maybe even send them to me so that I'd get the gifts in his stead or something. It wasn't like him at all. He hated humans and was obsessed by power, so why would he do that? When the people stopped coming, fear gripped my guts. Had something happened to him? Had he had a change of heart? Thoughts of him swarmed my mind and I had another "attack", which resulted in my recently-healed hand getting another few broken bones. As for my relationship with the kid... well... we kept it to what it had originally been. That is to say we didn't have sex again and we almost tried avoiding physical contact, but we kept on bickering, as Trish called it. I can't deny his mere presence made me nervous and tense, as though I was anticipating something to happen between us, but nothing ever happened. It was starting to drive me mad, really, when one day I woke before him with a raging morning erection. The girls weren't in the shop, they had gone to Lady's apartment or something, to further study the books in peace. I got down the stairs in the first pair of pants I found, without even taking the time to button them up, and went towards the bathroom. The kitty was still sleeping upstairs with Nero. But just as I was about to open the bathroom's door, I froze. There was someone else in the room. My senses had dulled with the lessening of my powers, but there was still one person I could feel: my twin. And he was right behind my back, probably not even a step away. I cursed myself for having failed to sense or notice him beforehand, but I didn't dare move. Our rivalry was something dangerous when we couldn't easily die of the injuries we inflicted on each other, but now that we were both mostly human...

I felt his breath on the nape of my neck and fought a shiver that tried to run up my spine. "Been a while. I hope you got my... invitation to the party," growled my brother's voice in my ear.

I tried forcing a smirk on my lips as I stayed absolutely still. I had no idea what was running through his mind, and I was absolutely unarmed, having left Ivory on my bedside table and Ebony under my pillow. Rebellion and the other weapons were scattered throughout the shop, just not near the door to the bathroom. I should have thought to hide one there. I felt vulnerable, with him behind my back like that, most probably armed and dangerous. Wait, isn't that the title of a movie?

"I got it alright, and I hope this time you'll hold your word," I retorted, trying to act like the smartass I always tried to be in front of him. And I also wanted to try and cool the atmosphere, in the hopes of getting an opportunity to dart and grab a weapon. "Last time's party hadn't exactly been a bang."

He clicked his tongue and I felt his tense as he also stayed still. "Well I see you haven't wasted your time while waiting for me...", I heard him mutter under his breath. I could hear venom dripping from his voice. "Don't worry, this time I've taken the time to plan it all. There will be food..." he grabbed my arm "There will be drinks..." he spun me around "And there will be women," he slammed me against the wall and I hissed. He never really took much notice of his physical strength...

I tried getting free from his hold, but it was useless and I knew it. If he wanted me to stay still somewhere, there was nothing I could ever do to go against that. I decided to confront him point blank. "What do you mean I haven't wasted my time?"

He glared daggers at me. "You stink of another man," he growled dangerously.

I glared right back. "You stink of decay and demons. Have I said anything against it?"

"That isn't what we're talking about here."

"Then what _are_ we talking about? Me curing my loneliness in your absence? I thought it'd be more productive to talk about your selfishness. You really think I haven't thought once of that day where you fucking held back on me?"

He frowned. "That was year ago."

"You sound pretty mighty for someone who couldn't even remember his looks until a few weeks ago."

In the blink of an eye, I found myself with the blade of Yamato against my throat. He brought he face closer to mine and I hissed as he slid softly the blade over my skin. I felt the distinctive burn of the flesh being cut, but he pulled his sword away and licked at the blood that started oozing from the cut. This time, I couldn't hold back the shiver. It shook me all over and I couldn't forbid my hands from burying in his hair. I had almost forgotten this feeling of painful pleasure. The kind only your other half, and I don't mean that in the romantic sense, can give you. He knew everything I liked. He knew everything he liked. He knew once it started I couldn't stop myself from wanting ever _more_. Because there's nothing like the taste of the forbidden fruit. Incest. Yes, that was the first, if not main appeal to that kind of relationship when he approached me and decided to get it on. I had wanted to explore this special bond between the two of us, a bond only identical twin brothers share. We are one and the same, yet the two opposite faces of the same coin. There was just something when he sucked at my collarbone, when he undid my pants, when he bit down into my neck as he entered me that enthralled me. I was hooked on the feeling of having _him_ inside me. The kid was good, but _this_... The kid... The kid was sleeping upstairs. In my bed. After having been in my ass before we went to sleep. Guilt. That bitch had showed her ugly face again. And even though I was beyond bliss for finally being reunited with my brother, I felt like I was betraying Nero. Yet now that I was allowed to finally focus on my brother completely in what had seemed like an eternity, I couldn't hold back. This, after all, was what I had been waiting for all these years. I had been waiting for my twin to come back to me and hold me into his arms. To whisper in my hear in that husky growl that I was _his_, to ram into me with all his strength, not being careful because he knew it'd take more than that to break me, yet kissing the deep bite mark in my shoulder almost lovingly, raising his head to kiss me passionately before biting my tongue and purring as we both tasted the blood. How demons make love, because I couldn't see what else it could be, with us connected so deeply I practically felt like I was the one buried to the hilt and I knew he practically felt he was the one being pounded into. It had always been like that. It was the one moment we felt the same about the same thing and we never argued or tried hurting the other while doing it. I loved it. I hated it. I loved him beyond words and I hated him so much I wanted to strangle him on the spot. My best enemy of a brother. And when it's over, we just lay there for a couple of minutes, basking in the afterglow because neither of us has the strength nor the will to move, and although I'd always been the type to want to snuggle, he'd get up when he had caught his breath and go about his daily routine without bothering about me. But this time was different. He laid me down on the floor and laid beside me, and pulled me to his chest to snuggle. I was overcome with happiness. This was what I had always wanted. I could feel his heart beating against mine as I stretched and gave him a lazy kiss. We stayed there a long while, just listening to each other's breathing, planning our next course of action, perhaps. Because this wasn't something ordinary. This was our reunion, this was the first time he had let me snuggle and this was our time together.

But I knew I'd have to face reality and a heartbroken kid soon.

* * *

I felt good. I felt at peace. For some reason, all my nervousness, all my tension had just melted away. I knew it wasn't like me even before I let him cuddle with me, but I didn't care. I had the right to do it. I had the right to be selfish and want some of the love my twin brother always kept in store for me whether I needed it or not. It soothed my wounded soul, it appeased my wounded pride. I wasn't someone else's toy, I took my own decisions and although they weren't necessarily good, and my motives were more than a little questionable, I felt at peace. I would never before have thought my stupid, weak brother would ever be the one to make me feel that, although it really was all my fault. I was the older brother. I had to take care of him and make sure he didn't do anything too rash or stupid or reckless or... way too cute for his own good. What made me mad, though, was the smell that had been on him when I could finally get close to him once more. The smell of another man. More precisely, the smell of that kid I had told to deliver a message. I wanted him to tell me all that had happened while I was gone, but that would probably be too direct. I didn't do direct very well. And I knew he didn't either, though he was better at it than I. At least that's how it was many years ago, before Mundus attacked us, before I left him alone. Before I jumped off that stupid cliff. I knew he still resented me for having held back and then run away, but I couldn't help it back then. I wanted to take care of Mundus before he came back for him, but apparently I hadn't been nearly strong enough to defeat him. I had lost. I had put my dear twin in danger. I had abandoned him and left him on his own in the big, wild world. Yes, I was reputed for being cool, calm and collected to the point of being cold and heartless, but although it was true my brother had a much bigger heart than me and I reminded him of that often, I did have a heart. A heart full of him, because I hadn't found anything else that had the property of filling it so completely that it kept most everything else out. A blessing as well as a curse, for it also gave me one extremely big weakness. If something bad were to happen to him and I wasn't directly the cause of it, I'd throw a fit and torture to death the bastard who made him suffer. I had to admit now and then to having a slight brother complex, but I took comfort in the knowledge that he felt the same. How could it have been otherwise? We rarely thought alike, we even more rarely acted alike since we had made sure to pick up different habits from each other when we were together, we had different priorities and different tastes in mostly everything, but we were alike. I knew we considered each other the same way. For the thousandth time since my memory had come back to me, I regretted having parted with him in such a manner, but I wasn't about to tell him that.

"What were you doing during all those years? I thought you were... that I had...", he whispered in my ear, snuggling a little closer. "And you're acting so different now..."

We were skin to skin and it was good. "I'm still the same, brother. Stop spewing nonsense or you'll break the mood. Must I remind you I am not too keen on cuddling?", I growled to him low, closing my eyes and trying to concentrate on my sated state and in the well-being of finally being this close to him without hostility. Oh, hostility between us was like crack to junkies. We couldn't refrain from being at each other's throats before and I knew it would always be that way. It gave us an adrenaline boost and we were addicted to it, this constant aggression which had often led to us tearing our clothes and trying not to break down the nearest wall, or just rolling on the ground, all teeth out and completely erect. It was twisted, but that was the way it was, and probably the way it would always be.

He stayed in what seemed to be a contemplative silence for a while, his nose brushing against the skin of my neck, his fingers tracing random patterns on the opposite shoulder. I wouldn't admit to it, but I suddenly thought it was true there was a certain appeal to cuddling, as it seemed to hold relaxing properties. But just as that thought crossed my mind, stumbling steps echoed from upstairs and the door to the corridor was thrown open. We both jumped in surprise and I reach for Yamato in reflex as we sat up. That kid was standing at the top of the stairs with wide eyes and was staring at us in surprise.

But his surprise quickly changed to anger and he jumped down. "What is he doing here!" His eyes were drilling holes into me, but I just took my time to get up and gather my clothes.

My brother, on the other hand, quickly grabbed his pants and put them on hastily, even losing balance and almost falling back down as he was struggling with one of the pants' legs. Once properly clothed, I turned an icy stare to the one who had dared interrupt my time. "I'm here to claim what has always been rightfully mine. Besides, I should ask you the same question. What is a weakling such as you doing anywhere near my twin? You'll make him even weaker than he already is."

He tried punching me, but my brother quickly grabbed him around the middle and held him off. "Stop it! As much as I really think the fight would be interesting, these aren't good conditions! Nero, my brother is as human as I right now! You'd kill him!", he reminded the youngster.

I huffed and crossed my arms, deciding to go and sit on that velvet couch. My brother had some taste concerning furnishings, though that's about where his good taste ended. I particularly liked the jukebox in the corner. Very classy. "Take this opportunity to save your ass, kid. Once I get my name back, I won't hesitate to slash your throat if you upset me again. And I haven't come here to fight,"I said, crossing my legs and looking at the both of them levelly. I didn't like how close they looked.

They both raised an eyebrow at me, the kid more suspiciously than my twin. "Huh?", they both uttered at the same time and I could have laughed at how stupid they looked like that together if I was in a lighter mood.

"I brought the white rabbit,"I simply said, sure my brother would understand and not caring if the other got it. This was a business only the two of us were needed to take care of, after all, and that kid would only be a third wheel. "We'll go down as soon as you're ready, so get to it. I don't want to spend another night nameless."

I'd have to find a way to get that kid out of my brother's life as soon as I got my name and powers back.

* * *

I was sitting on my bed, elbows on knees and head in hands. My brother was back. Really back. I hadn't killed him back on Mallet Island. I lifted my head and stared at our father's sword, which I had sealed against the opposite wall. That seal made it so that I was the only one who could see and touch it. It contained some of our father's power. But thinking about it painfully reminded me that my brother had wanted our father's power so much he hadn't cared about sacrificing the whole human world to get it. His mood had always been pretty volatile, but I feared this tranquility, this moment of respite would soon all blow up to pieces. Probably as soon as he got his name back. But I had to admit I was positively surprised at his behavior since he came back. He hadn't been too rough and he had let me cuddle. I didn't know what to think anymore. I couldn't have them both and I knew it. The problem was to choose between my other half or Nero, and that is where the core of my dilemma laid.


	4. Chapter 4

**I know I don't usually put an author's note in this fic, but I have to now.**

**First off, I'd like to appologize to you readers for the agonizingly long wait. I didn't plan this and I swear I wanted to update this story sooner, but...**

**Well, first off, almost half a year ago, something happened in my personnal life and it was quite on the traumatic side. For about a month afterward, I've been bedridden for various reasons (excluding physical injury) and let's just say my mental capacities at that time weren't at the best. I've tried continuing this fanfiction since, but I have miserably failed, so I've been putting it on hold. Maybe it was due to the fact that I was dutifully working on this at the time of the event... I have no idea... I don't wanna go in details, so I'll leave it at that.**

**Second, well... I was writing this on my computer and the file was on a USB key, right? But I was careless and the file got corrupted one day when I pulled it out too early or something of that nature. Don't shed tears! Only the first scene and a half were lost. The rest was written down in a notebook since, well... notebooks are easier to carry around than 17'' computers, yeah? Unfortunately, re-writing isn't my forte, so it clogged my inspiration for a while. But a few days ago, I finally managed to re-write what had been lost, and I decided that the waiting had gone on long enough.**

**Originally, this fourth part was supposed to mark the end, and to be followed by an extra, or epilogue, reflecting the votes you readers have made on the poll in my profile. Unfortunately, as I have said, I haven't been able to continue yet, and so it isn't finished yet. The ideas are there in my head, I just... haven't been able to write them down yet. I'm carrying my notebook around in case it comes to me, but I can't say for sure the next part will be for anytime soon. Once more, I appologize. Please enjoy this fourth part to Repentance anyway. Oh, and if you haven't voted yet, there's still time. And if you wish to change your vote... say so and I'll see what I can do.**

* * *

"What were you thinking!", yelled Lady.

We were both in the bathroom, while the others waited in the other room. I had called the girls to tell them the news and they had hurried over. I didn't budge as she hit me again. As soon as they had arrived, Lady had dragged me in the bathroom to scold me. I let her hit me a couple more times. I knew she was angry, and I believed she had every right to be. I mean... I felt pretty ashamed of myself, too. I had something good happen to me for once. It was going great with the kid, we were really getting there together... but then my twin showed up and I spread my legs to him without a second thought. Just like the whore I'd always been around him. I felt dirty. I felt awful. I knew Lady was hitting me because we all knew Nero would never do it, and I deserved to be hit. She hit me one more time, harder, and this time the blow made me lose my balance and I stumbled, tripping over my own feet and falling to the ground. I stayed there a moment as her ragged breaths echoed on the walls.

"What were you thinking?", she asked again, this time naught more than an accusing whisper.

I considered the question a moment as I once more got to my feet, keeping my head low. "Nothing," I answered feebly. She raised her head and threw a puzzled look at me, but I didn't budge. "I wasn't thinking at all. What's between him and me... it's never been anything rational. I know that. I know it's only hurting me, and I know now it's hurting Nero, too. And it's all my fault. I know that. But..."

"The why did you do it!", she asked, cutting me off. "Don't you dare try and tell me you didn't just have sex with your twin. Nero looks mortified, your brother is gloating and you've got that whole afterglow look about you. I can't be mistaken."

"You're not mistaken. But... try putting yourself in my shoes for a moment. What were you expecting me to do? If I refuse him, if I push him away... he might as well leave and disappear again, and this time for good. I know I'm being unfair, but... I'm not prepared yet. I'm not prepared to lose him again, Lady. But I promise you... I'll make up my mind before this whole mess is over. Just... give me a little more time to sort out my thoughts and feelings, please..."

She looked at me in silence for a moment, before sighing in defeat. "Do what you want, it's not like I can do anything, anyway. Just remember that if you wait too much you might lose the kid, and he won't be coming back like your brother has always done."

With that, she walked around me and left the bathroom. Leaving me behind. I sighed, passing a trembling hand in my hair. I knew that. I knew I had to hurry up and decide on a course of action, but... I felt like I'd break if I suffered another loss. Shaking my head softly, I pushed the matter to the back of my mind. First, I had to deal with the matter at hand, namely my twin's arrival and what he said he had "brought". I took a deep breath, and left the bathroom. Trish was reclining in my chair, Lady had her arms crossed as she leaned against my chair, and Nero and my brother sat on the couch, as far from each other as physically possible. With a sigh, I understood I had no choice but to take a seat between them.

I did so and entwineed my fingers together, my elbows on my knees. "You all know what happened and what's at hand, right?", I asked them as the kitty cat appeared before me in his cat form and forced his way to my lap.

They all nodded their heads.

"Though I don't see why we had to wait for them," said my twin between his teeth. "It would be way faster if we went just the both of us."

"In case you've forgotten, we're as good as human, now," I reminded him gravely, feeling irritation as his selfishness ans haughtiness showed their ugly mugs. I hated when he acted all self-righteous. "I'm pretty sure this whole thing, including your presence here, is all a trap, and I have no intention to fall for it without a fight. Though as it presently stands, I can't offer much of a fight in my present state. Nero, Trish and Lady are all excellent demon hunters I trust above all else and if nothing else, they are dear friends of mine. Things have changed in the years we've been separated, brother. I have changed. I don't care if you wish to accept it or not, but I'll have you know I'm letting you go by yourself if you continue being stupid and refuse to let them come. Anyone else has something to say?"

I saw the kid grit his teeth. "I don't like this one bit, be it the situation or his presence here, but I guess we've got no other choice. You sure we can trust him, Tony?"

I could see distress in his eyes. He was begging me to put a stop to this, to kick my twin out... but at the same time he knows this is how it ought to be. I was struggling with my feelings, as I could feel my heart bleeding, and it really was starting to give me a headache.

"We don't exactly have any other lead," I sighed in answer, petting the kitty. "Though they may be waiting for us, down there, so I'd understand if you guys didn't want to come."

Trish straightened, crossing her arms, and Lady sighed. "Well, as you said, we don't exactly have a choice," said the brunette with a grimace. "If he says the truth and he really has caught that stupid rabbit or whatever that's supposed to lead to Wonderland, it'd be stupid to let this chance slip. At the rate things are going, those bastards might take control over you and it'll be too late to do anything. If it really is a trap, we'll just have to bust right through it."

"Lady is right," sighed the blonde. "And as you said, we're friends. I'm sure you plan on going whether we say we're going or not. We can't let you risk your life like that and do nothing."

"And I'd be going with you even if you told me not to," added Nero, glaring defiantly at my brother.

I nodded, glad they were all agreeing to accompany us. "There you have it, brother. So what's next?"

He let out an annoyed sigh. "Well although I loathe to admit it, you did make a valid point. And it's never been in any of my plans to die nameless. So I guess I have no choice but to accept this situation. For now."

I smiled. Temporary truce. I could work with that. "Excellent! Then let's go get 'em!"

I left the kitty cat at the shop. No way was I bringing him with us while knowing they probably wanted him dead for having acted without their permission. I could feel the girls and the kid tense with nervousness, but really I couldn't do much to appease them. I was racked by apprehension myself. No, not apprehension. Fear. Fear because during this ordeal I'd have to make a decision. Fear because one wrong move could get us all killed. Fear because I felt there was something wrong about this whole deal. This was a trap, and we were walking right into it. I knew it even then, as my brother lead us through town and we followed him in silence. An ominous sense of foreboding. Something bad was going to happen. Yet there was nothing, absolutely nothing at all, that I could do to prevent it. I knew it, and that knowledge terrified me. After about an hour's walk, we came to an abandoned hospital. A new one had been built the year before, a couple of streets away, and this one hadn't been demolished yet. It was in a part of town best described as the slums. The wind blew down the deserted streets around us, playing in my and my brother's coats, and it seemed to me it carried some insane laughter. We followed my twin inside the building and to the E.R., where a white rabbit looked at us with its wide, pink eyes in some sort of panic from the makeshift cage it was trapped in. The animal wore a waistcoat, just as I remembered from the book.

"So this really is the White Rabbit...", I wondered aloud as my brother approached it alone.

"Release me at once! Or I shall be late, late, late!", cried the creature.

"Stuff it, furrball," growled my twin as he bent down. "You're already too fucking late. So late, in fact, that I had to come fetch you to make sure you'd actually do your job. And you had the guts to run away from me, too."

"Please don't tell her Majesty! Or my head will roll!", pleaded the rodent.

"I don't care what happens to you once we get there," said my twin as he opened the cage and, swift as lightning, caught the animal by the scruff of its neck before it could escape. "But you better take us to your hole or I'll personally make sure your head gets sepperated from your shoulders. And I think sending postcards to the rest of your body will be the least of your worries."

The creature gulped quite audibly while nodding its head in understanding. "Alright! Put me down, I'll show you down the rabbit's hole!"

My brother did as he was told and immediately the rodent darted away. We gave chase right away, all the way to the top floor before losing sight of it as it entered a room at the end of a corridor. I threw the door open, but the room was empty. Completely void of life and furnitures, except a giant, dark hole in a corner. As I approached it, I saw this hole wasn't possible. It should have lead to the floor below, the next room and outside, but instead it was a tunnel of dirt that seemed to stretch on an on into darkness. In silence, my twin went in first and I followed him. We crawled on all four for a while. It got so dark that I couldn't even see my own nose. Suddenly, my heart jumped to my throat. My hand met thin air, and before I could stop myself, I toppled in the gaping hole under me. I fell and fell in the darkness. Misshappen shadows danced all around me and suddenly oil lamps all around got turned on. The shadows turned out to be furnitures of all kinds, falling with me, though slower. I saw a bed, a table, a rocking chair... I was shocked, and didn't expect the impact of the end of my fall at all. I landed in a pile of dried tree leaves, and it knocked the wind out of me. I blacked out for a moment.

* * *

I didn't expect the fall at all. It surprised me, but most surprising was that although the old man had been right in front of me, I hadn't heard him falling, or even crying out in surprise. What was going on? It seemed to me the fall lasted forever. I even wondered if it might be a dream, but usually when doing a dream in which we fall, we wake up immadiately, right? So this couldn't be a dream. Under me, I saw a light that seemed to be getting closer and closer. My chest filled with some fear as the prospect of the impact dawned on me. I was pretty sure I could survive it, but it would hurt, that's for certain. I prepared for the impact, but cried out in surprise as what met me wasn't solid surface, as I'd first thought, but some sort of sponge-like matter. By the time I had gained back my countenance, I was lying on my back and the ground under me was solid as marble. What was going on? I got up wobbily and looked around. Above me, I could see an upside-down room, with doors of all kinds lining the walls. But how could I reach it? Then I focused on the source of light. It was some sort of man sith butterfly wings, and he emitted a bright glow that illuminated the whole room. He was tied to the floor by metal threads and turned his head to me as I took a tentative step closer. I froze, surprised. So he was alive after all. Maybe he could tell me of a way to find the others, since they obviously weren't here with me.

"Hey," I greeted tentatively. He blinked, but otherwise didn't show any sign of having heard me. "Excuse me?"

"You are excused," he retorted, turning his head away.

I frowned. What the hell? "Um, I have to find my friends. Have you seen them?"

"Are you lost?"

I raised an eyebrow at him as he turned his head back to me. "Um... I guess?"

"Do you just guess or are you sure? I don't have time to waste on indecisive people."

I frowned deeper, but decided against getting angry at him. "Ok, yeah, I'm lost. Can you help me?"

"Oh dear, of course not!", he replied, surprised. "You might get me lost, too!"

I stared purposefully at the threads tying him down. "And how, pray tell, might I get you lost? Unless you haven't noticed, you're all tied up."

He crossed his arms with a defiant air. "Say there's a man in a forest and he gets lost. He meets a hicker and asks him for help. Together they stray from the hicker's path, and they both become lost. As such, someone that is lost can get the people trying to help them lost too!"

I was getting annoyed. "Alright, then just tell me how to get out of here!", I growled at him.

"By that door, of course!", he said, pointing up to one of the doors I had seen. "You're getting annoying with those stupid questions of yours."

"And you're getting annoying with that rude tone of voice. How am I supposed to get to those doors, anyway? It's way up there and we're way down here!"

"You mean it's way down there and you're way up here. Don't mix things up. You just have to get down, nothing too complicated. Unless you're too stupid to know how to get down, of course. But then you have to wonder how you ever got up here if you don't know how to get down. Are you a cat or something?"

Suddenly came the sound of a wet mass hitting the ground from above me, then came coughing. I looked up, startled, and a grin came to my lips upon recognizing a familiar figure. It was the old man, or at least I thought it was. But before I could do anything, gravity seemed to decide that humans really did not belong on the ceiling and I fell... right on the newcomer. The first thing I noticed was that these weren't the old man's clothes that the silver-haired newcomer was wearing, though the feel of the body underneath felt sensibly the same as the old man's. The second thing I noticed was how wet he was. In fact, there was a puddle of water under us and water was seeping into my clothes. Not that it didn't feel kinda good to feel his strong body against mine even through our clothes, but I also had to consider my third observation: the murderous glare aimed at me.

His eyebrows came together with a sort of elegance that the old man couldn't pull off. "You've got three seconds to get off me before I cut your head off," he growled in a voice not quite identical to the old man's, especially in the tone and pitch. He never sounded quite as homicidal. I quickly got back to my feet and watched as he did the same with grace. "First I almost drown in a waterfall, then I get squashed by a stupid human." His eyes fell on my Devil Bringer. "Correction: stupid almost-human. Now tell me, what are you doing here and where is my brother?"

Now I couldn't have any doubts: this wasn't the old man. With that blue coat and that cruel gaze, I couldn't be mistaken. He did look like alike, but the more I looked at him, the more differences I found. The posture, for one, was completely different. The way he raised a hand to place his hair in what I assumed was his usual hairdo seemed almost aristocratic, even though I had never seen an aristocrat before. It was almost as though one had been raised on the streets and the other in a rich family. Though I can't say I didn't find any appeal in the old man's twin. That would be a big, fat lie. He was sexy and gorgeous, but I felt as though he could be as treacherous and deadly as those frogs I had met back in Fortuna, though WAY more dangerous and powerful. This small attraction I felt for him was as thrilling as imagining myself playing with fire. Even as we both stood there, facing each other, I knew that one wrong move and I'd be done for. I had somewhat the same feeling with the old man, but it was more tame, as though I still felt danger but I knew it would never really hurt me. But I felt an intriguing weakness in the both of them; a great fear that made them vulnerable. I had yet to learn what it was for the old man, so I greatly doubted I could find what it was for his twin, but I knew that fear was there and it puzzled me. They were... unbeatable, from what I had been able to see so far and from what I had heard. What could they possibly fear? I froze as I felt the tip of a sword against my throat and looked the old man's twin in the eyes.

He was glaring at me icily, looking very annoyed. "I'm asking one last time. What are you doing here and where is my brother?"

I crossed my arms, a little annoyed myself at his tone of voice. Was there something in the air of this place that made people act like jerks? "I'm obviously lost, and I have no idea where Tony is, if you absolutely have to know. And by the looks of you, I'd say you don't know where Trish and Lady are either," I answered him.

His frown deepened, but he put away his sword and looked around, probably to evaluate our surroundings. "Why must you be fond of my brother? Everything wouldn't have been half as complicated if you had left him alone," he said, walking towards one of the many doors covering the walls and opening it, only to find bricks beyond. "As I thought. Same room. This one should be right..."

"What do you mean I should have left him alone? He would have committed suicide if I hadn't been there to save him! Without considering what could have happened down in that old shop when he discovered the seal that was used to erase your name! And what would have happened if I hadn't been there when they erased his name too, huh? Seeing the number of times my mere presence saved him, I think the one who doesn't belong by his side is you! After all, you two are twin brothers! That's against nature!"

He tried to open the small door the fairy had pointed to me, but it wouldn't budge. "I have my own reasons and it's not like one of us was a woman anyway. "No incest" is really more of a human society norm in this case," he said as he went to the glass table and picked up a small key. He then examined the label on the vial I had seen earlier. It read: "Drink me."

I couldn't believe what he was saying. "You're kidding me, right?", I asked him.

"I'm always serious. Now what I don't understand is how my twin ever gave you a chance. I know him very well and judging by what you told me of his behaviour after my disappearance and false-death, he wouldn't have fallen into your arms just like that."

I frowned as he turned to glare at me. "Now wait a minute! You think I forced him?"

"By the way he was trying his best to appease the both of us and the sorry glances he kept throwing your way, I'd say you raped him, he remembered how good it was to be held and fell for your body because we've got similar hair and eyes."

"You've got it all wrong, pal! He was the one doing the raping the first time. That was just before his name got completely erased. And before you throw another otherworldly assumption, he thought I was you at that moment. Afterward I was avoiding him because I was rightfully heartbroken and the girls tried everything to cheer me up. When he got his memory back, just thinking about you allowed the bastards to try and take over his body. When i saw his own left arm trying to strangle him, I tackled and immobilized him on the ground. For some reason, he reacted and without thinking, I took him. I felt guilty afterward but he told me not to and that's what happened. After that, we just slept in the same bed."

"And?"

I froze, dumbfounded, and raised an eyebrow at him. "What do you mean 'and'?"

"And what do you want me to make of this story? I'm not sure whether you're seeking praises or pity from me."

"What!"

"The second part of your story clearly shows what I said earlier: you forced him, he remembered how good it felt to be fucked and he fell in love with your body. Though it's the first part I don't really get. What's your point in telling me you've kept on saving him ever since you arrived in his shop? Do you have some kind of knight in shining armor syndrome?"

I opened my mouth to answer him, but I couldn't find anything to say to that. It is true that I had somewhat prided myself in the fact that I was like the old man's savior. And now that he pointed to it, it was shaming me a little. As for what he had said about Tony not really accepting me... I didn't believe him. I didn't want to believe him, but... what if he was right? What if the small hope I had felt was all a lie? I could almost feel the pieces of my heart fall one by one as that possibility broke it.

"And if it was to try and put all the wrong my leaving did to him back in my face, know that that woman in shorts already gave me an earful. But as I said earlier, I have my own reasons. Now if this conversation is over, take a good gulp of this," he handed me the glass vial. "When you have, hand it back to me quickly."

I eyed the vial cautiously, trying to clear my head and forget my emotional agony for now. "You sure we can trust some unknown vial filled with unknown liquid and simply labeled 'Drink me'? You sure this isn't some kind of poison?"

He sighed in what I guessed to be annoyance. "If you mean by "poison" that it affects your physical conditions, then yes, it is poison. Though if you mean by "poison" a substance that can cause death if ingested, then no. Either way, we have no choice if we want to move on. If you absolutely refuse to drink it, I'll drink alone and go find my brother on my own, though I know from experience that he would give me an earful for abandoning one of his friends behind in some unknown and potentially dangerous environment. So drink or stay behind."

That didn't really give me any choice, so I decided to do as he told me to. I took a gulp from the vial and handed it back to him immediately. Just in time, too, because although that unknown liquid tasted quite wonderful, I felt strange right away. I was light-headed and kinda sick to my stomach. I didn't know what was going on and so I closed my eyes and waited it out, hoping this unease wouldn't last long. To my utter surprise, it really only lasted about half a minute, or that's what it seemed to me, at least, and when I opened my eyes again, the old man's twin was still in front of me, though farther away from me than he had been earlier. What struck me even more, though, was that everything else around me had changed. No, not really changed, more like WAY bigger. Then it clicked that instead of everything else around us getting bigger, it was more likely that we had been the ones to shrink. So the liquid in that vial must have been some kind of shrinking potion. I watched as the other guy went towards a small box lying near one of the legs of the glass table and picked it up.

He took a look inside, then closed it again and walked towards the small door. He unlocked it with the key he had found on the table and opened it. Beyond lay a dark-purple-colored corridor, ending with some kind of mirror that didn't reflect us but seemed to be some kind of gateway instead. "I figured it would be too easy if it was just like in the book... Come on, you! I want to find my brother and get my name back as soon as possible!", he growled at me as he started down the corridor.

I glared at his back as I followed him half-heartedly. "My name isn't "you"! It's Nero. And where are we going, anyway? Where is this leading?"

"The question is where is this not leading, more like. As for your other stupid question, our first objective is to reach the castle of the Queen of Hearts, who rules over Wonderland with her half-pint king. Even if the seals aren't there, we should find a clue as to where to search for them next. Now if you have any more foolish questions, keep them to yourself for they annoy me."

And he could care less about my name, of course, but I didn't make that comment out loud. I simply followed him down the corridor and stopped as he did in front of the mirror. On the other side seemed to be some kind of gigantic chess board on a pitch-black background. I watched as he went through silently, then just as I was about to follow-suit, I froze because the scenery on the other side of the mirror had changed completely. It now seemed more like a barren wasteland stretching beyond the horizon. Not exactly an inviting sight, but I didn't think there was any other way out. And the chances of someone else stumbling here again were, most likely, pretty close to zero. So I crossed to the other side. Once there, the first thing I noticed was that there was no mirror behind me anymore. The second thing I noticed was that there really didn't seem to be anything anywhere in sight. For the first time since being stuck as the heart of the "Savior", I felt utterly helpless and alone. A dreadful feeling...

* * *

That kid was really more than an annoyance. I'd even go as far as saying he was a royal pain in the ass in the metaphorical sense. Yet I wouldn't say I really absolutely loathed him. After all, my twin always had our father's strong sense of justice, so that stupid part-demon couldn't be all that bad. But what really ticked me off about him was his innocence, and the fact that he painfully reminded me of my brother and I so, so long ago. I couldn't say I couldn't understand why my brother had somewhat fallen for that hormonal disaster, but I still found it tasteless of him. I'd have to try and talk some sense in my twin when I found him. Because I would find him. When I crossed the mirror and it disappeared right behind me as it had after that damned waterfall, I had somewhat of a mixed feeling. I was both glad to have lost that ignorant fool and somewhat scared my twin would resent me for loosing his pup. Because what else could my own flesh and blood consider that handicap on two legs? Certainly not a lifetime lover. At least I hoped very hard he didn't... I shoved those thoughts to the back of my head and concentrated on where I had ended up. I could deal with my twin when I met him. For now, I had to focus on finding that damn castle. I stood in the middle of what seemed to be a giant chessboard, with the white tiles resembling thick ice over a body of water, and the black ones seeming to be black water, only it was all solid and smooth as polished marble. Beyond the chessboard on which I stood, I could see broken pieces of chessboards hanging in mid-air as if stopped in time. Suddenly began to appear before me Damned Chessmen, all lined up for a game, it seemed. I snorted in disdain and put a hand on Yamato, ready to take care of these weakling. One of the pawns changed color and took a small leap in my direction, then returned to black, its original color, once it was down. The other pawns did the same, one leap at a time. They were getting on my nerves, coming this slowly, but I still waited until they were at arm's length, near enough to ensure that Yamato would slash them up like butter before they could do anything about it. But as I went to cut them apart, Yamato bounced off of the dark material they were made of, and it made me lose my balance. I didn't understand what had just happened. My strength hadn't been reduced that much, had it? It couldn't be. But then again, demons weren't exactly keen on keeping their forms when they suddenly gained lots of power so they couldn't be stronger than the ones I had fought years before. Before I could continue my thought, I hit the ground and the pain of hitting my elbow on the chessboard resonated all through my arm and numbed my grip on Yamato. I suddenly heard a demented laugh before seeing the Queen ready to rush at me. It seemed to me I couldn't get to my feet fast enough. Was this going to be the end of me? Would the story of the eldest son of Sparda end with such an uninteresting turn of events? If the Queen seemed to come at me in slow motion, I, on the other hand, felt paralyzed. Petrified by shock and fear. The fear of never seeing the only person who was still and would always be dearest to me in the whole wide world, and way beyond.

Many, many years ago, when we were still little boys, the disappearance of our father was a hard blow to my heart. I felt like it had broken into a million tiny pieces. Our family, odd as it was because of our demon father and human mother, had always been perfect. Yet the picture had been crumpled up, and could never be the same. It was due to my twin's unconditional brotherly love that I managed to succeed in getting over it. Though I guess pursuing power, our father's, more precisely, can't exactly be called having gotten over father's disappearance. But back then, my brother's love had acted like a bandage over my shattered heart. I knew that love was the strongest I could ever get, and I could never get enough of it. I was completely addicted to my twin's attentions. I don't think it was actually an evolution of feeling, but rather a feeling I discovered. It was strong, his love, and it was unchanging. In my fear of again feeling the terrible sense of loss our father's disappearance had brought me, I tossed everything out of my heart and only kept my baby twin brother in there, to fill any void there could be, to consolidate it to the hardness of diamond. And I knew although we were both strong, although he was strong, as I had once told my brother on top of Temen-Ni-Gru: "Might controls everything... and without strength, you cannot protect anything. Let alone yourself." I had never had any good sense of self beyond my one desire and how I could attain it and maintain it in my grasp. I wanted to monopolize my brother. I wanted to be able to protect him from any harm that I wouldn't directly be the cause of and keep him to myself.

And now it was all about to end, before I could even be truly reunited with my twin, all that because of some retard who had stolen my name and most of my powers with it. I tried ducking to the side as the Queen came at about two arms' length and was surprised to find myself falling through a portal of some sort. The chessboard and its Damned Chessmen appeared briefly before me through a mirror hanging in mid-air before it suddenly vanished when I was out of it completely. I fell down onto a mass that felt like a body. I felt disoriented and so I didn't move right away. I heard a grunt from under me, and I rolled over to get off of whatever or whoever I had fallen on. I froze in surprise when I saw that it was my brother. I had been just about to be beaten to death, and now I was safe and with my brother, in the middle of some forest, with no one else in sight. I could hardly believe it, but I still held in a sigh of relief; we were both okay, and now together. If I had believed in some sort of God, I would have thought this to either be a miracle or some divine sign that we were really meant for each other. Not that I didn't already think that, but that was another matter entirely. My twin sat up while rubbing his head. He didn't seem to have noticed that it was me tho had fallen on him and so I took the opportunity, as I let my body rest from the somewhat traumatizing experience I had just gone through, to admire him a little. I hadn't quite had the chance to do it before, what with the relief of finding him well, the happiness of once again being with him, and the frustration of seeing those flies, or should I rather say mosquitoes, buzzing around him as though he was a prime choice of vital nutrients or something. Maybe a juicy steak dangling in front of rabid, starving dogs seemed more appropriate to me. I admired his pristine white hair – he had definitely changed hairstyle since that time in the Demon World, though I wasn't really sure it suited him better -, his face – that stubble would have to go once we got our names and powers back -, his shoulders – they seemed less supple, harder, but harmonizing the definite though not prominent muscles that had developed since puberty, making them somewhat less awkward and more fitting -, his legs – they were as long, muscled and sexy as I remembered, with those sinful leather pants sticking to them and outlining that tight ass nicely – and those pale blue eyes that turned to look at me with surprise shining in their ever expressive depths. He was probably trying to figure out how I had managed to appear out of nowhere and fall on him. At the rate I could sense the gears spinning in his pretty little head, he would hurt himself.

I sat up cautiously, trying not to force myself, but it didn't make me light-headed and I was glad my momentary weakness had passed. "Don't think too much about it. Don't forget we're in Wonderland," I told him, standing up.

He cast his eyes downward. "Oh, right," was all he said before standing up as well.

And just like that, as we both stood there, awkwardness settled in. I couldn't come up with anything to start a decent conversation, and I guess he couldn't either. After all, we hadn't HAD a decent conversation since our father's disappearance. I knew he had at least ten thousand things he wanted to tell me, but he probably didn't know where to start. Our animosity toward each other had died down considerably with the years we had spent apart. Now that the anger had died down, we didn't have any pretext to talk to each other. The old routine of insults and rage had crumbled away, leaving behind something quite undefinable beyond the awkwardness.

I sighed. "Let's walk. At least we'll get somewhere physically, that way," I said, inviting him to walk by my side in the literary sense.

A look of seriousness settled on his features as he trained his piercing eyes on me. "What will you do after we get out names and powers back? Will you seek even more power again, even if you endangered the light of the human world again in the process?", he asked, failing miserably at hiding his anguish behind boiling anger.

For the first time, I could clearly see how much hurt I had brought to my brother. I turned around as I winced, preventing myself from seeing the painful expression on his face. He wasn't just asking if I would be a bad guy he need to defeat again, he was trying to brace himself against another possible betrayal on my part. It was hurting me. For once in my life, his pain was hurting me.

"What happened to you in all those years?", he said, his voice sounding less like fake anger and more like genuine sadness and concern. "You seem a little changed, but I can't put my finger on what did change in you, brother. I know our relationship never was the best ever, but now that I am more mature, or at least I like to think I am, I realize there are a lot of things you did in the past that I couldn't understand. And now more than ever, I'd like for you to explain them to me. After that ordeal in Temen-Ni-Gru, why did you hold back during our last fight? And why the fuck did you jump off that cliff?"

I winced again. That was a painful memory for me also, for it reminded me that I had been incredibly foolish, and that that foolishness had led me to my first nightmarish stay in Wonderland, hands and feet bound, that man's eyes trained on me at all times and the feeling that I was missing something, that I wasn't whole.

"Do you have any idea how many nightmares that scene has brought me? Seeing you jump, then a few years later learning that Nelo Angelo, the idiot demon I was certain I had killed, might be you... The heartache when he decided to look like you, then the heartbreak when he dropped your amulet..."

I could see the fight clearly... And the pained face of my brother holding back his tears as my vision faded... I clenched my fists as my heart started hurting again.

"Are you even listening to me?", he yelled, putting a hand on my shoulder and forcefully turning me around, then grabbing at the front of my shirt and glaring at me. "Why did you break up with me? Why the fuck did you even want to go out with me in the first place!" His tone rose with each question as I simply stood there, unmoving, staring at his furious eyes. His other fist met my jaw and my head followed the movement, forcing me to break eye contact. "Answer me!" His voice was breaking as he shouted that last sentence.

I turned my head slowly to look back at him, with what must have been the most gentle look I had ever given him. I raised a hand slowly and touched his cheek tentatively. He froze in surprise, but didn't pull away, so I put my hand on his lower jaw and caressed his cheek with my thumb. He closed his tear-filled eyes and leaned into the touch, both his hands' angry grip on my shirt changing to desperation, as though he was sure I could disappear any second. I moved my hand to the back of his head, my other hand coming of its own accord to his hip and I brought him closer to me, kissing him softly. His pain was hurting me bad and this had been the only way I could think of to try and make him feel at least a little better.

_["Brother, I'm scared." "Come on, you big baby. It's just a thunderstorm. There's nothing scary about that."]_

He pulled away a little, pushing his forehead against mine. "Why me?", he asked quietly, keeping his eyes closed as tears rolled down his cheeks slowly.

I sighed as I played a little in his hair. "Because it can only be you, little brother." I felt him tense up as I moved my hand to the small of his back and down a little, stopping it as I started feeling his butt under my little finger. "You are the only thing, the only person, with the ability to fill my heart to the brim, that blinds anything and everything that could cause me emotional harm -"

A white thing appeared at the edge of our vision and bounded off. We both turned our heads in its direction at the same time. And just in time, too, to see a white rabbit disappear in a bush. Our conversation immediately put aside, at least for now, we let go of each other and hurried after the rabbit. I welcomed the interruption gladly, for our conversation had been headed in a direction that was too unlike the both of us and it might have broken something in our relationship. There had to be some angst, some kind of pent up frustration, silent understanding and utter divergence of principles. And there also had to be at least a little of blind trust. If neither of us could predict what the other would do, could we really still call ourselves twins? Soon we got out of the bushes and stumbled to a stop in front of a small wooden fence. Though what really caught my attention wasn't so much the house as what was in its backyard, right in front of us. A long table was floating some three to four feet above ground with a dozen matching chairs. A long, white tablecloth was laid out on its whole surface. Tea sets were set out on it, some floating and others unmoving on the table. A strange little man with a misshapen face, uneven eyes and a weird hat was happily sipping tea with a rabbit-headed man and a giant dormouse.

The dormouse was singing merrily with a strange, high voice that sounded as though it really were five or six small kids singing in its stead. "It's a tea party! It's a tea party! Scones made of bones, tea made of blood! It's a tea party!", it was singing, over and over.

Beside me, my brother had frozen up with a deep frown. "The Mad Hatter, the March Hare and the dormouse," he whispered, almost growling.

And it made sense. Who else could be having tea like this in Wonderland except those three? Though with the dormouse's song and the look of the other two, I began to wonder if this was really the Wonderland of the book or a twisted version of it. That Mad Hatter didn't seem at all friendly, and I couldn't figure out what was going on in the March Hare's head. But I guess it was to be expected since they were all supposed to me mad.

The rabbit-headed man suddenly noticed us and looked at us with a strange smile on his animal-like lips. "Welcome, sons of Sparda," he said quietly, cutting off the Mad Hatter's babbling.

The little man turned around to also look at us and his distorted face scrunched up as though in disgust. "Are you here t-to d-disturb another one of our t-tea parties?", he asked, apparently annoyed.

I glanced sideways at my brother and saw him grimacing. So he really had met them before. "Whose scones are these, this time?", he threw back, dejection apparent in his tone.

The March hare raised a hand – or should I say a paw? - to cut off whatever the little man was about to say. "Please come and join our tea party, sons of Sparda."

"But t-their scones won't b-be any g-good!", objected the Mad Hatter vehemently.

"No good! No good!", echoed the dormouse

"I meant as our guests," corrected rabbit head.

"Guests! Guests!", echoed the dormouse

"T-then we need a c-clean cup! Hurry!", cried the little man.

Chaos suddenly took place around the table as the tea sets started flying left and right, crashing together and to the tabletop noisily. I almost had the urge to grab Yamato and make a massacre, but everything calmed down before I could do anything. I hoped to get away from those freaks as fast as possible. As suddenly as the chaos had started, it ended, and now all three were once again sitting merrily and sipping from tea cups. The dormouse even started singing again and I could have believed the conversation hadn't taken place if the rabbit-headed man wasn't still looking at us with that half-amused, half-loving smile that looked more than a little deranged. My patience was getting thin and it would soon crack.

I crossed my arms while glaring at the trio. "Did a white rabbit pass by here?", I asked irritably, deciding to cut this comedy short.

"Rabbit?, echoed the dormouse as it interrupted its song with a lost expression in its rodent eyes.

"Rab-bbit? I ain't seen no rab-bbit pass here!", said the little man, looking as though he had learned something very surprising.

I almost whooped in joy, but held it in. We'd get out of here shortly. "Fine, then we have no more business here. Come, brother. We're leaving. I have no intention to stay even a minute longer with there retards."

I turned around as I talked and started walking away, believing my twin would follow me. Somehow, though, the scenery around us had changed to the interior of a dusty, old mansion. The floor gave in under my third step and it crumbled away into dark abyss underfoot. I was falling.

_["Leave me and go, if you don't want to be trapped in the demon world. I'm staying. This place... was our father's home."]_

Falling into darkness once again. I was leaving my dearest little brother behind again. I was leaving him alone once more and there was nothing I could do against it! The rise of my desperation and frustration was suddenly halted as my arm was jerked upwards, stopping my fall but letting me dangle over darkness. I raised my head and stared at my brother. He was leaning a little over the side of the crumbling hole in the floor, on his knees, an arm braced against the edge, his other hand firmly wrapped around my arm. His face was distorted in fear, anguish and despair, as though he had been the one to have almost fallen into oblivion, but I was sure I didn't really look any better. I should never have jumped off that cliff, but the past couldn't be changed. I grabbed at his arm and he started heaving me back up, but the floor gave way under his hand and he stumbled over, falling with me in darkness. To tell the truth, I hadn't expected an impact. But one came anyway and we found ourselves in a small, octagonal room with six of the eight walls covered in mirrors, a statue of a woman on a seventh and inscriptions on the eighth. A chandelier hung overhead, with the ceiling disappearing in darkness. I was lying spread-eagle on the cold tile floor, with my twin sprawled over me. He wasn't moving and for a second there, I feared he had gotten hurt. But when he sat to straddle my middle and he punched me square in the face, I knew he was alright.

All right, though more than a little pissed. Then again, with the grimace on his face and his tear-filled eyes, maybe "pissed" wasn't exactly right. "Never do that to me again, you bastard! You hear me? Never!", he growled, trying to sound menacing but really just looking like he was desperate.

I would have reached up and pulled him down to kiss him if I hadn't seen demons come out of the floor. He saw them too and we both got to our feet in the blink of an eye, grabbing our swords at the same time. He was the first one to attack and I followed suit, but it quickly became clear that we weren't doing much damage, if at all. I suddenly noticed that one of the mirrors reflected differently that the other five. But then its reflection changed to become like the others', and another one became different. An idea crossed my mind.

I looked at my brother over my shoulder. "Hit the mirror that's different!", I yelled at him over the battle's noises.

We hit it at the same time and it shattered. The demons cried in agony and died, just like that. Another mirror appeared in the middle of the room, and through it we could see a barren, gray wasteland stretching beyond sight under a cloudy sky. My twin whooped, but I stopped him before he could go and cross the mirror. I had a feeling we would get separated again and I didn't like that. I didn't think I had gotten through to my brother yet, and with that inexperienced pup roaming around somewhere, I feared I would lose him. I put a hand on each side of his head and kissed him softly, hesitantly. I didn't want him to leave me and saunter off with someone else, be it the pup or anybody else. He kissed me back gently, his hands coming around my waist. I growled in arousal, put my hands under his ass, lifting him a little, and slammed him against the nearest wall, a big mirror. I bit his lower lip hungrily as I felt my pants getting tighter. I knew he was the only one who had that effect on me, but I didn't know if he knew it. He groaned when his back hit the wall and buried his hands in my hair. I let go of his lip and launched onto his neck. He moaned, throwing back his head then hissing when it hit the wall behind him. I groaned in disapproval as he started chuckling and bit down onto his neck.

He yelped and tried to push me away. "Calm down, brother!"

"Why should I? You never complained about the pace or how we did it before," I growled back at him, pissed at his sudden reluctance. He had kissed me back, he had let me pin him against the wall and he had moaned without any sign of wanting to stop.

"I just realized I don't want this," he said with a serious tone of voice.

I looked at him with a disbelieving look. "You _just_ realized...? I hope this is your idea of a joke," I told him, suddenly feeling the urge to hit him upside the head.

"Listen, brother... I... I haven't decided yet, and I don't want to hurt either of you," he said, trying to push me away.

I growled. I was seething. This couldn't be happening. "You're telling me to just sit tight as I watch you walk away from me?"

"I won't walk away from you!", he objected.

"Yes you will! And with another man, too!"

"What's your fucking problem! I said I won't! And even if I would, what's it to you? Let me remind you you were the first one to walk away! You abandoned me first!"

"I suffered from that as much as you did! Maybe even more!", I countered. His eyes widened in surprise and he remained speechless. Then his face fell and he turned his head away. My heart sank before he even opened his mouth.

"I'm sorry, brother. Even if that may be true, I can't let it influence my decision. I'm sure we have both suffered, but now this situation isn't all about us; somebody else is surely getting hurt in this, and I have to consider his feelings too. I can't be prejudiced and I can't decide on a whim. I'm sorry," he said as he pushed me away.

I didn't try to stop him as he did. I didn't try to stop him as he walked around me. I didn't try to stop him as he walked away from me. I didn't try to stop him from crossing the mirror. I simply stood there, frozen, heartbroken, my erection long gone and a bitter taste in my mouth...

* * *

My heart was hammering against my ribcage, thoughts were racing through my head. What happened many, many years ago had almost happened again. I had almost lost my brother to dark abysses a second time. Punching him allowed some of my stress to let up, but I really only calmed down after hacking away at those demons. Smashing that mirror felt good, too, and it gave us access to the next destination. But my brother surprised me when he held me back, and even more when he kissed me. It was sweet, like nothing that ever came from him, and I quickly found myself melting and kissing him back. That kiss had lit a fire I had long thought drowned and it made me light-headed and unable to think. My response spurred him on and he slammed me against the wall. The hit and his bite, combined with his powerful hands on my ass made pleasurable pain course through my entire body. I grabbed onto his hair by instinct and hit my head against the wall as a reflex when his mouth came to my throat. My eyes opened and almost watered in pain, but it allowed me to notice. All the mirrors around us save from the one in the middle of the room reflected us, and it was as though hundreds of us were in this same position, about to get it on. For some reason, I found that hilarious and chuckled, but my brother seemed to misunderstand and bit my neck in what I knew to be a reprimand but it still felt like a marking of possession and I could feel myself getting exponentially hotter. The kid's face suddenly flashed in my mind's eye and guilt battled fiercely with arousal. I couldn't do this. It wasn't right. And I left my twin behind. I abandoned him there, despite the fears and suffering he voiced to me. I felt awful. Why was being fair so painful? Was it because of my demon blood? Was I getting somehow punished for all my wrongs? Yes, though we are brothers, our bond was more than that, in a way that was usually thought of as being unacceptable, immoral, sick, but what was so wrong about it? We couldn't have children together anyway since we're both males, so that couldn't be it. Or was it maybe simply because we were half demons? That because of the pure love of our demon father, us sons of Sparda had to survive in unhappiness and bitterness until our bodies rotted away? And then get punished some more after our deaths for that same blood in our veins? It was absurd, yet I needed some kind of explanation for all my suffering. I felt like some kind of martyr, getting punished as example for others, yet hoping at the same time to be that one person to inspire a revolution. The lamb to the slaughter, the human sacrifice to try and appease the God in its cruelty and selfishness. Or maybe it's just wishful thinking and all this pain will bring absolutely nothing. I froze as I heard a voice. I had forgotten where I was and what I was supposed to do. I turned around upon hearing the voice again as it called my name uncertainly.

Nero stood a good ways away from me, but his voice reached me as though we were side by side. "Is that really you, Tony?", he asked, relief glowing in his eyes.

I walked towards him, glad to see him too, but apprehension eating away at my guts. "Yeah, it's me. So this is where you were...", I whispered to try and ease my own anxiety. I raised a hand and passed it through his hair when I finally reached him, suppressing a shiver as it felt just like my brother's under my fingers. My arousal had cooled down, but it hadn't entirely died off yet. My twin's earlier bite still tingled and my skin still felt very sensitive.

The kid turned his eyes away and his cheeks tainted pink. "I guess you already met your brother...", he whispered back.

I raised a hand to my neck, blushing a little myself. I had forgotten my brother's bites usually left bruises. "It's not what you think. Nothing much happened. I stopped him beforehand," I said quickly, frantic to make that clear to him. Why did I feel the urge to make excuses?

"Why?"

I gave him a puzzled look. What did he mean by that? "What?" Yes, very coherent.

He looked back up at me with a pained expression in his eyes. "Why are you being considerate of my feelings? Aren't you head over heels in love with your twin brother? Isn't he the only one important to you?"

I grabbed his shoulders tightly as I felt he could start running away any second. "I have no idea where you got that, but it's not true. You do matter to me. A lot. I just refused my brother a few minuted ago because I felt it wouldn't be fair to you-"

"What's fair in all this! I know you'll choose your brother, if that isn't done already!"

"Hold your horses, kid! What the heck are you talking about? Where did you hear that crap?"

"I met your brother before he disappeared through a mirror and I ended up here. We... talked a bit about you and... although I don't approve of your relationship with him at all, he made me see that in the end it was your decision and yours alone and... I'm really sorry. I know you only had sex with me because I made you think of your brother and I know I'm being selfish, but some part of me really hopes this isn't all our relationship is about... and..."

I put a hand on his mouth and I could feel one of my eyebrows ticking. "What the fuck is that half-assed assumption, kid? I thought you knew me better than that by now. What made you think I only saw my brother in you?", I asked him in annoyance, releasing his mouth to allow him to answer.

He seemed surprised and I could see hope shine in the depths of his eyes. "I have similar hair and eyes."

I crossed my arms. "Similar isn't identical. Your eyes are much more expressive and your hair is shorter, thus softer."

Red dusted his cheeks, but he kept his hopeful eyes on me, though I could see his next argument pained him. "You called your brother's name when you took me."

I frowned, realizing that that really was a big issue to him. I hadn't thought about it much since regaining my memory, but now that it was brought back into play, shoved into my face, I could understand why it had hurt him. And even more so when knowing I didn't remember the event at all. Heck, he should have ripped my guts out for that! I sighed and passed a hand through my hair.

"Listen... I wasn't myself back then. I don't even remember it. I was probably reliving a moment of my past or something... though I never topped my brother..."

"Then do it."

I cocked my head, puzzled. "Do what?"

"Have sex with me again."

"Whoa there, kid! Have you listened to everything I said? I haven't made my choice yet! If it isn't alright for my brother to do me, the same goes for you. I'm giving this issue serious thought, but I've got a hard time making up my mind. If I choose my brother, he'll kick you out and I probably won't see you again. But if I choose you..."

Shock flashed in his eyes, quickly followed by understanding and what looked like sadness. "Yeah, I understand... It's a tough decision..."

I suddenly tensed as I felt something coming. It was nothing like what I could pick up with my demonic senses when I still had all my powers, but I could feel danger. I started looking around frantically, but all I could see was the gray, barren wasteland.

"What is it? What's going on?", asked Nero, worried.

I was about to answer him when I saw what I had sensed. I had just enough time to grab the kid and duck to the side before a train sped by exactly where we had been standing.

Nero was clutching at my coat, petrified in surprise. "What the fuck is going on! Where did that train come from! It scared the shit out of me!", he exclaimed.

I had no idea why there was a train here, but it gave me an idea. We'd have to act fast, though. "Grab onto that train!", I told the kid, grabbing him around the waist. "Quickly!"

He opened his mouth, probably to protest, then understanding flashed in his eyes and he nodded. He put his human arm around me and concentrated, then grabbed at the speeding train with his Devil Bringer. The pull was stronger than we had both anticipated and Nero almost slipped out of my arms, but he clutched at my coat at the last second and pulled me with him. We landed between two wagons. I was sore all over, and I saw Nero flexing his Devil Bringer with a grimace. That had been a risky stunt, but we had managed to pull it off somehow. After all, if there was a train, it had to be going somewhere. And wherever it was going was better than this deserted hell hole, and we'd get there much faster this way than by walking or even running. I opened one of the doors and signaled to Nero to follow me. It was a passenger wagon, by the looks of it, but we were utterly alone in it. I slumped down on the first bench I came to and massaged my shoulders a bit. Nero sat on the bench facing mine. A strange, but slightly comfortable silence settled in, and I turned to look out of the window when I felt I couldn't relieve my shoulders any more on my own and I would have to endure the soreness until it went away on its own or I gained my powers back, whichever came first. For the first time since having had my name erased, I was eager to get it back. Nero's pulling on my coat to get me onboard this train had seriously messed with my shoulders and the pain didn't seem like it was going to lessen any time soon. And all this thinking, this emotional "ambivalence" was taking its toll on me now that I was sitting and relaxing. I jumped a little as I heard movement beside me and turned to see Nero coming to sit right by me.

He blushed a little, then forced me to turn my back to him. "Let me at least do this for you. Being just like a human right now, that pull must have hurt pretty bad...", he whispered, putting his hands on my shoulders and starting to massage them.

Never in my life would I look down on massages again. It was painful, but at the same time oh so good. He kept asking questions softly about how it felt and whispering comments about knots or something. In truth, he pretty much lost me after a few seconds. My mind only registered his words long enough for me to half-grunt an answer, and otherwise it was utterly empty. I wasn't thinking anything, I wasn't hearing anything (that I'd remember clearly later), and all I was feeling was his hands working magic on me. In all my life, I'd had many men and women alike touch me in many kinds of places and all kinds of ways, but never would anything compare to this. I could honestly say at that moment that hell was getting shot, or having a sword thrust into you, or getting the shit beaten out of you, or all of that at once, but heaven wasn't getting the greatest fuck of your life. Or maybe yeah, but on a different level. Heaven was getting massaged by Nero. I swear no one has ever managed to get a moan out of me, or even get me hard for that matter, without it being purely intentional before this kid, and he got both while only touching my shoulders and the nape of my neck. When the first moan left my lips, I felt his movements falter and become hesitant for a second, but then he continued with firmer movements until I was jelly in his hands, staying in a sitting position only because his hands unabled me from letting myself fall backwards onto his lap. As the massage went on and I continued moaning while resisting the urge to reach down to relieve myself, I could feel his Devil Bringer start to twitch slightly. It wasn't much, really, but in my vulnerable, human state, though I had to admit I was normally near to being a masochist, his claws occasionally digging into my skin a little or scratching me sent jolts of pain from my shoulder, though it wasn't enough to drag me out of the numb trance the massage as a whole had put me into. When my fatigue, helped along by my forced state of complete relaxation, finally manifested itself with a huge yawn, Nero's movements slowed to a stop. I reluctantly let him do so, since I was too out of it anyway to do anything.

I was surprised, though, when he scooted a little away and pulled me down so that my head laid on his lap. "I've got a feeling we'll be staying on this train for a while. You should rest properly since you look so tired. Alright?"

I could neither answer nor complain as I immediately fell asleep when he uttered those words. The strangest thing was, when I woke up again, that I didn't feel like I had slept at all, but I didn't feel tired anymore. I still stayed lying down with the kid's lap for pillow, until I felt him tense up.

That is when I heard unknown voices speak up. "This seat taken?", asked a female voice.

"Not just this seat. All the others are empty," the kip answered back, displeased.

"What are you talking about?", asked another female voice.

I jumped a little as usual train bustle started, and judging by Nero's tensing increasing, I could easily guess what had just happened: people had appeared out of nowhere and filled the previously-empty wagon. The kid stayed silent, but I heard three people taking place on the seat facing ours. I made a show of waking up, faking a huge, content yawn and stretching. I opened my eyes, looking up at Nero and giving him a wink in the hopes that he'd understand I'd been awake a while and I had the situation under control. I then sat up and looked at the trio who had barged in on us with such a lack of tact. The one nearest the window seemed to be a man made out of porn magazines, showing as much naked guys as naked women in varying, sexy posed that more or less showed their "assets". It didn't phase me, but I could tell by the way Nero avoided to look at the guy that it was affecting him. The two others were cat-woman with big boobs and sexy clothes. They didn't phase me either, but it explained why Nero was looking anywhere but at them, too. The trio stayed silent a moment, before the girls started talking animatedly about some hot, wolf-guy one of them had banged the other day, giving off vivid details of the encounter and with the porn mag-man sending in a comment once in a while. From the corner of my eye, I could see Nero blushing while probably trying and failing to ignore the obscene conversation.

I decided to step in before the blush reached his ears. "Come on, ladies, have two beautiful creatures such as you really nothing else to talk about other than some handsome sex god's prowesses in bed?", I asked them, planning to use their reply to begin another kind of conversation.

The trio looked at me, surprised, as though they had only just now noticed my presence. "What do you mean?", asked one of the gals, in probably much the same manner Trish would have answered me on a bad day.

"I mean that since we're sitting together, how about you tell us more about yourselves before letting us know all that's going on in your bed?" I mean... I knew about demons, I knew about the characters of Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass, but these creatures, I knew nothing about.

The smallest girl, who really looked like a leopard walking and acting like a human, with big breasts and expressive facial features, sat forward with a frown, in much the same manner I'd imagine Lady would do when pissed. "And what about you two? Hm?", she asked somewhat playfully, and that tone of voice really went against my Lady image.

"I'M a half-demon and he's part-demon and we're trying to reach the queen's castle or something," I told them, relaxing against the seat.

The other woman, who looked a bit like a lynx, crossed her arms with what looked like a seductive smile. "Well you're going the wrong way, boys," she told us icily and I briefly wondered if a tone of voice really couldn't kill people outside of metaphors.

I frowned myself. "What?", I asked quite intelligibly.

"Look outside the window, you'll see we're actually going away from it," said the leopard-woman.

I did as she said and looked outside, feeling Nero looking over my shoulder. I could see a red and white castle in the distance, beyond some dark forest, and the train really seemed to be getting farther and farther away from it.

I turned back to the trio. "When is the next stop?", I questioned them hurriedly.

"Don't you know?", exclaimed the porn mag-person with a voice I could neither identify as being male or female. "This train doesn't stop."

I froze at that. So to go off, we'd have to jump! It would certainly kill me in my current state! I jumped as I felt the kid grabbing me around the waist and jump through the window. He was mad! Utterly out of his mind! But as I looked at the ground, waiting and dreading the impact, I noticed a star-like-shaped design glowing where we would hit the ground and just before the crash, a Fault swallowed us up. As we fell in darkness, I saw another mirror under us and we fell through it. When I opened my eyes, I was lying on the kid. He was sprawled on his back, a grimace of pain on his face and his arms loosely wound around me. He was visibly stunned from an impact I hadn't felt. I tried getting off of him, but that seemed to bring him back fully to consciousness and he stopped me with a painful hiss. That's when I realized: my knee was on his crotch.

My eyes widened and I hurriedly shifted it away. "Sorry!", I apologized, cringing myself as he doubled over.

"It's alright, just... leave me a second to... you know...", he grunted feebly.

"Sure, I'll look around for a bit..."

I left him huddled there and reported my attention to our surroundings. We seemed to be in a small temple corridor or something, but without anything else. A vaulted ceiling maintained over a similarly vaulted floor by columns, so that it would have been upside-down and it wouldn't have made a difference. I walked to a side and looked around. Above and below were white infinity, while all around, at a distance so great I couldn't fathom, were the white walls of what looked like a gigantic citadel, with dark gray windows. At some places, these walls were partly destroyed. Nothing seemed to maintain our platform afloat, but it was simply hanging there, unmoving. There was no wind. To one end of our small corridor, I could see pieces of floor hanging, in what looked a little like a tunnel, and further away a bigger piece of floor with the huge, severed foot of a statue on it. I had already been in a place similar to this. As if to confirm my thought, when I approached the end of the corridor with the pieces of floor, what I had thought would happen, happened: the nearest piece of floor came forward and stuck itself onto the edge of the corridor. I jumped a little when the kid appeared beside me, still wincing and limping a little.

He was frowning in reflexion. "So what do we do now? Where are we supposed to be going?", he asked, shifting his gaze to me.

I couldn't help myself and looked away. "Well this way, obviously, unless you wish to find out what's down there," I answered, taking a step forward and setting foot on the piece of floor. Other pieces came down to form a floating road, leaving only a few steps before me until the emptiness. "Don't worry, they're not gonna budge and they'll keep on coming."

Though he seemed to doubt what I had said, he followed me onto the road. We walked on and on, beyond the statue's foot, onto the white marble road, getting further and further away from the white plaster "corridor" and towards the unknown. The white walls that looked like they were surrounding us never seemed to get closer or farther, like a background following us or something so ginormous and far away, our measly steps didn't change the distance much. I have no idea how long, how far we walked onto that self-making road. We walked around a statue's torso, over a statue's palm, slid down a statue's arm and climbed something I'd rather not define, until finally there weren't any other pieces of floor in front of us. When we turned around on our round platform, to look the way we had come, we were startled to find there was nothing there anymore. We were stuck. I plopped down on the cold floor with a dejected sigh.

Nero sat down beside me. "You know, I've been thinking about it and... I think when this is over and we go back, I'll go see Kyrie to tell her everything and to apologize. She has the right to know, even if I think she won't believe most of it. Then I'll... come back to see you...", he said, though the last part seemed to be hesitant, as though he feared my reaction or something.

I smiled without looking at him. "Sure, I wouldn't mind," I answered softly. I couldn't very well tell him anything else, anything more, for it wouldn't have been fair to both him and my brother.

"What are we supposed to do now?", he asked, and I could feel his eyes on me, but I simply kept looking in the distance.

"Wait for a mirror or another road or means of transportation, I guess..."

"But then if a mirror appeared, we would get separated again."

I frowned at that. It was true and I didn't want that, but then again, we had crossed a mirror when we entered that demon, the Fault, and ended up here together. What had happened? What had been different? "You know, I think that to cross a mirror and get to the same place, we just need to hold each other," I said tentatively, tasting the idea as it left my tongue and finding it completely logical.

The kid thought about it for a moment. "Not bad," he said, nodding in approval. "We'll see when we find another one."

Silence came back. Empty silence, filled with echoes of frantic thoughts of helplessness. Our earlier conversation came back to me. He was insecure. He was convinced, somehow, for some obscure reason, that he didn't stand a chance. And that made me think back to my brother. My brother, who, for some reason, felt similar insecurities. Because of me. Because of my indecision. Because I took my own sweet time to choose between the two, to make the right decision. But what if there was no "right" decision to be made? What if I was doomed to regret my choice, whatever it will be, and I couldn't find a compromise to make it more right? The silence stretched on as these indecisions tortured my mind.

Until suddenly the kid started to talk, as if tired of the silence. "Why are you considering our feelings so much? Not that I'm unhappy about it since it gives me a chance, but I don't quite get it."

I sighed. That kid was hard to get through to, sometimes. "It's true that int he beginning, I only saw my brother, or a younger version of myself, in you. But now it's different. Stop thinking that you don't stand a chance, will you? Or I'll start thinking you don't want to be with me."

"Of course I want to be with you! I'm just unsure of whether you really like me or not. I mean... You're in love with your brother! How could an outsider like me be of any significance?"

"It is significant" You made me realize the world doesn't end just because a loved one dies. It doesn't stop because your lover disappeared. Nero, my brother wasn't there to save me, you were."

"Exactly! Maybe your feelings for me are just mislead, lead astray by your brother's absence, my presence near you in your time of need, my physical resemblance to your brother! Maybe you think you have feelings for me, but you're actually just mistaken because we had sex and you remembered how good it was and you transposed your romantic feelings for your brother onto me!"

I looked at him in shock. Where had he fetched such counterarguments? It was hurting him to just think about what he had told me, and I could see he was about to cry. I sighed and pulled him into a bear hug. I felt a shiver run down my spine as I felt his strong body against mine, his soft hair against my cheek, his breath on my shoulder and neck where I had forced his head... and I cursed mentally as I realized that even after all this time, I was still slightly horny because of my brother and that massage Nero had given me. I felt him stiffen a little, his breath hitch and his Devil Bringer start to twitch. A small sense of danger came to me, but it wasn't strong enough to alarm me. Though I knew it had been a mistake to hug the kid. Before I knew it, I was on my back, pinned down by a big, ethereal arm, the hand of which covered my whole upper torso so that my head was between two fingers. I tried grabbing at it, but it was no use. Then I froze as I felt trembling fingers tug with impatience at my pants. The motion made a pleasurable shiver run down my spine and I bit back a moan. I was done for. Nothing I said would get through to him, I wasn't strong enough in my present state to escape his Devil Bringer and I couldn't' kick him off because he had taken place between my thighs. Very hard to effectively kick someone away in this position. I bit my lips as he finally managed to undo my pants and lowered them to mid-thighs before latching onto my manhood with hunger. A cry of surprise and pleasure escaped me as he did, and I could do little more than pant, moan and bury my hands in his soft hair as he set to work on me. I was so caught up in it that I never noticed when he managed to pull his own pants off, but I sure did notice when he started fingering himself for he moaned quietly and the vibrations from his throat almost did it for me. When he stopped and sat up, though too soon for my tastes, I was a panting mess, unable of most any coherent thought. I opened my eyes and looked down to try and see what had made him stop, but I froze as I saw him coming forward to straddle me. I had thought he would be the one to take me, but I realized as he lowered himself onto me that it really didn't matter. A breath escaped his lips once he finished taking me all in and I know he had tried saying my name. Not an alias, not an insult, not a nickname... My name, the one that had been stolen from me. I then remembered how he must have hurt when I took him for the first time and called my brother's name. I raised my hands and put them on his hips, accepting his embrace. A moan left his lips when I met his skin. His Devil Bringer was still twitching and the danger I had been feeling seemed to be coming from it. The kid really hadn't been kidding, even his demon part had the hots for me. Big time. I tried lifting him a little to make him move, but he gasped and put his human hand on my belly.

"Wait, wait... give me another minute to adjust...", he panted through gritted teeth.

My thoughts had come back to me somewhat and I knew that trying anything right now would be very unwise: he had my most vulnerable body part at his mercy. One twist of those, I had to say, very nice hips and I'd once more be a shuddering, panting mess. Not that I considered it a bad thing in general, mind you, just that the pained look on my brother's face as I categorically refused him and crossed the mirror alone was kind of haunting me, in the same way Nero's face had kept me from letting my brother have his way with me. This time, though, as Nero looked down at me with those watery, though very arousing, blue eyes, I knew I couldn't do anything to stop him. If I tried, I'd lose him. I had the right to refuse my brother, give him a taste of his own medicine to try and make him understand the anguish he had made me go through and why I wasn't sure I'd go back to him. Nero had done me no wrong. I was sure my brother would take it as a slap across the face, but I was a man with a loved one riding me. And so I whispered his name as I snaked a hand under his shirt and put the other one around his dick. He shivered and I felt his abs try to shy away from my fingertips.

I could see a tinge of red in his irises as he leaned forward a little. "Don't do that... I'll lose control..."

I was about to tell him it didn't matter, but I suddenly had a flash of him covered in blood over my bloodied, dead body. A sight that wasn't appealing at all and made me listen to him, despite the great curiosity I had towards his demon side that seemed to awaken more and more as he spent time with me. I was as good, as frail as a human right now, ans although Lady was human, too, humans normally weren't a match for demons at all unless they wanted to end up dead and most possibly dismembered and eaten. I wasn't planning on kicking the bucket any time soon. In a swift movement, I grabbed the back of his head and forced him to lean down even more before stealing a quick kiss from his lips.

I grinned at the surprised look on his face. "Alright, princess, I'll let you lead the dance," I said teasingly.

Anger flashed in his eyes at my provocation and with a roll of his hips, he made me momentarily unable to spout any more smart comments. I became unable to think after that as I put my hands on his hips to help him move more easily on my cock, and somewhere when I wasn't taking notice, he had stopped pinning me to the ground with his Devil Bringer. But it didn't matter, I was completely at his mercy and enjoying every minute of it. We came at the same time and he slumped on top of me. We remained silent as we regained our breath, and the gears in my head started turning again. I had to choose. I had to stop hurting the both of them, to put a finality to all this shit. Though just as I was opening my mouth to talk, a hand grabbed my arm and yanked me from under the kid and off the ground. I had just enough time to hear Nero calling my alias before a mirror disappeared from before me. I turned around, expecting to see my brother standing there with that usual pissy expression he always wore when he was angry, but instead there stood before me a tall, tanned man with short, spiky black hair, eyes the color of blood, a white grin that could have sent Mundus packing with his tail between his legs and two long, velvety black rabbit ears on the top of his head.

He was eying me like a starved wolf stared at a trapped prey. "Hey there. I fear introductions come a little late, but it doesn't matter. I've been expecting you, son of Sparda, and I must admit you're pretty good at playing hard to get," he said slowly, working his mouth around every word almost lovingly, speaking with a sultry voice.

I frowned at him as I worked my pants back up. "Who the fuck are you? Do we know each other?", I asked him, on the defensive. He was a dangerous man, I could sense it. A _very_ dangerous man.

"My apologies. Actually, I was the one who saved your brother from certain death many, many years ago, when he was about to be killed as a result of his fight with you when he was still under the influence of that oaf Mundus. Though I must admit I was more interested in you. You're pretty hard to get to, you know." He was walking around me, as though assessing me or something.

"Who are you?", I repeated my question, on my guard. I didn't like at all where this was going.

"My name is Noir. I am the evil twin brother of that stupid creature who brought you here. Though unlike that retard, I'm not simply a gatekeeper of sorts. I am the ruler of this place. The only one The Dream allowed to hold significant powers here."

"The Dream!"

"You aren't really here, you know. Wonderland is a place within a dream. You cannot really die in the proper sense of the term while you are here, but you can stay trapped and never wake up again. Maybe a Nightmare is a more appropriate appellation."

"What do you want with me?"

"Simple. You have never been defeated. Ain't I right? Well..." His grin, already terrifying, became cruel as a demented look glazed over his eyes. "Now you will belong to me."

I suddenly felt an overwhelming pain in my head and everything seemed to seep out. I slumped down to the ground, until I laid on the floor, face down. I had no energy. I had no will. I... didn't remember a thing.

"Don't try to fight it. Here, you can't do anything about it and there's no one around to save you. I possess your name, and I now also possess your body. Funny, isn't it? How you came here to save yourself but instead you fell right into my trap. But don't worry, I'll be a good master to you and I will let you have two of the things that you cherish most. Starting, of course, with your demonic powers. What would having the strongest being in existence at my command do for me if he didn't have his powers, wouldn't you agree?"

The last thing that flashed before my eyes before everything became dark was white hair and intoxicating blue eyes...

* * *

I took my time to dress back up. I... was in a state of shock. The old man had just been kidnapped right after... That meant if I hadn't, this wouldn't have happened, right? Guilt submerged me as I sat there before the mirror. It wasn't heading to the room the old man had been taken to, of course. Maybe if I had still been holding onto him with my Devil Bringer, I could have followed him. Maybe if I had been more careful, more attentive, less selfish, less impulsive... not so goddamn in love with him! I bathed myself in self-hatred as I stayed there. Who knew where that mirror would lead me, how long it would be until I found the old man again... but I knew it was already too late. My eyes stung, but I refused to admit I felt like crying. Suddenly, a familiar figure appeared on the other side of the mirror. His twin. The man suddenly jumped out of the mirror just as a train was passing, and landed right on me. The image in the mirror changed, showing a garden, but I didn't notice right away because the impact had caused me to hit my head against the ground. I gained back my spirits upon hearing a low growl in my ear.

The old man's twin was sprawled on me, trembling, though I knew for certain it wasn't in embarrassment. "His smell...", he hissed, venom dripping from his voice. "You've got his fucking smell all over you, you bratty bastard! Why couldn't you leave alone what isn't yours!"

He was about to hit me, to try and seriously injure me, maybe even kill me. I didn't think. I simply acted. I reversed our positions and pinned him down in exactly the same manner I had immobilized Tony earlier. When the realization hit me, I fought back a blush. It wouldn't have been a good reaction at all at that moment, what with his face twisting in a grimace of pure hatred and anger. He squirmed wildly, trashed, twisted, anything to get out of my grip but to no avail. I had him trapped there under me, helpless, unable of any physical action. Soon, he calmed down, exhausted, his breath labored and quick against the ethereal palm of my Devil Bringer. I should have felt the same rage as him, the same hatred towards my enemy, my rival in love as he no doubt felt, but as I looked at him, I couldn't hate him. What I saw there under me wasn't some bloodthirsty, mad wolf searching for a way, any way to kill me because I had had the misfortune of being on his path, but a broken man clinging to anything he could grasp, untrusting of the unknown and almost childlike in nature. I immediately understood this weakness I had sensed in him the first time we had been alone together, in the first room. I felt a little foolish to not have thought of it earlier. Tony had even told me about it. Their mom was dead and their dad had disappeared. They were all the other had left. The old man had gained friends over the years, but seeing as his twin had somewhat of an antagonistic tendency, I doubted he had made any friends or good acquaintances at all. It was... cute, somewhat. I only noticed I had released him when he hid his face behind his arms.

"Don't you dare pity me, mutt," he said, his voice frail with threatening tears.

I smiled softly as I shuffled to sit beside him, looking respectfully away. "How could I pity a cold-hearted bastard like you?", I said gently, knowing he'd get what I meant instead of the obvious jest.

He uncovered a glistening, red eye to glare daggers at me. "If you hurt him, I'll kill you."

I sent a smirk back at him. "Same to you if you make him cry again."

He relaxed considerably at that and his lips twitched into a smirk. "You know, pup, you're not so bad. I might consider keeping you as a pet if you give up your feelings for my twin."

"As if that would happen, doll face," I shot back at him.

We smirked at each other in silence, before I burst out laughing. We had come to a truce, an understanding that led to some kind of mutual respect. It was strange and unexpected, but, oddly enough, pretty welcome. Since now we weren't worrying as much about who would get the old man first or feeding our hatred of each other, it would probably allow us to concentrate on our mission.

He stood up and brushed himself off while chuckling, then he turned to the mirror and became silent. "I know my brother was here not too long ago, but I don't see or sense him nearby," he said quietly after a moment, any sign of hostility completely gone from his tone of voice and body language.

I stopped laughing and became serious in an instant. "He got kidnapped just before you got here. I wasn't able to do anything. If I had been clinging to him a bit more..."

He turned his head and placated me with a harsh stare. "Hush about that. Did you see the bastard who took him?"

I stood up also. "Yeah, it was a tall guy with black rabbit ears."

He turned his head away and became nervous, hesitant. I frowned at that reaction. So this really was bad, maybe even worse than I had first thought. I stayed silent a moment, waiting to see if he would tell me, but as he seemed to stay lost in thought, I began to feel aggravated. Why wouldn't he tell me what he knew? Was I untrustworthy? I kept on staring at him, trying in vain to guess his thoughts. After a while, impatience, fueled by anxiousness and the fear of what awaited the old man and us, got the better of me and I put a hand, very conscious this move could make me lose an arm, on his shoulder.

He got back to the present with a start and turned a glare at me though he didn't reach for Yamato. "What do you want?", he growled menacingly.

"This man with the black rabbit ears... you know him, don't you? Who is he? What is he planning to do to the old man?", I asked him, intent on getting answers, for better or worse.

He once again became hesitant and he turned his head away, as though to better gather his thoughts. "That man... was the one to take me here in the first place. He is very likely the one who erased our names, and as such I believe not to be too far off when saying we might already have lost my brother, from what I learned happened recently. As for who he is, well... that is the real question. Even the Queen of Hearts answers to him, though he is not royalty. I don't even know his name, but I do know he somewhat controls this world, somehow. He was the one who made the path that took us here. He was the one who sent the white rabbit to lead us here," he said, weighing his words.

The implications of his words sunk in slowly. This man with the black rabbit ears... we were his playthings, pieces on a chessboard for him to do as he pleases. The final enemy to defeat in order for us to gain what had been taken from us. The reality that we might not make it dawned on me. We were, after all, going against a being almighty in this world. Our coming here had been a trap. Everything that had happened had been part of some carefully laid-out trap that led to some yet-unknown purpose, a purpose that was about to unravel before our very eyes. Whatever it was, it couldn't be good for us. His sigh as he seemed to come to terms with his worries took me out of my own thoughts.

He stepped in front of the mirror and half-turned to look at me. "We should get going. The longer we stay here, the thinner our chances to save him get," he said, about to take a step through.

Without thinking, I reached out and grabbed one of his hands to stop him. "Wait. If you go in first, we'll be seperated again. Or at least that's what the old man and I figured," I told him.

He frowned at me. "So what do you suggest? That we cross while holding hands like two idiots or else we'll waste time trying to regroup again?", he asked.

I couldn't even begin to guess what thoughts were crossing his mind at that moment. I would never even try to. Had we met first and under different circumstances, I might have fallen for him. But as it were, these moments we spent together only made greater respect for him grow in me. I wasn't as afraid as I had first been towards him. Though I still didn't dare try to do or say anything that could potentially anger him. He was like a half-tamed wild animal. You never know when they're just going to turn around and lash at you, but you can't help but feel drawn to them. The same as fire, but the fire in his eyes wasn't the warm kind. It was the cold wrath of the far north reflecting in the hungry eyes of a wolf, a man-killer, so cold it burns your skin yet so wild, intriguing, fascinating. Almost hypnotizing. I couldn't find words I deemed safe enough to answer him, so I didn't. I kept my tongue, eyes trained on his, hesitating, hoping against hope that the big bad wolf would spare me, maybe, just maybe, take me under his wing. If I had known these kinds of feelings awaited me, I'd have followed the old man after killing The Savior and I'd never have wasted my time trying to make it work with Kyrie. I know it sounds selfish, but I swear no kiss with the girl could ever make my stomach do flips even half as much as when his cool fingers closed around mine and he turned his head ahead with, though it must have been my imagination, a touch of embarrassment.

"Then just say it instead of wasting time fidgetting. I already told you I wouldn't kill you, pup."

With that, he pulled me through he mirror, though I didn't resist him, and we arrived in what looked like a flowery maze. Except said flowers were huge, made of paper and glaring at us menacingly, though in silence. A small gust of wind carried a word uttered in a mix of fear and disgust. "Demons." I froze completely at the accusation, the obvious insult. It was the first time the pure hatred associated with the word was thrown directly at me. For the first time I felt what it truly meant for ordinary people that I have demon blood running through my veins. It reminded me the stares and whispers back in Fortuna I had long learned to ignore, oversee and forget. It made me realize for the first time exactly what made this man holding my hand more of a kin to me than any other pure-blooded human. I could clearly, distinctly feel the anger of the demon inside me rise to respond to the provocation. A simple, little squeeze of his hand on mine made me look up at him, at the coldness of his blue eyes, at the sharp cruelty of his mask of sheer I-don't-fucking-care-ness and the anger stabilized, boiled down a little. He... no, they had suffered this hatred for far longer than I. Regarded as humans by demons, regarded as demons by humans... Neither, yet both, and still rejected by all, but hanging on with their sole will to live. Their will to defy all and do as they pleased, to get the one primordial right we are all supposed to be allowed: to live. At that moment I felt like I understood them completely, yet that this great distance between us had only grown ever wider. It made me realize a little better what the old man had meant when he had told me they weren't just brothers. It made me realize I had probably been living a lie all this time in Fortuna. I thought I heard him say not to mind them as he handed me what looked like a small cupcake on which was written "Eat me." I blinked in confusion, staring at the pastry, before looking at him as he took another one out of a familiar box. That same box he had picked up back in the first room. I watched as he took a bite out of it and the magic operated in front of my eyes and the startled flowers: he started growing first taller, as if invisible hands were stretching him height-wise, then he gained more volume from the feet up, like a balloon being inflated. When it was over, he looked like a giant, or how humans are supposed to look like to leprechauns, I suppose.

He looked down at me and raised an eyebrow. "What are you gawking at? I thought we were supposed to hurry," he said, and I could hear the impatience he didn't bother showing.

This startled me and I immitated him, taking a bite out of the cupcake myself. It tasted like bacon, or something alike. My body started tingling all over and I felt hot, incredibly so. Lightheadedness also gained me and I closed my eyes. The sensations almost immediately died away and when I opened my eyes again, I stood eye-to-eye with the old man's twin, though a lot closer to him than I remembered being. We were almost touching, breathing the same air, so close... A shiver ran down my spine and I felt a blush assailing my cheeks violently. I quickly stumbled back a few steps, too quickly, and I tripped. As I was falling backwards, he reached to me, quick as lightning, and caught one of my arms, preventing my fall. I felt my cheeks heating up even more.

He let go of my arm once he was sure I had gained back my balance and frowned at me, visibly annoyed. "Are you done being foolish, pup? Or will I have to suffer your foolishness longer still?", he growled.

I knew he was serious and that he could become violent very quickly if I continued to delay us any further. So I nodded and glanced around us. What had vaguely looked like a flowery maze was now a full-fledged hedge maze, stretching on and on to the horizon. We were on top of a hill, beside a big tree, and way over there at the bottom of the hill was a house. I figured that we had to go there next, though I didn't say anything. I simply stood still, looking at the old man's twin as he seemed to be lost in thought. Something caught my attention and I turned my head, in time to see a white rabbit disappear in the maze. Once more he grabbed my hand and pulled me along as he started walking quickly in the direction of where we had seen the rabbit disappear. It was the entrance to the maze. We walked in quickly and tried going in the general direction of the house, but after a while, we turned a corner and stopped as the big tree on top of the hill stood before us. We turned back and tried again, but ended up at the beginning of the maze again. I could see thoughts racing in his head as he clutched my hand in his. As for myself, I simply wondered what the heck was going on.

And so I voiced my thoughts. "What is going on, here? Why do we keep coming back here?", I asked, amazed, puzzled ans a little annoyed.

The old man's twin pointed to the tree. "Run over there as fast as you can. And don't you dare stop or slow down until I tell you or I shall cut your legs and make you wear them as a necklace," he ordered menacingly.

Although I found his order rather strange, I didn't question him and started running with all my might. However, no matter how much effort I put into it, no matter the wind whistling furiously in my ears, my surroundings didn't seem to change, as though I was runing in mid-air or something, but I could feel the firm ground beneath my boots. As I was getting out of breath, he finally told me to stop. I slowed down to a stop... and bumped right into him.

Before I could stumble, he grabbed my hand once more. "I should advise you to walk the other way," he mumbled, pulling me roughly along as he marched in the direction opposite the house.

I didn't even have time to blink that we were walking right through the back door of the house. I didn't understand what was happening at all, but I had already seen so many strange things since arriving in Wonderland that I began to think that this was simply how things worked around here. My eyes wandered back to him and I wondered if what I was beginning to feel was due to this mysterious Land of Wonder or simply the old man's absence and their resemblance. Maybe I was simply transposing my feelings onto this man aand they would revert back to their rightful place, or... and I feared this eventuality... I would continue to long for this man at least half as much as I did the old man. I couldn't lie to myself.


End file.
